Sunday, November 29, 2020

Musical Sunday


Even though the transition to adult leadership is underway in Washington, Der Furor continues desperately and without success to overturn an election he lost by more than 6 million votes. This offering from The Parody Project seems appropriate. Apologies to Paul Simon ...


I think he missed the one about the Uber arriving from the psychiatric hospital.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your Thanksgiving weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, November 28, 2020

Cartoon Saturday


Well, at least the transition to adult leadership has started ...

Legendary Argentine soccer star Diego Maradona died of heart failure at age 60; Der Furor and his allies continued their relentless attempts to overturn the results of the presidential election; a New York state couple found more than 66 bottles of Prohibition-era whiskey hidden in the walls and floorboards of their home, which was built in 1915; Der Furor pardoned (by tweet, of course) his former national security adviser Michael Flynn, who had pleaded guilty (twice) to lying to the F.B.I. about his conversations with a Russian diplomat; and in the Sri Lankan town of Ampara, authorities have resorted to digging a moat around the local garbage dump to keep elephants from scavenging and harming themselves by eating plastic waste.

This week, because it helps to laugh when you can't cry, here's a collection of cartoons about the challenges of surviving 2020 ...

Horoscopes aren't what they used to be ...


Think of it as natural selection ...


Children's games have adapted to both social distancing and technology ...


Masks are essential for helping to limit the spread of Covid-19, but they do have some problems of their own ...


My friend Birgitte had this problem even before masks made it worse ...


And you think you have problems with masks ...


The unforeseen consequences of mask wearing ...


It's not a perp walk ...


One of the economic impacts of mask wearing that you don't always think about ...


All that training gone to waste ...


And that's the way it is so far in 2020. Need something else to laugh at? Come back tomorrow for Musical Sunday, when The Parody Project meets Paul Simon. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Friday, November 27, 2020

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


Last collection for November ...

Almost? ...


Anything I could say would get me in trouble, so I'll just leave this one here ...


I'll pass on this one ...


Now that was a tough puzzle ...


Except for grammar ...


I know what kind of pie I want ...


It's a radical solution to the problem, but it may well be picked up by the GOP in 2024 ...


I've never met a urinal player before, but I guess Tennessee must have at least some of them ...


I wonder what he wanted to buy next ...


Somebody has a clean grasp of the obvious ...


And that's a wrap for November's great moments in editing and signage. Come back tomorrow for the final Cartoon Saturday of the month ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Thanksgiving, 2020


Happy Thanksgiving!

I've been writing this blog since 2006, and some of you - masochists that you are - have been reading it for almost all of that time. You've learned many things about me over the years, one of which is that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. In a crazy world in which we too often focus on fear and negativity* and the material things in life, it's good to have a day on which to sit back and reflect on the things for which we can be truly thankful.

We’re living in a terrifying time in which it’s easy to be distracted from things for which we can be thankful, because there is so much going on that is awful. For me, this year the awful things included:

A presidential administration and its unquestioning partisan supporters that ruined America's standing in the world, coarsened our political discourse, worked overtime to undermine the results of an election that repudiated its excesses, relentlessly worked to undermine our legal system, our voting rights, and the unexpectedly fragile fundamental institutions of our government, and utterly mismanaged the tragedy of the Covid-19 pandemic, undermining the health, safety, and security of the American people; and,

The horror of realizing that many Americans continue to accept frequent mass murder - even of little children - as an acceptable price to pay for the unrestricted "right to bear arms;" and

On the whole, though, it’s actually been a decent year. Although there have been negatives, I have to consider myself a lucky man for a lot of reasons … such as:

The patient and long-suffering love of a beautiful and endlessly talented wife;

Three loving and successful children of whom I am proud beyond all measure;

Six adorable, intelligent, talented, and loving grandchildren;

A large and loving extended family;

A comfortable retirement**;

A roof over my head***;

Good health†;

Good friends;

The good fortune to be able to live in the United States of America - a country which, for all its faults, gives me the opportunity to enjoy all of the above;

The ability to write what I wish in this space without worrying about government censorship††; and,

The ability to enjoy the good things of the world that would be denied by those whose harsh and intolerant worship of a jealous and angry God ignores the beauty and possibilities of the present in favor of rigid belief in an imagined paradise in an unknowable future.

I have many things to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day, and it's only proper that I should take a few minutes to acknowledge that I am, as ever, most richly blessed.

I wish all of you, Dear Readers, Friends, the very happiest and safest of holidays, even if it must be limited by the measures we need to survive a deadly disease.

