We wearily approach the end of the Year of Our Lord 2020 ... and our lord is welcome to it. It is also time to announce the last semi-monthly ass clown awardee for the month and the final awardee for this miserable year. Because I'm just getting tired of the whole thing, let's get right to it ...
The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for December, 2020
is
Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton
As Der Furor carried on with his endless and ludicrous attempts to undermine faith in American democracy and the results of the presidential election, many of his Republican enablers stepped up to help in his efforts. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton filed a lawsuit in the Supreme Court against Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, claiming that those states exploited the COVID-19 pandemic to justify ignoring federal and state election laws and unlawfully enact last-minute changes which skewing the results of the 2020 election. His suit - supported by Der Furor, a staggering 126 GOP members of Congress, and the attorneys general of seventeen states Der Furor carried in the election - claimed that the four named states - all of which were carried by President-Elect Biden - flooded their people with unlawful ballot applications and ballots while ignoring legal requirements as to how they were received, evaluated and counted.
Mr Paxton's lawsuit was long on lofty rhetoric and woefully short on evidence and substance (an election law expert described Paxton's filing as "... a press release masquerading as a lawsuit" and " ... utter garbage. Dangerous garbage, but garbage"). More than 50 other Republican lawsuits at the state and national level had already been rejected by the courts, and this one was no exception - in a two-paragraph decision, the Supreme Court refused to hear the case because Texas lacked the legal standing to file it ... a reasonable position, as the Constitution allows each state to manage its own elections, and grants no power to other states (or the federal government) to interfere in those elections. Two of the justices (Alito and Thomas, neither one appointed by Der Furor) did not dissent from the rejection, but said they'd have heard the case ... and then dismissed it.
In a year that has seen unprecedented challenges to American democracy from our elected officials and their fanatical supporters, we can take solace in the fact that our courts - no matter how much Der Furor and the GOP attempted to skew the partisan background of judges at all levels - held fast in the face of historic pressure. It is noteworthy that the un-American authoritarianism rejected by a record number of Americans in this election has been equally rejected by the courts and by dedicated public servants at all levels. On January 20th, regardless of any ongoing chicanery and noisemaking by die-hard GOP partisans, America will once again have adult leadership ... and ridiculous ass clowns like Mr Paxton will take their seats in the dumpster of history.
Ladies and gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for December, 2020 - the last to be named in this misbegotten year - is Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton.
Have a good day, and don't forget that voting for the 2020 Ass Clown of the Year began this past Wednesday ... vote early and vote often for your candidate! The results so far are as follows:
Der Furor - 135
Rudy Giuliani - 30
"All of the Above" - 15
Mitch McConnell - 10
One early voter (yes, that would be you, Mike) wanted to cast 74,000,000 votes for Der Furor and 74,000,001 for Mitch McConnell, but decided after consulting me for a ruling to simply cast smaller numbers of votes more often. For my part, I didn't want to get sued by every crazy Republican on Earth if Der Furor didn't win.
See you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday - more thoughts then.
Bilbo
3 comments:
Our dipshit Attorney General joined in the Texas lawsuit. I sent him a 'WTF' email.
Good choice! He had nothing to go on.
Great choice; Paxton did truly rise to the steaming surface of the ass-clown cesspool of candidates. I heard that he may be angling for a pardon. That's a long line...
My cat and I were discussing the nominees and he cast 5 for Mike Pence and 10 for Louie Gohmert. He can't believe the humans such as that have gotten so far, especially Louie.
My parents would, if they were alive, vote 10 each for The Republican party as it's fallen so far from what they knew it to stand for.
I cast 10 for William Barr for abetting so much garbage and 10 for Mitch McConnell for blocking so much progress. If I could, I'd give Der Furor negative votes so he can lose another election but I don't want to subvert Democracy like he does. Instead I'll cast 10 more votes for All of the Above.
Post a Comment