Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Ready or not, it's time for our first edition of Great Moments in Editing and Signage for September!

I wonder what the clue was ...

Perhaps the layout designer could have given more thought to ad placement ...

Hmmm ...

I'm not sure I want to know about this place ...

Well, it should help keep the kids entertained ...

Tuesdays should appeal to children with small allowances ...

I hope none of those trans ducks are migrating through red states ...

Wait, what? ...

Well, where else would it be from? ...

But don't worry ... I'm sure RFK and his top-flight staff at HHS and the CDC are on it ...

And that's it for this week's collection of editorial and signage ya-has - I hope you enjoyed them. 

Have a good day and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when we try to upstage a fellow blogger - more thoughts then.

Bilbo

The Murder of Charlie Kirk

Right-wing influencer and shouting head Charlie Kirk, the head of the conservative youth movement Turning Point USA and vocal supporter of Der Furor, was murdered yesterday afternoon during a speech at Utah Valley University. 

Any murder is a heinous crime, and yet there are those who will celebrate Mr Kirk’s death. He was, after all, a mouthpiece for hateful political views, and was once quoted as saying 

"I think it's worth it. I think it's worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights. That is a prudent deal. It is rational. Nobody talks like this. They live in a complete alternate universe." 

I wonder if he ever thought that he would end up as one of those whose death was rational and worth it.

Although I detested Charlie Kirk and everything he stood for, there is no - I repeat - no excuse for political violence in this country. When we have national leadership that not only excuses the violence of January 6th, 2021, but pardons and glorifies the participants, we encourage political violence at the expense of rational discourse. When the Air Force grants a funeral with full military honors for Ashli Babbitt, a woman who traitorously stormed the nation's capitol, we encourage political violence at the expense of rational discourse. When we fail to denounce the murder of political figures of any party, we encourage political violence at the expense of rational discourse. 

Political violence today seems to be excusable when it's one's own partisans who engage in it, but horrible when it's the other side that does it.

This has to end, but I doubt that anyone - particularly on the extreme MAGA right - will see it as a problem. It is, after all, the ultimate owning of the libs.

We would do well to remember the words of John Donne in his famous poem "No Man Is an Island:"

Each man's death diminishes me,

For I am involved in mankind.

Therefore, send not to know

For whom the bell tolls,

It tolls for thee.

We need to stop the tolling of the bell.

Have a good day. Denounce all political violence, no matter who is engaging in it. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Thoughts about Elections

Yesterday, voters in Virginia’s 11th Congressional District went to the polls to select a successor to the late  Congressman Gerry Connolly, decisively electing Democrat James Walkinshaw to fill the seat. As I have for many years now, I served as an Election Officer at our local precinct, and I wanted to take a few minutes today to offer some thoughts on elections and the protection of our rights.

I have nothing but contempt for those who complain of vast voter fraud. Years of experience as a trained election officer have given me confidence in the strength and honesty of our elections and the near impossibility of manipulating the system at the precinct and county level. Of course, Fairfax County is a largely upper middle class district with a good tax base* that allows generous investment in equipment and training for election workers, and we have a strict code of ethics for election officers that we renew annually and take very seriously.

I would venture to say that the chances of someone sucessfully voting illegally in this county are virtually zero. If there is any question at the precinct level about someone’s eligibility (for whatever reason) to vote, we provide them a “provisional” ballot. My job, as a trained “Provisional Voting Specialist,” is to make sure that the voter provides enough initial information to allow the next level reviewers to make a judgement on the eligibility of the voter and allow their vote to be recorded. The most common reason for issuing a provisional ballot is that the voter requested an absentee ballot, but either lost it or decided to vote in person and did not surrender the unmarked absentee ballot at the polling place. In such cases, the person votes provisionally, and their vote is counted once the Election Authority verifies that the absentee ballot was not cast and counted. Another reason is that the voter resides in our district, but did not previously register to vote. In such cases, the Provisional Voting Specialist (yep, me) verifies the voter’s address and the date they moved into the precinct and makes a decision on whether the person can do a “Same Day Registration” (SDR, allowed by Virginia law) and cast a provisional ballot pending final confirmation of their eligibility. In some cases, the law offers a person who recently moved but but failed to change their registration to the new address the option either to return to their old precinct and cast a regular vote or to vote provisionally in the new precinct. Either way, the voter gets to vote.

The process of counting the votes at the precinct level is designed to prevent errors and fraudulent voting. Everything has to match or be otherwise accounted for: if X number of people checked in to vote, we need to show that X number of blank ballots were issued and X number of ballots were recorded by the optical scanner. If the numbers don’t match, we take excruciating care to figure out why. Sometimes a voter marks their ballot incorrectly or makes some extra mark that causes the scanner to reject it … they surrender the original ballot, which we mark as “spoiled” and retain, and we issue them a new one, in which case the record will show more ballots issued than voters checked in. Occasionally, we get what we call a “fleeing voter,” who has checked in and been issued a ballot, but who leaves the polling place without scanning their ballot or before the optical scanner indicates their ballot was rejected … in this case, the numbers will show fewer ballots scanned and recorded than voters checked in. We must account for every discrepancy, and can’t leave the polling place at the end of the day until we have.

Virginia voting law is designed to offer the maximum opportunity for eligible citizens to vote. At the pollling place, we will never tell anyone “you can’t vote.”  The system is designed to assume voter eligibility by allowing the casting of provisional ballots that are counted once the voter’s eligibility has been confirmed. The system allows everyone to cast a ballot while weeding out ineligibles through the verification process. The penalties for voting illegally are severe, in order to protect our most valuable right.

If you are one of those people who are convinced - against all evidence - that voter fraud at the polling place level is a thing, then put up or shut up - volunteer to be part of the process and learn how things really work. Volunteer to be an Election Officer, get the training, know the law, and see the process as it actually works, not as you’ve been told it does by people who have their own malicious agenda. 

Obviously, I can’t speak for the training, processes, and individual integrity of the election workers in every state, but I can tell you - from years of experience and extensive training - that elections in our county are as honest and trustworthy as they can be.

And I’m proud to be a part of it.

Have a good day. If you want to protect the integrity of your vote, become a part of the election system: volunteer to become a trained Election Officer in your county or parish, and regain your confidence in the process that protects your most important voice.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* And do I like to complain about that!

Musical Sunday

It's no secret that Der Furor's administration is probably the least scientifically literate in American history. Total ignorance of the reality of climate change, pollution, and the danger to public health of diseases no longer held in check by a world-class medical establishment is the hallmark of a proudly and profoundly ignorant president and his team of lackeys selected not for competence but for slavish adoration of their Dear Leader. This tune from The Parody Project, a takeoff on the classic Simon and Garfunkel tune "The Sound of Silence," is about as timely as it could ever be ...

Here are the lyrics:

Hello darkness my old friend.

It’s time for him to tweet again,

but first he’ll have to check in with fox news

‘cause that’s the only place he gets his clues.

That’s how things get planted in his brain,

where they remain,

and it confounds the science.

The problem is he’s not alone.

He tweets to people on his phone

that global warming is a giant hoax

perpetuated by the liberal folks,

and he hires people that all think the same,

that play his game

and it confounds the science.

When he talks to crowds of four

he sees ten thousand maybe more,

believing they all think he’s god on earth

and was the product of a virgin birth

and if you disagree you’re the victim of fake news

or feminist shrews

and it confounds the science.

“Fools," says he, "you do not know

it makes me smart from so much dough.

I know exactly where the problems are."

But his solutions are beyond bizarre

‘cause his words never quite a sentence make

and thus he spake

and it confounds the science.

No limits on pollution now.

There’s not a thing we don’t allow.

Dump the garbage in the waterway.

Spray the toxins where your children play.

All the signs say that life on the planet is headed for a downward fall.

Go to the mall,

and continue to confound the science.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Listen to the people who know what they're talking about ... which does not include anyone serving in this administration.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Well, it didn't take September long to go to Hell, did it?

Der Furor announced that he will move the headquarters of the United States Space Command from Colorado Springs to Huntsville, Alabama; famed fashion designer Georgio Armani has died at the age of 91; Der Furor claimed that the U.S. military killed 11 people on Tuesday in a strike - on the high seas - on a vessel from Venezuela he claimed was an imminent threat to the United States carrying "massive amounts" of illegal drugs, and also announced that he would change the name of the Department of Defense to its pre-1947 designation as "Department of War" because it sounds better; Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., testified during a contentious Senate hearing focused on his policies and his management of the agency; and according to a new study, people who bring their smartphones to the bathroom are reporting a higher rate of hemorrhoids.

This week, a collection of cartoons about food, drink, and cooking.

I'll take a case ...

The latest in high-tech grilling ...

Every French cooking lesson tells you that you can't use too much butter ...

What you really need before cooking breakfast ...

If you've ever tried to cook fresh spinach, you know ...

Food trucks for billionaires ...

Where do I sign up? 

I enjoy a good rare steak but there are limits ...

Now, that's a coarse grind ...

It's all part of the mise en place, which is French for "get your shit together before you start cooking" ...

And that's it for the first Cartoon Saturday of September - I hope it gave you a bit of a lift from the otherwise dreadful news.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when The Parody Project returns to Musical Sunday - see you then.

Bilbo

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2025

A new month of dread has dawned as we wait with bated breath for the next steps in the dismantling of the United States. As always in these turbulent times, it's hard to single out individual - or even group - winners for our Ass Clown Awards, but I think there's a clear winner this time.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we present the tinfoil and toilet paper crown to

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2025

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., noted anti-vaccine activist and purveyor of odd theories of health, nutrition, and medical care, was appointed Secretary of Health and Human Services by Der Furor, with the aid of a compliant Senate that included Senator Bill Cassidy - a physician (gastroenterologist) and a man who certainly should have known better.

Mr Kennedy's HHS appointment was enabled in large part by an initially skeptical Senator Cassidy, who extracted a promise from Mr Kennedy that he would not interfere with the vaccine advisory committee of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Mr Kennedy, once confirmed, fired the entire panel and replaced the members - all physicians and scientists - with a collection of vaccine skeptics more in line with his personal beliefs. 

Under Mr Kennedy's leadership, the state of public health in the United States has, arguably, declined precipitously. The downgrading or elimination of vaccine recommendations alone has led to outbreaks of measles - a deadly disease once thought eradicated, and an erosion of confidence in the safety and efficacy of long-standing medical opinions. The wholesale firing of experienced scientists and physicians from the CDC and other HHS offices and their replacement with unqualified hacks distinguished only by their rejection of proven science and medicine has set the nation on the road to the public health status of the most backward third-world country.

On September 4th, former CDC Director Susan Monarez published an Op-Ed piece in the Wall Street Journal in which she claimed she was after 29 days on the job because she insisted on rigorous scientific review of administration policies. Her article was a damning indictment of an incompetent person selected for political reasons to run an organization crucial for public health and safety. She wrote that Kennedy and his anti-vaccine colleagues 

“use a familiar playbook: discredit research, weaken advisory committees, and use manipulated outcomes to unravel protections that generations of families have relied on to keep deadly diseases at bay. Once trusted experts are removed and advisory bodies are stacked, the results are predetermined. That isn’t reform. It is sabotage.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Right-Cheek Ass Clown Award for September, 2025, is presented to HHS Director Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. In an administration intentionally staffed with incompetent officials whose only qualification is slavish devotion to Der Furor, Mr Kennedy stands alone as the one most likely to cause lasting harm not just to our economy, our infrastructure, or our international standing, but to our very health.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow when we cook up a tasty Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Florida Solves Multiple Crises with a Single Master Stroke!

