During these cold, rainy, miserable days of winter, I've been working on my long-term project of documenting our family history. As befits a family of immigrants with roots in many lands, there are lots of great stories to be learned and written down and passed on ... and there are also the things our parents told us that may or may not have been quite true ...
Lies My Mother Told Me
by Elizabeth Thomas
If you keep eating raw spaghetti
you’ll get pinworms,
then I’ll have to make
a necklace of garlic for you to wear
each night while you sleep,
until they go away.
If you’re mean to your younger brother, I’ll know
because I have a special eye
that spies on you when I’m not home.
You cannot hide from it,
so don’t try.
If you touch your “down there”
any time other than when using the toilet,
your hand will turn green and fall off.
If you keep crossing your eyes
they will stay that way
until the wind
changes direction.
It is bad luck to kill a moth. Moths are
the souls of our ancestors and it just
might be Papa paying a visit.
If you kiss a boy on the mouth
your lips will stick together
and he’ll use the opportunity
to suck out your brains.
If you ever lie to me
God will know and
rat you out.
And sometimes
God exaggerates.
Trust me -
you don’t want that
to happen.
All our parents told us lies, but only in the interest of helping to raise us to be good and responsible people. Of course, other people tell us lies as well ... and some of them get elected.
Have a good day, and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when we trudge forward into the new week.
Bilbo
3 comments:
That poem was a pleasant surprise!
I've killed many a moth over the years. This explains a lot.
Great poem!
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