Have a good day. Give thanks for the good things you have and the bad things you don't. And stay out of the stores tomorrow ... you'll thank me.




More thoughts tomorrow, when we offer a new collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage.

Bilbo

* Yes, Der Furor and the GOP, I'm talking to you.

** So far, anyhow.

*** As long as we keep up the payments.

† Until the GOP succeeds in gutting Medicare and wiping out the ACA with no replacement, anyway.

†† Yet. Given Der Furor's attitude toward the First Amendment, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Sunday, November 22, 2020

Poetry Sunday


This coming Thursday we celebrate the American holiday of Thanksgiving. As those of you who know me or have been with me on this blog through the years, it's my favorite holiday. As much as I complain about all sorts of things, I'm smart enough to realize that I am uniquely blessed and have much to be thankful for - the love of a beautiful and talented wife, strong and dynamic children who have carved their own paths in life, six beautiful and talented grandchildren, a roof over my head, and a comfortable if modest existence.

Thanksgiving is the one day each year we are asked to stop and be grateful for what we have rather than what we wished we could have. This poem, the author of which is unknown to me, sums up how I feel about this most personal and meaningful of holidays.

I Am Thankful – A Poem of Thanksgiving
Author Unknown

I am thankful:

For the wife
Who says it’s hot dogs tonight
Because she is home with me
And not out with someone else.

For the husband
Who is on the sofa
Being a couch potato
Because he is home with me
And not out at the bars.

For the teenager
Who is complaining about doing dishes
Because it means she is at home,
Not on the streets.

For the taxes I pay
Because it means
I am employed.

For the mess to clean after a party
Because it means I have
Been surrounded by friends.

For the clothes that fit a little too snug
Because it means
I have enough to eat.

For my shadow that watches me work
Because it means
I am out in the sunshine.

For a lawn that needs mowing,
Windows that need cleaning,
And gutters that need fixing
Because it means that I have a home.

For all the complaining
I hear about the government
Because it means
We have freedom of speech.

For the parking spot
I find at the far end of the parking lot
Because it means
I am capable of walking,
And I have been blessed with transportation.

For my huge heating bill
Because it means
I am warm.

For the lady behind me in church
Who sings off key
Because it means I can hear.

For the pile of laundry and ironing
Because it means
I have clothes to wear.

For weariness and aching muscles
At the end of the day
Because it means I have been
Capable of working.

For the alarm that goes off
In the early morning hours
Because it means
I am alive.


I am thankful for many things, Dear Readers, and I hope I will never be so complacent about it as to limit my gratitude to one day per year.

Have a good day and enjoy this wonderful holiday, despite all the bitterness and chicanery in the world. Though our ability to celebrate with family and friends may be limited in this ghastly year, at least we are alive and living in America ... battered and dented it may be, it's still where the rest of the world wishes it could be.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, November 21, 2020

Cartoon Saturday


Oh, dear gawd, make it stop ...

Der Furor's "elite strike team" of lawyers continued to spew evidence-free attempts to undermine the incoming Biden administration; in the face of raging rates of Coronavirus infections, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are encouraging Americans to stay at home and avoid large gatherings at Thanksgiving; police in the German capitol of Berlin have arrested a man suspected of sexually-motivated murder and cannibalism after a victim's bones were found in a city park; despite losing more than two dozen court cases, Der Furor's legal team continued its desperate attempts to overturn the results of an election Joe Biden won by more than six million votes; and in Wisconsin, accused murderer Kyle Rittenhouse claimed he used money from his government stimulus check to purchase the gun he used to kill two people and wound a third during violent demonstrations in August.

This week, as the weather gets colder and we turn to indoor pursuits, how about a few cartoons about the dancing of the horizontal tango? ...

It's all in how you look at it ...


I'm surprised it took so long for someone to draw this one ...


I saw a different version of this cartoon a few years ago in which the caption was, "Are you sure she's got a friend?" ...


I think this could be a little dicey, but ...


After you get to a certain age, it makes sense ...


Jealousy ...


Gives new meaning to the expression, "phoning it in" ...


Things are quite a bit different now than they were back in the day ...


Fun at any age, yes? ...


Well, at least you know the rules up front ...


Was it good for you, too? I hope so.

Have a good day and a great weekend. Come back tomorrow for the Thanksgiving edition of Poetry Sunday - more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Friday, November 20, 2020

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for November, 2020


2020 has been a banner year for ass clowns. Tens of millions of them voted for an incompetent and dangerously erratic narcissist, then howled and demonstrated when - against all evidence - their guy lost the election by more than six million votes. Hundreds of them in official positions across the government at the state and local levels enabled a terrifyingly inept administration whose careless and frivolous approach to the public good has led to the needless deaths of - as of this morning - more than a quarter million Americans.