My attention was drawn to this article in yesterday's New York Times: Florida Moves to End Vaccine Mandates for Schoolchildren. The lead paragraph reads,

Florida plans to become the first state to end all vaccine mandates, including for schoolchildren, rejecting a practice that public health experts have credited for decades with limiting the spread of infectious diseases. 

My initial reaction was that this was a horrifyingly stupid move, guaranteed to hike the mortality rate in a state full of elderly retirees. But the more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that it was a brilliant move that will solve many problems plaguing (sorry about that) the Sunshine State and the rest of the nation.

It will help solve the crisis in housing availability and affordability. As large numbers of homeowners die of preventable diseases, their homes will come onto the market in great quantities, making more homes available and driving down prices through increased supply. Genius!

It will help solve the problem of overcrowded and underfunded schools. As the number of young children is reduced through the return of once-preventable childhood diseases, classroom spaces will open up,  teacher-to-student ratios will decline, and meager school funding will go farther to serve fewer students.

It will help ease the pressure on hospitals and other health care facilities. As more potential users of medical services die off, hospital beds will be more readily available and remaining health care resources will go farther. Unfortunately, the cost of medical care will not go down correspondingly, as this would negatively affect the profitability of health insurance companies.

It will drive crime rates down. As more young people, who are the most common offenders, and older people, the most common victims, die off, the number of violent crimes will probably fall, although it is unlikely to affect the overall profitability of the firearms industry.

I'm sure there are other advantages I haven't thought of yet, but they're out there. Far be it from me to praise the actions of ignorant political buffoons like Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and Florida Surgeon General Dr. Joseph A. Ladapo, but I have to admit that this was a stroke of genius. I'm sure other deep red states eager to resculpt their faces by cutting off their noses will soon follow suit. 

Have a good day. Get the shots. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Rethinking the Presidency in the Constitution

If the rolling catastrophe of Der Furor's presidency has taught us anything, it's that the authors of the Constitution severely underestimated the ability of unprincipled, unscrupulous, and dangerous individuals and parties to exploit every conceivable loophole of a document deliberately crafted to be ambiguous enough to appeal to a wide range of ideologies, geographical concerns, and governing philosophies.

Although I realize there's not the least chance in my lifetime of the Constitution ever being updated or amended to fix its worst shortcomings, here's my recommendation for updating Article II, which covers the presidency and its powers.

Article II - The Executive Branch

Section 1 - General

The Executive Branch is headed by the President of the United States of America, who serves both as head of state and head of government. The President is elected for a four year term of office, and may serve a maximum of two terms, which need not be consecutive. A President elected to a second, nonconsecutive term may not run for an additional term. A President who serves a partial term due to the death, resignation, or removal of the elected incumbent, is considered to have served a full term.

The President is assisted by a Vice President, who will serve as President should the incumbent die, resign, be impeached, or be otherwise unable to fulfill the duties of the office. 

Section 2 - Qualifications for Office  

In order to serve as President or Vice President, a candidate must be between thirty-five and sixty-five years of age and a citizen of the United States, either native born or naturalized. A naturalized citizen must have been a citizen for a minimum of twenty years as of the date of election, and may not hold dual citizenship with their country of birth or any other country. 

Section 3 - Election, Compensation, and Presidential Oath of Office

The President and Vice President will be elected by the popular vote of the majority of legal adult citizens eligible to vote according to the laws of the respective states.

Presidential elections will be held on the first Tuesday of November, unless Congress changes the date through legislation. Each state will determine its own methods, rules and systems for the conduct of elections, as long as the state's laws do not limit the right of eligible citizens to vote. The President's term of office begins at noon on January 20th of the year following the date of election, or on January 21st should the 20th fall on a Sunday.

The President and Vice President shall receive a salary paid from the Treasury, the amount of which shall be fixed by law and shall neither increase nor decrease during their term of office. While serving in office, they shall receive no other salary, payment, reward, or compensation from any other source, and shall place all personal investments or other holdings into a blind trust. Expenses of the office of the President and Vice President for their official duties shall likewise be paid from the Treasury, and subject annually to formal audit and accounting, the results of which shall be considered public information. Gifts of any form or value presented to the President or Vice President by a foreign leader are the property of the United States and may not be retained for personal use or display.

Before taking office, the President shall take the following Oath or Affirmation: "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Section 4 - Duties and Responsibilities of the President and Vice President

As Head of Government, the President shall oversee the activities of Executive Branch agencies, but will exercise no direct day-to-day managerial control over their operations; such control will be carried out by heads of the respective departments nominated by the President and confirmed by the Senate. 

As Head of State, the President shall be the official representative of the United States at all international conferences, assemblies, and other meetings of national leaders.

The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces of the United States, and of the National Guard forces of the States when those forces are mobilized for service of the United States. Mobilization for national service of National Guard units must be ordered in writing by the President and shall not exceed thirty days duration unless authorized by Congress. In an emergency, the President may order, through the Secretary of Defense, the employment of forces necessary to meet the immediate emergency; however, such employment of forces must be approved by the Senate within ten calendar days.

The President may solicit the opinion and advice of the principal officer in each of the executive departments, upon any subject relating to the duties and responsibilities of their offices.

The President shall have power to grant reprieves and pardons for offenses against the United States, except in cases of impeachment. Reprieves and pardons will be granted only upon a formal recommendation made to the President by the Department of Justice.  

The President shall have power to negotiate treaties, subject to the advice and consent of the Senate and the concurrence of two thirds of the Senators. 

The President shall nominate and, with the advice and consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, officers of the federal government, judges of the Supreme Court, and all other officers of the United States whose appointments are established by law. Congress may by legislation vest the appointment of specific officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the appropriate courts, or in the heads of the departments in which they will serve.

The President shall have the power to remove, for cause based on publicly provided evidence, officers they have appointed. Causes for removal include, but are not limited to, treason, fraud, bribery, felony criminal acts, and abuse of office. 

The President may fill vacancies that occur when the Senate is in recess, but such appointments must be confirmed by the Senate when it reconvenes. Recess appointees not subsequently confirmed by the Senate shall be withdrawn and new nominees submitted for approval.

The President shall, at least annually, provide Congress his or her assessment of the state of the union, relations of the United States with other nations, details of their legislative program, and their view of the nation for the coming year.

The President shall receive Ambassadors and other public ministers, although the Secretary of State shall generally perform this duty except when diplomatic circumstances require the personal attention of the President. 

The President shall faithfully execute the laws passed by Congress. 

The President shall commission all officers of the United States government and the Armed Forces.

The duties of the Vice President are as assigned by the President, except that the Vice President shall serve as President of the Senate. In this role, the Vice President will have no vote on legislation or other matters unless the Senate is evenly divided.

Section 5 - Line of Succession

Should the President be unable to exercise the duties of office, the following officials will, in the specified order of succession, assume the Presidency:

The Vice President

The Speaker of the House of Representatives

The President Pro Tempore of the Senate

The Secretary of State

The Secretary of the Treasury

The Secretary of Defense

The Attorney General

The Secretary of the Interior

The Secretary of Agriculture

The Secretary of Commerce

The Secretary of Labor

The Secretary of Health and Human Services

The Secretary of Housing and Urban Development

The Secretary of Transportation

The Secretary of Energy

The Secretary of Education

The Secretary of Veterans Affairs

The Secretary of Homeland Security

Section 6 - Removal from Office

The President, Vice President and all civil officers of the United States, shall be removed from office on impeachment for, and conviction of, treason, bribery, public corruption, or other criminal offenses.

*****

What do you think of my recommended changes and updates? Would this prevent the rise of another Der Furor-like president? What have I missed, or what could be better expressed to eliminate loopholes? Would any of this make things worse? Leave a comment and let's discuss. 

Have a good day. Keep an eye on presidents who believe they are kings. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo