Voting Is Now Open for the 2020 Ass Clown of the Year

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today is the official start of the selection campaign for

The 2020 Ass Clown of the Year

By Friday, December 18th (announcement of the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for December, and the last biweekly award for the year), I will have named 28 individual awardees in 2020, all of whom are eligible for the annual award. Of course, if there's someone I missed or someone you like better, you are free to vote for the write-in candidate of your choice. Here are the basic ground rules for the Ass Clown of the Year voting, unchanged from previous years except as noted:

- Chicago Rules apply: you may vote as many times as you want, for as many candidates as you want. You may cast votes on behalf of yourself, your family members, your friends, your pets, your friends' pets, or anyone else, living or dead. In the interest of fairness, I ask only that you not cast more than ten votes at any one time for any one candidate ... just vote more often.

- You may vote for any of the 28 biweekly and special award winners (the first 27 are listed below, and the last will be announced in the blog on December 18th), or for anyone else you wish. SPECIAL NOTE: the lifetime achievement award presented to Der Furor in 2017 was revoked in July of this year, making him once again eligible for selection.

- You need not be legally authorized to vote in the United States. Laws don't matter to the current administration, why should they matter to you?

- No ID is required. If you are concerned that the Russians (or the Chinese, or the mythical Ukrainians, or one or the other political party, or the "Deep State") will manipulate the results to undermine the integrity of the award without such identification, consider that many fanatical supporters of Der Furor are already convinced that elections are rigged and will assume that any IDs presented will be phony, anyhow. And in any case, integrity is a quaintly outdated concept in today's political world in which "facts" require no proof or connection to reality. I worry more about my fellow citizens than I do about any external actors.

- Finally, in response to a suggestion from long-time reader Allan U, I am offering a new voting option this year: because the number and "quality" of potential awardees is so staggeringly high, you have the option to vote for ALL OF THE ABOVE, rather than a single winner.

- Votes will be accepted from now until 11:59 PM on December 31st. You may vote by leaving a comment on any blog post between now and then; by sending an e-mail to der_blogmeister(ATSYMBOL)yahoo.com; by sending me a PM or leaving a comment on Facebook if we are connected there; or from a distance of at least six feet if we should happen to meet. If you choose to cast your votes in person, be advised that your candidate's chances of winning are enhanced if the votes are accompanied by adult beverages and tasty snacks. Yes, it's bribery, but in today's political environment that's okay unless the other side is doing it.

I will provide periodic updates on the balloting, and will announce the 2020 Ass Clown of the Year in this space on Wednesday, January 1st, 2021.

Here are links to the first 27 Ass Clown awardees for 2020, in case you want to go back and review the citations:

1/3/20 (Right Cheek) - Wisconsin State Rep Scott Allen (R)

1/17/20 (Left Cheek) - White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham

1/20/20 (Special Award) - Secretary of State Mike Pompeo (third award)

1/31/20 (On Crack) - Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts and Professor Alan Dershowitz (joint award)

2/14/20 (Right Cheek) - Attorney General William Barr (second award)

2/28/20 (Left Cheek) - Vice President Mike Pence (third award)

3/13/20 (Right Cheek) - Representative Matt Gaetz (R, FL-1)

3/27/20 (Left Cheek) - Senator Rand Paul (R, KY)

4/10/20 (Right Cheek) - The Republican Party (fifth award)

4/24/20 (Left Cheek) - Las Vegas Mayor Caroline Goodman

5/8/20 (Right Cheek) - The Screaming Idiot

5/22/20 (Left Cheek) - Secretary of State Mike Pompeo (fourth award)

6/5/20 (Right Cheek) - Senator Tom Cotton (R, AR)

6/19/20 (Left Cheek) - John Bolton

7/3/20 (Right Cheek) - The Karens

7/17/20 (Left Cheek) - Der Furor (eleventh award; lifetime achievement award rescinded)

7/31/20 (On Crack) - Representative Louis Gohmert (R, TX-1)

8/14/20 (Right Cheek) - The Attendees at the 2020 Sturgis Motorcycle Rally

8/28/20 (Left Cheek) - Secretary of State Mike Pompeo (fifth award)

9/11/20 (Right Cheek) - Attorney General William Barr (third award)

9/16/20 (Special Award) - The Republican Party (sixth award; special achievement)

9/25/20 (Left Cheek) - Senators Lindsey Graham (R, SC) and Mitt Romney (R, UT)

10/9/20 (Right Cheek) - Vice President Mike Pence (fourth award)

10/23/20 (Left Cheek) - Attorney General William Barr (fourth award)

11/6/20 (Right Cheek) - The GOP's Army of Lawyers

11/20/20 (Left Cheek) - Rudy Giuliani (third award)

12/4/20 (Right Cheek) - Michael Flynn

It says something about the "quality" of this year's nominees that Kentucky Senator "Moscow Mitch" McConnell, who was named Ass Clown of the Year for the last two years, did not rise to the level of ass-clownery needed to win this award even once in 2020. It also says something that I found it necessary to present out-of-cycle special awards not once, but twice.

Vote early, vote often, and watch for updates on the progress of the voting. Let your voice be heard. #StopTheStupid.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo