Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Guest Post


Oh, it's you again. Hello.

It's me, Lucy, Bilbo's grandcat.

I haven't written anything here for a while (I've got a lot of napping and supervising to do), but I noticed that last week Clara, Bilbo's granddog, managed to sneak in a guest post while I wasn't looking. Now, Clara's okay for a dog, but she's not the crunchiest biscuit in the package, if you know what I mean. While I have to grudgingly admit that I agree with everything she said, I don't think it's worth my effort to say anything new, since you haven't listened to anything I've said before ... therefore, I'm just going to repeat what I told you in this space two years ago (I will, though, in deference to Bilbo, use a euphemism I know won't spin up his blood pressure):

"How's Der Furor working out for you? Has he learned to speak in complete sentences yet? You could probably have elected Clara and done better. Geez, the way he claims credit for everything, I'm surprised he hasn't boasted yet about how he beat that British king back in the 1700s. The way I see it, all he's done is undo what that Obama person did, while deliberately ignoring or insulting everybody but the people who already think he's the cat's meow*.

"As much as I hate to say it, Der Furor is pretty cat-like. He's naturally self-centered and overbearing, ignores everyone that can't do him immediate favors, and likes to deliberately knock things over just to see them fall. The major difference is that we don't feel the need to brag and send juvenile little messages to remind everyone of how clever and powerful we are. We just know. We watch, think, and plan. We don't waste energy. We don't go out of our way to make enemies.

"In short, we're a whole lot smarter than the humans you've picked to be your leaders."


And by the way, did you watch that mess of a "debate" last night? I've heard alley cats squalling that made a better impression. Someone described it as a cat fight, but on behalf of cats everywhere, I'm insulted.

Well, I could go on, but as you humans say, you've made your bed and now you have to lie in it. There's no point in wasting my time writing more, because you obviously didn't listen to me before and I've got better things to do. All I'll say is that I hope you think a little more before you do this voting thing in a few weeks.

Have whatever kind of day you want. I'm a cat, and I still don't care. Bilbo will be back later with his own thoughts. Until then, meow.

Lucy

* He insults and demeans them, too ... he just does it in private.

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


New month, new gems ...

I suppose it's an honest mistake ... 



I wish they all would ...


The doublest of entendres ...


How much did that child weigh, again? ...


Interesting juxtaposition of articles ...


Well, yes, because 2020 ...


I really don't know what to say about this ...


Ummm ...


Several people, including Mike, sent me this picture. It's clearly an entree from the Department of Justice cafeteria ...


The late George Carlin offered this forecast in his classic "Wonderful WINO" routine, but now you have it in writing! ...


There you go - the first set of Great Moments in Editing and Signage for the new month. They should hold you over until tomorrow, when the first of our annual Halloween-themed Cartoon Saturday collections appears. More thoughts then.

Bilbo


Sunday, September 27, 2020

Poetry Sunday


This past Tuesday was the first day of autumn, and we greeted it here in NoVa with pleasant temperatures and clear skies. Autumn is a wonderful time of year, with its cool days, crisp nights, and changing colors, and yet it marks the beginning of our transition to the cold and darkness of winter. Here's a poem that celebrates the bittersweet coming of autumn ...

Autumn Song 

Little flower, you live in constant danger:
Likely to be crushed under foot or torn by wind,
Sun-scorched or gobbled by a goat.
These October days streaked with regrets and tears
Are like you, brindled flower, as they bloom
And fade, harried by heat as much as by the cold.
Our ship sets out to sea, not with ivory or gold
In the hold, but with fragrant apples for cargo. Just so
My days are not heavy but delicate, fleeting and vain,
Leaving behind the sweet, faint scent of renown
That quickly will vanish like the taste of fruit
Passing from the tongues and hearts of everyone.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, September 26, 2020

Cartoon Saturday

 

Oy. Just, oy ...