How on earth can I identify a single ass clown as representative of the class?

Fortunately, the choice is obvious. With a loud and flatulent blare of trumpets and a roll of muffled drums, we announce

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for November, 2020


and the hands-down winner is

Rudy Giuliani


No one I can remember has squandered a good reputation and public goodwill as much as the man once known as "America's Mayor" for his leadership as mayor of New York City during the crisis period of September 11th, 2001. As the loudly sycophantic attorney for Der Furor, Mr Giuliani has led the charge to muddy the waters of this year's presidential election, trumpeting wild conspiracy theories and charges for which absolutely no evidence exists to salve the wounded feelings of his orange idol. With amazing tone-deafness, he held a news conference in defense of Der Furor in front of a landscaping company between an adult bookstore and a crematorium. He has been questioned skeptically by a Pennsylvania judge for his incompetence in presenting any sort of coherent, evidence-based defense of his contention of widespread voting fraud, and that the election was "stolen" from Der Furor.

In desperate search of material with which to smear former Vice President Joe Biden and to undermine the impeachment of Der Furor, Mr Giuliani traveled to Ukraine in an attempt to dig up evidence in support of his and Der Furor's unfounded allegations of wrongdoing by Biden and his family. 

Mr Giuliani has made himself a laughingstock and an embarrassment (if such is possible any more) to the administration and to the nation. If there is any justice left in this country, he will never again be allowed to appear in court other than as a defendant. He is the obvious choice for this award, his third* since we began designating standout ass clowns in 2011.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for November, 2020, is Mr Rudolph William Giuliani.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. You know you need it.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo


Sunday, November 15, 2020

Musical Sunday


2020 continued its list of sad news this week as we learned of the death of legendary TV figure Alex Trebek, host of the popular game show Jeopardy for 37 seasons and a total of 8,200 individual episodes. The show was wildly popular and inspired lots of imitators and satire - notably the extremely NSFW "Celebrity Jeopardy" takeoffs that aired on Saturday Night Live and often featured a very obscene parody of Sean Connery, who also passed away this month.

For Musical Sunday this week, we reach back to an early satire by Weird Al Yankovic in which the Greg Kihn tune "Our Love's in Jeopardy" became "I Lost on Jeopardy" ...



Oh, well ... at least Weird Al wasn't the only complete loser ... perhaps a future episode of Celebrity Jeopardy airing after next January will feature another one.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, November 14, 2020

Cartoon Saturday


If June 6, 1944, is remembered as "the longest day," there's not much doubt 2020 will be remembered as "the longest year" ... and yet it grinds on .,.

Alex Trebek, the avuncular long-time host of the popular TV game show "Jeopardy," passed away at 80; Der Furor continues to deny the reality of his loss of the presidency to Joe Biden, although the unofficial electoral total of 306 for Biden to 232 for his opponent is the same as that which Der Furor touted as a "historic landslide" when he won it in 2016; the Vatican published the 449-page report of its two-year internal investigation into the sex abuse scandal surrounding defrocked Cardinal Theodore McCarrick; tropical storm Theta became the 29th named storm of the 2020 season, breaking the previous record of 28 set in 2005; and Peter Sutcliffe, England's notorious "Yorkshire Ripper," died in prison of complications from Covid-19.

The way 2020 has been going, a collection of cartoons about the travails of crash test dummies seems appropriate ...

He always announces himself ...


Travel and sightseeing aren't always a nice break from the routine ...


Everybody's gotta start someplace ...


Repeat offender ...


Decisions, decisions ...


Uh, oh ...


Good decision ...


I hope she at least fastens her seat belt ...


Crash-test aerobics ...


You must have known how these things were tested ...


And there you have it - a collection of cartoons to try and help you get over the news. Hopefully, it helps.

Have a good day and a great weekend - more thoughts tomorrow, when Musical Sunday returns.

Bilbo

Friday, November 13, 2020

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


Here we go with the first batch of editorial and signage gems for November ... and on Friday the 13th, no less ...

They needed a study to determine this? ...


I'd think they'd need less than one day ...


There's always a shortage of bloob ...


Hell, I'm not a doctor, and I could have said this ...


Who wants dirty cheese? ...


I expect it's a little tough ...


I'm not familiar with this model ...


Well, it gives you something to do until the laundry is done ...


Glock makes knives? ...


What else can I say? ...


And so it goes for this edition of Great Moments in Editing and Signage. Now beat it, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo