Friday, March 13, 2020

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for March, 2020


The challenge of dealing with the "novel coronavirus" has caused the number of potential Ass Clown awardees to increase exponentially. From claims that the virus is harmless and simply a ploy by "Democrat politicians and deep staters at the CDC" to harm the president* to silly idiots who frantically strip store shelves of toilet paper**, the Covid-19 scare has smoked out some of the craziest of the crazy. I was even tempted to make an exception and present yet another award to Der Furor, but why waste the dishonor on a person who is immune to it? And so it is that we present

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown Award
for
March, 2020


to

Representative Matt Gaetz (R, FL-1)


Grandstanding douchebag Matt Gaetz, a fervent supporter of Der Furor who is always fond of silly stunts to get attention, outdid himself last week when, in an effort to mock worries about the spreading coronavirus epidemic, he ostentatiously wore a huge gas mask onto the House floor. The stunt backfired a few days later when a constituent in his home district died from the virus, and Gaetz himself was forced to self-quarantine after learning he'd interacted with an individual at last month's Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) who had been infected with coronavirus.

Nothing says "I'm a useless political hack" like mocking the actions needed to cope with a deadly pandemic.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for March, 2020, is Florida Representative Matt Gaetz. If stupidity were a contagious virus, he'd be its Typhoid Mary.

Have a good day, wash your hands frequently, don't touch your face, cough into your sleeve, avoid unnecessary personal contact, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. It hasn't been quarantined yet.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Who's doing quite a good job of shooting himself in his own feet, thank you very much.

** Because what else would you wrap around your head if protective masks sell out?

3 comments:

Mike said...

Gaetz will have to share his award today with many people that I know that are going, "meh! no big deal."

eViL pOp TaRt said...

He has attention whore stamped all over him!

allenwoodhaven said...

He certainly earned his award. He's been deserving for a long time but there are so many clowns he's been lost in the shuffle.