Monday, April 07, 2014

April Showers Bring May Flowers. And Other Things.


After a glorious weekend of temperatures in the low sixties and clear skies, those April showers are returning to NoVa today, which is okay, because we all have to go back to work and won't be able to enjoy the great outdoors, anyhow.

But although April is known for the showers that bring May flowers*, it is also known for a number of offbeat celebrations and commemorations. Here's a list (with my observations, of course):

National Humor Month - we'll celebrate it four times this month on Cartoon Saturdays. And on other days, too.

International Guitar Month - of course it is. Would I string you along?

Keep America Beautiful Month - you could start by voting out 535 useless oxygen sponges in Washington.

Lawn and Garden Month - if the weather just decides on which season it wants to be, maybe I can get the lawn in shape and the garden planted. As it happens, our cold, damp winter has pushed the pollen season for just about everything into a narrow range of days this month here in NoVa - gives all-new meaning to the expression, "catching the red-eye."

National Poetry Month - now, there's a good reason to visit this blog for Poetry Sundays! Not that you needed one, of course.

National Pecan Month - you say PEE-cahn, I say pee-CAHN ... let's call the whole thing off. After we eat the pie, of course.

National Welding Month - how did Noah fasten the pieces of his boat together? With an arc welder, of course.

Records and Information Management Month - now THERE's an exciting excuse for a raucous party and a parade. Wake me when it's over.

Stress Awareness Month - believe me, I'm aware of it.

Sexual Assault Awareness Month - unfortunately, the people who need to be aware of this problem aren't. And don't care.

In addition to the month-long observations, there are (as there are in every month) lots of individual days devoted to odd things. My favorite is April 17th, which - I have discovered - is "Blah-Blah-Blah Day," devoted to getting you to do all of the projects and things that people have been nagging you to do. This is your day to quit smoking, lose weight, or fix the broken thing that your partner** has been bugging you about.

April. There's something for everyone to celebrate. As for me, I'm going to celebrate the slow approach of the tank top season for the ladies. You admire your scenery, I'll admire mine.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Every child knows the riddle: "If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!

** Can't say "wife" any more in today's non-gender-specific, can't-possibly-offend-anyone social environment.

4 comments:

eViL pOp TaRt said...

I say puh-CAHN; but I'll celebrate the return of these delectable nuts with you, Bilbo.

So many occasions; how can April be the cruelest month, as the overrated 1920s poem had it. Anyway, Happy Poetry Month!

Duckbutt said...

I like your proposal regarding tank top season. It's great to live in the South!

Mike said...

But is there a month that celebrates the month? The month month?

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

people are offended by the term wife? who are these people?
and only 535 oxygen sponges? how about we add the ones who support them like limbaugh and beck etc?
please?!