Friday, July 03, 2015

The Right Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2015

The selection of a suitable dishonoree for our biweekly Ass Clown awards is usually difficult, because the field of candidates from which to choose is what we in the Air Force tend to call a "target-rich environment." The level of intellectual effort which must be expended to wade through hip-deep cesspools of ass-clownery in search of the "best" awardee is high, and seldom matched by any degree of satisfaction, for there are always plenty of other chunks floating in the murky waters.

Today, however, we have a winner who has spared no effort to distinguish himself as a true paragon of monumental ass-clownery, standing head and shoulders above all other contenders in what is usually a tight contest.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I give you

The Right Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2015

Donald Trump

Mr Trump has won this award before ... he was, in fact, its first recipient (you can read it here), but he continues to exhibit his talents as a hateful gasbag even as he tries to convince us that he's qualified to be our president.

In the speech in which Mr Trump announced his candidacy, he said,

"When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best ... They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists."

As you might expect, this did not endear him to the Hispanic voters that the GOP desperately needs to court; indeed, Spanish-language TV network Univision terminated its five-year contract to air the Miss USA pageant, which Trump partially owns*, and NBC and Macy's also cut their lucrative ties with Mr Trump ... none of which slowed him down. Ignoring the conventional wisdom that one should stop digging when one reaches the bottom of the hole, he went on to tweet,

"I love the Mexican people, but Mexico is not our friend. They're killing us at the border and they're killing us on jobs and trade."

We live in a free country, and the First Amendment to the Constitution guarantees us the freedom of speech. This is crucial to our country, because it allows us to evaluate the ideas and the true character of the speakers. Thus, Mr Trump is entitled to his opinions ... and we are allowed to see the mentality and worth of the man behind them. For his dedicated efforts to demolish bridges to the Hispanic community, and for making even candidates like Ben Carson and Ted Cruz look good, Donald Trump is named the Right Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2015.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for something happier - Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.


* Trump, for his part, is suing Univision for $500 million.


eViL pOp TaRt said...

The logical choice is Donald Trump. Will he get the Left Cheek award in two weeks also?

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer said...

No better choice!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Good choice, however, he deserves both cheeks. The fact that he is polling at #2 behind Jeb is frightening. So my nomination for next ass cheek would be the American people who would vote for him.

Linda Kay said...

Lots of controversy on this guy, right? I've missed following you, but will be back more frequently soon!

Mike said...

Peggy's got the right idea.

Rudolph said...

Donald Trump must read Running for President for Dummies.

KathyA said...

So deserving of both cheeks and the space in the middle!!!

allenwoodhaven said...

A most worthy choice. My brother's family is from NH and he tells me not to worry about the polls. He said the votes aren't for real yet and when they are Trump will get very few. I hope that he's right!