Der Furor refused to commit to accepting the results of a "free and fair" election if he loses, leaving it to himself to define "free and fair;" in Kentucky, no one has been held liable for the death of Breonna Taylor during a botched raid in which she was killed by police officers executing a "no-knock" warrant in search of her former boyfriend; a man accused of shooting two policemen in Louisville, Kentucky, amid racial justice protests has been ordered to be held in jail on $1 million bail; in an attempt to distract attention from the GOPs dismal record on health care reform and shore up his standing with elderly Americans, Der Furor announced a plan to spend an estimated $7 billion to send a check for $200 to aid in drug costs to between 30 and 60 million Medicare recipients ... in true fashion for this administration, the proposal contained no details of how the giveaway would be funded, how it would work, and exactly who would receive the checks; and police in Vietnam reported finding about 320,000 used condoms that had been cleaned and repackaged for sale as new.

This week, because 2020 is getting pretty hairy, how about a collection of cartoons about everyone's favorite long-haired lady, Rapunzel ...

Dad thinks it may be time for her to move out ...


It's important to be on time ...


Uh, oh ...


The translation is: "It's not a windmill ... Rapunzel is listening to death metal" ...


It's a letdown of sorts ...


Rapunzel's not home, but ...


Rapunzel gets adventurous ...


He's probably charging extra for the job ...


Well, that explains some things ...


It's a minor ... okay, major ... embarrassment ...


And that's it for this hairy week of a very hairy month of a very, very hairy year ... hope you enjoyed it.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, on Poetry Sunday. See you then.

Bilbo

Friday, September 25, 2020

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2020


The last two weeks have gone so far off the rails that it's been all but impossible to single out an individual for this period's award, but in spite of all that, two really big chunks have floated to the surface of the Swirling Cesspool of Ass Clownery.

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown Award for September, 2020


is presented to

Senator Lindsey Graham (R, SC) 
~ Fourth Award* ~


and

Senator Mitt Romney (R, UT)



The raw hypocrisy and shameless power-grabbing on the part of Der Furor and his enablers in the GOP was breathtaking this past week as Republicans raced to ignore their previous pious posturing about not making Supreme Court appointments in an election year and jam through a replacement for the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg before the November election, which Der Furor stands a good chance of losing**. Not a single Republican reflected anything close to honor and decency in the race to cement a hard-right SCOTUS majority, but the most amazingly blatant and shameless hypocrisy was demonstrated by Senator Graham, who in 2016, while joining with his GOP colleagues in refusing even to consider President Obama's nomination of Merrick Garland to the court, said this:

“I want you to use my words against me. If there’s a Republican president in 2016 and a vacancy occurs in the last year of the first term, you can say Lindsey Graham said let’s let the next president, whoever it might be, make that nomination."

This week, at a GOP fundraiser, he said this:

"I will be leading the charge to make sure that President Trump's nominee has a hearing, goes to the United States Senate for a vote, because that is my job and I believe I am doing what the people of South Carolina want me to do in this regard."

But not only Senator Graham demonstrated world-class moral and political flexibility. He was joined by Utah Senator Mitt Romney, who had been viewed as a potential check on Der Furor, who issued this statement:

“My decision regarding a Supreme Court nomination is not the result of a subjective test of ‘fairness’ which, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. It is based on the immutable fairness of following the law, which in this case is the Constitution and precedent. The historical precedent of election year nominations is that the Senate generally does not confirm an opposing party’s nominee but does confirm a nominee of its own.
    
“The Constitution gives the President the power to nominate and the Senate the authority to provide advice and consent on Supreme Court nominees. Accordingly, I intend to follow the Constitution and precedent in considering the President’s nominee. If the nominee reaches the Senate floor, I intend to vote based upon their qualifications.”

If you're looking for world-class examples of utter hypocrisy and spineless bowing to political expediency, look no further than these two moral and political gumbies.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham and Utah Senator Mitt Romney are jointly designated as the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2020. It's a dishonor well deserved.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... you need the laughs now more than ever.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo


** Assuming he is unable to disrupt the process and results of the election in his favor.

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Dog's Eye View


Hi, there! It's me again, Clara, Bilbo and Agnes's granddog.


If it looks like I'm a little tired, it's because I am. I'm having a hard time being an upbeat, friendly (but fiercely protective) dog when a lot of you humans are acting like such idiots.

I mean, really.

I've had to wear the Cone of Shame several times, for days at a time, and you're griping about having to wear a simple cloth mask to go grocery shopping? Give me a break!

