Musical Sunday

Yesterday we celebrated the birthday of country music star Charlie Daniels, who went to that big hayride in the sky back in 2020. What could be more appropriate (and more timely) for our last Musical Sunday of the Halloween season than Charlie Daniels' story of the time the devil went down to Georgia ....

Yes, the Devil did go down to Georgia, but it wasn't souls he was looking to steal. And this time, he's not facing Johnny's bow, but Fani's jury.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Just when you think it can't get any stupider ... 

After three weeks of embarrassing flailing and buffoonery, House Republicans elected hard-right Louisiana Representative Mike Johnson as Speaker of the House; the nation's latest mass murder by gunfire took place in Lewiston, Maine, where at least 18 people were murdered and dozens injured by a suspect who seems later to have committed suicide; Der Furor was fined another $10,000 by Judge Arthur Engoron for comments made about a member of the judge's staff; the brutal war between Israel and Hamas in Gaza continued, with many thousands of dead and injured, mostly civilians and including many children, on both sides; and in New York City, rescuers worked for ten hours to free a man accidentally trapped in the steel-reinforced concrete vault of a building housing several jewelry businesses, only to find that the door was on a timer and would have eventually opened by itself the following morning. 

This week, our final Cartoon Saturday of the Halloween season honors the often-overlooked Creature from the Black Lagoon ... 

Yep, that would work ...

The economy is so bad that even monsters need a second job ...

There's good news, and there's bad news ...

I think I'll skip the black beans in future recipes ...

No wonder he's angry and ferocious ...

I'm not sure that's the right reaction ...

Even monsters have musical preferences ...

He's probably better than a lot of others ...

Dating a creature can be a problem ...

He's not so scary ...

And there you have it - our final Cartoon Saturday salute to Halloween for 2023 ... I hope you enjoyed it. 

Have a good day and a great weekend, and make sure your Halloween decorations are ready. More thoughts tomorrow, when our final Halloween-season Musical Sunday goes down to Georgia in search of the Devil - see you then.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

It's the last collection of the month, and awaaaay we go ...

Oh, look! Deviled eggs are on sale ...

Ewoclem mats, only 6 Euros each! What a deal ...

My garden must be worth a fortune ...

That must be why it's on sale ...

That lamb must be completely worn out ...

I guess it was an understandable mistake ...

A pitcher of what?? ...

I wonder if they've had problems with that door ...

Ummm ... okaaaay ...

In case you want to treat yourself to lunch after your colonoscopy ...

That's it for now, but there'll be another collection in two weeks. Don't forget to e-mail me great examples you find!

Have a good day and come back tomorrow, when the Creature from the Black Lagoon emerges from the swamp (no, not Washington, a different one) for our final Cartoon Saturday of the Halloween season. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Here We Go Again

As I write this, the person who murdered at least 18 people and injured dozens more in a mass murder by gunfire in Lewiston, Maine, is still at large.

I'm tired of writing about the carnage we can lay at the feet of the gun lobby and those besotted with a desire to own and brandish military-style deadly weapons. Nobody listens, anyhow. Instead, I thought I'd perform a public service and offer something useful at times like this ... 

Mass Shooting Checklist

1. Send thoughts and prayers. Tearful performance in front of cameras is optional.

2. Lower flags to half-mast.

3. Declare that the aftermath of a mass murder is not the right time to discuss remedial actions. Consult the diagram below to determine an appropriate time.

4. Describe the precipitating cause as “mental illness,” “troubled childhood,” or “workplace issues.” Divert attention from the gun as the instrument of violence by noting that people are killed by knives, explosives, strangulation, and other methods as well.

5. Argue over semantics of the term "assault rifle."

6. Invoke the supremacy of the Second Amendment and describe firearms deaths as “the price of freedom.”

7. Ensure proper terminology is used (NOTE: never use the term “murder” or “murderer.” Approved terms include “incident,” “active shooter incident,” “shooter,” “perpetrator,” “suspect,” or similarly fuzzy expressions which do not reflect negatively on the Constitutionally-protected status of firearms. Minimize use of the term “gunman” ... the more generic “shooter” should be used instead, as it implies that the victim might have been shot with a bow and arrow, blowgun dart, or the like.)

7a. If the suspect is Muslim, use "terrorist." 

7b. If the suspect is Christian/White, use "lone wolf" and cite "mental illness" or "troubled past" as motivating factors

7c. If the suspect is Black, use “gang member.”

7d. If the shooter is Mexican/Latino, use “illegal immigrant” or “alien,” regardless of the actual citizenship status; “gang member” may also be used.

8. Congress takes no action other than to vote against funding for mental health care. 

8a. NRA increases donations to members of Congress just in case.

9. Ensure at least five copies of this checklist are on hand at all times.

That's all. Hug your children when they leave the house, duck at loud noises, and put kevlar clothing on your Christmas wish list. Nothing else will get done, anyhow.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

October marches on, Halloween draws nearer, and it's time for our next poetic salute to the season ...

Theme in Yellow

By Carl Sandburg

I spot the hills

With yellow balls in autumn.

I light the prairie cornfields

Orange and tawny gold clusters

And I am called pumpkins.

On the last of October

When dusk is fallen

Children join hands

And circle round me

Singing ghost songs

And love to the harvest moon;

I am a jack-o'-lantern

With terrible teeth

And the children know

I am fooling.

Do they really know you're fooling?

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Please, just make it stop ... 

Nearly 200 improperly stored bodies were recovered from a Colorado funeral home after neighbors complained of foul odors; a judge in Washington County, Maryland, has died after being shot in the driveway of his home; a new pepper known as "Pepper X" has has been certified as the world's hottest pepper, measuring a staggering 2.69 million on the Scoville Heat Scale ... the previous champion, the Carolina Reaper, measured only a measly 1.64 million units; disgraced attorney Sidney Powell has pleaded guilty in her trial for attempting to interfere on behalf of Der Furor with election results in Georgia; in the face of multiple foreign and domestic crises, the House of Representatives adjourned for the weekend on Friday after raging representational bully Jim Jordan failed for a third time to be elected Speaker and was forced to withdraw from consideration in a closed-door GOP vote; and in Warsaw (Poland?), police arrested a hapless thief who planned to plunder a clothing store by posing as a mannequin in the window until the store employees locked up and left.

This is week four of our annual Cartoon Saturday salute to the Halloween season. Our first two weeks celebrated Giant Beasts and The Headless Horseman; today, we turn our gaze on the brainless, wandering dead ... no, not MAGAts - Zombies. 

Circuses have the clown car ... Congress has the Republicans ... and zombies have the Clown Grave ...

Yes, this would be me ... the early night part, not the work part ...

You have to be even more careful when checking out the zombie women ...

Zombie-ing isn't all fun and games ...

Awwwww ...

Another reason why zombies have trouble driving ...

Wow ... that's worse than me ...

Batter up ... or is it down? ... I've lost track ...

Another specialized legal arena ...

It was a new rule pushed through by dead Republicans ...

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday continues our annual salute to the Halloween season - see you then.

Bilbo

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2023

Not the least question in my mind this time ... the tinfoil and toilet paper crown goes to one of the most deserving (if I can use that word) ass clowns of recent memory.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the award for 

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2023

is presented, with the usual flatulent blare of trumpets and frantic waving of silly flags, to

Representative Jim Jordan (R, OH-4)

This is Mr Jordan's fourth Ass Clown Award - he has won three previous awards; two on his own (December 2019 Right-Cheek and July 2022 Left-Cheek), plus a third (March 2023 Left-Cheek) shared with fellow Representatives James Comer and Bryan Steil. At least there's one area in which he's an overachiever.

When I wrote the first draft of this post on October 17th, Mr Jordan had just lost - by a larger than expected margin - his first vote to replace the unceremoniously booted Kevin McCarthy as the Speaker of the House. On October 18th, Mr Jordan lost a second vote by an even larger margin. Early on the afternoon of October 19th, it was reported that Jordan was "pausing" his campaign and backing a tentative plan to grant a few additional powers to acting Speaker Patrick McHenry through January 3rd, while remaining the "speaker designee" and reserving the option to hold a speaker vote at any time. But less than an hour later, Mr Jordan was telling the assembled media that he was not giving up his campaign and would work to win over his opponents and press for additional votes.

Regardless of the need to get the House of Representatives back to business as soon as possible*, I can think of few things as terrifying for the nation as a thundering ignoramus like Jim Jordan elected to the position which places him second in line of succession to the Presidency**. 

There are many reasons why Jim Jordan should not be in any position of government responsibility, much less Speaker of the House, but five of the most compelling were summarized in the devastating article An Insult to America by noted historian Steven Beschloss. Let's begin with those ...

1. He was a major figure in Republican efforts to overturn the results of the 2020 election ... an effort that began with his insistence months in advance - before a single vote had been cast - that the election would be stolen.

2. He has employed his "Select Subcommittee on the Weaponization of Government" to attack the President and the Democratic Party, and to unconstitutionally and illegally interfere with state-level prosecutors investigating alleged crimes committed by Der Furor.

3. Although Mr Jordan has been in Congress for 16 years, he has never authored or sponsored a single piece of legislation that has become law, and has been ranked as one of the least-effective Republican legislators by the Center for Effective Lawmaking. His time has been spent on flame-throwing and peddling conspiracy theories, and he has been described as a "legislative terrorist."

4. When Mr Jordan was an assistant wrestling coach at Ohio State University from 1986 to 1994, he failed to speak out about the rampant sexual abuse of his wrestlers by a team physician - abuse that was an open secret on the campus. He continues to deny all knowledge of the abuse, but continues to be accused by members of the team who discount his denials.

And finally ...

5. Mr Jordan is a nasty, aggressive bully. One need only watch his antics as he berates and interrupts witnesses at hearings to see that he is more interested in throwing his weight around and generating sound bites than in accomplishing anything legislatively useful. His shouting and ranting at witnesses plays well to an aggrieved conservative base besotted by hyperconservative media, but accomplishes nothing other than to prevent forward movement on important issues***.

I would also point out that - despite Mr Jordan's vanishingly thin record of accomplishment in Congress, Der Furor presented him with the prestigious Presidential Medal of Freedom a mere five days after a howling mob egged on by Der Furor and supported by Jordan stormed the Capitol in an attempt to stop the certification of the 2020 election. The citation that accompanied the award is a masterpiece of inane political doublespeak and blatant historical revisionism.

Why the people of Ohio's fourth district continue to send this useless buffoon to Congress as their representative is beyond me. I would challenge anyone to name anything - any single thing - that Jim Jordan has accomplished in the House for his constituents and the nation. Good luck with that.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2023, is Ohio Representative and House Speaker wannabe Jim Jordan - one of the most frightening things on the horizon in this Halloween season.

Have a good day and be sure to (1) register and vote, and (2) come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when we focus on the walking dead ... any of whom would be more effective in Congress than Jim Jordan.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* There's no federal budget, the Middle East is in flames, Russia is still pounding on Ukraine, there's a never-ending immigration crisis, climate change is threatening our economy and infrastructure, and there are probably a lot of post offices that need to be named. 

** Obviously, a second election of Der Furor would be far worse, and would be apocalyptic for democracy and the nation, but let's worry about one thing at a time.

*** I'm reminded of an insult I once read in an article on slang expressions used in the German Bundeswehr (army): "Du bist der Bremsklotz am Siegeswagen der Nation!" - "You are the brake [shoe] on the national victory train!"

 

Musical Sunday

Our annual Musical Sunday salute to Halloween continues with this classic old-school musical cartoon titled "The Skeleton Dance" ...

Bwa, ha, HAAAAAA!!

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts - scary and otherwise - coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

October is a scary enough month, but there are a lot of people working hard to make it terrifying ... 

A female black bear named Grazer has won the honors during Fat Bear Week in Alaska, beating out #2 finisher Chunk by a whopping vote total of 108,321 to 23,134 votes; GOP House members continued to flail helplessly, unable to conduct ordinary business or agree on a proposed candidate to replace the unceremoniously ousted Kevin McCarthy; the humanitarian disaster continues to unfold in Gaza in the wake of the unspeakably brutal Hamas attack on Israel last weekend; superstar performer Taylor Swift seems to be working on a one-person solution to the economic slowdown, generating hundreds of millions of dollars to boost the fortunes of tour stops; and in a move sure to ease tensions between supporters of Israel and of the Palestinians, the French government on Thursday banned pro-Palestinian demonstrations across the country. What could possibly go wrong?

For our second Halloween-themed Cartoon Saturday of 2023, we pay a visit to the legendary Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow ... 

Yes, that would piss me off, too ...

Monsters can have a good laugh, too ...

Uh, oh ...

He'll need it if he's running for Speaker of the House ...

I can relate ...

It's going to his head ...

Sometimes, the latest tech just doesn't work for everybody ...

Is it any wonder? ...

Hope he makes a good choice ...

Well, that head's got as much in it as the jack-o-lantern ...

And that's it for our second Halloween-themed Cartoon Saturday for October ... I hope it balanced laughs and shivers.

Have a good day and a great weekend, and be sure to come back tomorrow for Musical Sunday and a classically spooky animated offering ... if you dare.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

It's the second Friday of October, 2023, Friday the 13th, and the first October installment of Great Moments in Editing and Signage. It's also National No-Bra Day, but that's another issue ...

It would probably help fill the pews ...

Actually, I've always found a well-prepared and presented sirloin steak to be a powerful aphrodisiac ...

Just in time for Halloween!! ...

Wait, what?? ...

How about never ... does that work for you? ...

Well, duh ...

About that table in the haunted barn ...

For those times when she really, really wants to go commando ...

If Jim Jordan is the coach, it's probably safer ...

For the MAGAt who wants to remain stylish while being able to receive the latest orders from the mother ship ...

And that's it - your latest collection of editorial and signage ya-ha's. I hope you enjoyed them. 

Have a good National No-Bra Day, and be sure to come back tomorrow for our second Halloween season Cartoon Saturday - a salute to the Headless Horseman. See you then!

Bilbo