And I think a lot of you would benefit from earning a certificate from a good obedience school. For pete's sake, you've got doctors who have spent their entire lives studying diseases. When they tell you you should do something to protect yourself and others, you probably ought to listen to them instead of pitching hissy fits in stores and bitching about how it's your god-given Constitutional right to ignore professional advice and put other people in danger.

And how on earth can you take this Der Furor person (that's not really his name, but Bilbo refuses to say it out loud) seriously? Believe me, if that person were a dog, nobody would be calling him a good boy. I hear some of you say stupid things like, "I don't like what he says, but I like what he does" ... that's sort of like saying you don't like how much your dog barks, but at least he doesn't poop on the carpet.

So, yes, I'm tired. I love Bilbo and his whole family, and like any good dog I would lay down my life to protect them. Some of you, on the other hand, I'd cross the street against heavy traffic to bite.

You're supposed to be the top life form on the planet. Act like it.

That's all for now. Wash your paws, wear your masks, and start acting like you appreciate and care about each other as much as we dogs care about you.

Woof.

Clara

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Musical Sunday


I shared this marvelous video of a wonderful song by Charlie Dore a few days ago on my Facebook page, and wanted to get it out to a wider audience. She has matured as a songwriter and a singer from the first time I encountered her many years ago via her hit song, "Pilot of the Airwaves," and knows how to craft complex and intriguing lyrics ...


Yes, it's true ... to Der Furor and his enablers, you and I are just ... collateral.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, September 19, 2020

Cartoon Saturday


Just when you thought 2020 couldn't get any worse ...

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has died at the age of 87; demonstrating the most shameless hypocrisy, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell announced within hours of Justice Ginsburg's death that "President Trump’s nominee will receive a vote on the floor of the United States Senate"; Pope Francis has authorized a new Vatican think tank that seeks to prevent the Mafia and organized crime groups from exploiting the image of the Virgin Mary; alleging ‘left-wing indoctrination’ in schools, Der Furor says he will create a national commission to push more ‘pro-American’ history; and in Enid, Oklahoma, police arrested a woman after a high-speed chase ... she told arresting officers she had to have a bowel movement, and it was her birthday.

Having to spend so much time in quarantine and limiting our outside contact this year has led to lots of time for reading ... so why not a collection of cartoons about books and reading for this week, eh?

If only weight loss were that simple ...


Where else would you stock those books? ...


Every reader has at least one book that was this good ...


I think Der Furor's administration would benefit from awarding a few of these medals ...


A lesson many children of this century need to learn ...


Marketing "The Inferno" ...


I can see this happening to me ...


So, who wrote stories for ancient Greek children? ...


Good question ... how does an author sign an e-book? ...


You had to see this one coming ...


And that's it for this week's collection of Covid-era cartoons about books and reading ... I hope you enjoyed them. Now you can go back to your own reading.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Musical Sunday returns. See you then.

Bilbo

Friday, September 18, 2020

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


And here we go again ...

Someone really ought to check on ad placement ...


What, two weren't enough? ...


So, what do I use it for? ...


Well, it's honest ...


How can you pass up a deal like that? ...


Good! I hate ice made from phony water ...


Truth in advertising can be a bitch, eh ...


Sometimes, you really need the support of your local police ...


Crime wave ...


Aha!! ...


There you go ... another collection of editorial and signage gems. My attempt at helping you wrap up another week of economic, climatic, political, and social disaster with a smile ... or, at least, a grimace.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Ass Clown Special Achievement Award for September, 2020


Last Friday I awarded the Right-Cheek Ass Clown award for this month to Attorney General William Barr. It was his third award, and richly deserved. But while the award was righteous, I agonized a great deal over the selection because, as I noted at the time, there were so many well-qualified candidates. So many, in fact, that I have decided - for the second time in the history of this award - to present an extra, out-of-cycle award.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, 

The Ass Clown Special Achievement Award
for
September, 2020


Is presented (for the seventh time, either as an individual or a shared award) to

The Republican Party


The behavior of Der Furor - his coarseness, his contempt for the law and the dignity of his office, and his utter lack of qualifications the position he holds - is offensive to millions of Americans of all races, religions, and economic backgrounds. But no matter how outrageous his conduct and no matter the damage he inflicts on our country and our standing in the world, he continues to be supported and enabled by a Republican party interested only in the perpetuation of its conservative agenda ... an agenda that is increasingly at odds with the needs and desires of an evolving American population. As long as the GOP is able to churn out battalions of young, deeply conservative judges in assembly line fashion, slash taxes on the wealthy and big business, and eliminate regulations that promote workplace safety and a clean and healthy environment, Republicans are perfectly willing to let Der Furor get away with behavior and conduct which, had it been done by a Democratic president, would have them screaming bloody murder until their heads exploded.

This is, you may recall, the party which ignored its responsibility to justice and the nation by stubbornly refusing to call a single witness, subpoena a single document, or say so much as a potentially critical word about the defendant during Der Furor's impeachment trial.

I am not the first person to note the moral bankruptcy of the Republican party, nor will I be the last. The willingness of Republicans to cast away conservative principles in support of a manifestly unfit president is a shameful blot on the party that still has the nerve to invoke the name of presidents like Lincoln and Eisenhower. The Republicans have aided and abetted crude and unpresidential behavior that has caused damage it will take decades to repair ... if, indeed, it can be repaired at all. They have earned the disgust and condemnation of Americans who still believe in the Constitution, the rule of law, and the dignity of the office of the president.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the second-ever Ass Clown Special achievement award is presented to the Republican Party. The nation needs a party that can represent the traditional conservative values of prudent and responsible government ... but today's GOP is not it.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Note: the last award presented to the GOP was in April of this year. You can go back and read it here; I should have just copied it into this one.

Sunday, September 13, 2020

Poetry Sunday


From my childhood I recall the Catholic Ash Wednesday ritual in which the priest makes the sign of the cross on your forehead while intoning, "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you will return." This poem by Danusha Laméris thinks about the ubiquity and permanence of dust.

Dust
by Danusha Laméris

It covers everything, fine powder,
the earth’s gold breath falling softly
on the dark wood dresser, blue ceramic bowls,
picture frames on the wall. It wafts up
from canyons, carried on the wind,
on the wings of birds, in the rough fur of animals
as they rise from the ground. Sometimes it’s copper,
sometimes dark as ink. In great storms,
it even crosses the sea. Once
when my grandmother was a girl,
a strong gale lifted red dust from Africa
and took it thousands of miles away
to the Caribbean where people swept it
from their doorsteps, kept it in small jars,
reminder of that other home.
Gandhi said, “The seeker after truth
should be humbler than the dust.”
Wherever we go, it follows.
I take a damp cloth, swipe the windowsills,
the lamp’s taut shade, run a finger
over the dining room table.
And still, it returns, settling in the gaps
between the floorboards, gilding the edges
of unread books. What could be more loyal,
more lonely, and unsung?

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Put off the dusting until tomorrow.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, September 12, 2020

Cartoon Saturday


I got my flu shot last week. Now I wish I could get vaccinated against 2020 ...

Brian Murphy, the former head of the intelligence branch of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), claimed in a whistleblower complaint that top DHS officials ordered agency intelligence analysts to downplay the threat of violent white supremacy and of Russian election interference; fires destroyed Greece's largest migrant camp, located at Moria on the island of Lesbos, leaving nearly 13,000 people without shelter; a priest in Wisconsin told Catholics they would “face the fires of Hell” if they voted for Democrats; Dame Diana Rigg, acclaimed star of stage and screen and recently remembered as tart-tongued Olenna Tyrell in "Game of Thrones," died at 82; and although the book will not be officially released until next week, excerpts and supporting audio recordings from Bob Woodward's book "Rage" paint a devastating picture of Der Furor's incompetence and self-absorption in the face of the Covid-19 pandemic. 

This week, in honor of the way this misbegotten year seems to be going, I thought a collection of cartoons about the trials and tribulations of Sisyphus would be appropriate ...

It definitely feels like this sometimes ...


Some people just can't leave work behind ...


I know this feeling ...


Zeus must use that "like" button a lot ...


Uh, oh ...


It's a thought ...


If, like me, you went to a Catholic grade school, you can relate ...


He should have left the kids at home ...


It's a valid question ...


Everybody's gotta start someplace ...


And there you are - a very apropos collection of cartoons about surviving the Endless Year.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo