Cartoon Saturday

As if the Halloween season weren't scary enough ...

Israel and Hamas have agreed to the first stage of a Gaza peace agreement; Der Furor's Personal Vengeance Tour continued with indictments of former FBI Director James Comey and New York Attorney General Letitia James; the federal government shutdown continued as the Office of Management and Budget announced "substantial" firings of federal employees; the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded - to the anger of Der Furor and his acolytes - to Venezuelan democracy activist María Corina Machado; at least 19 people are missing following a huge explosion at an explosives plant in Tennessee; and according to media reports, Zimbabwean opposition lawmaker Desire Moyo was killed when the vehicle in which he was traveling hit an elephant.

This week, the second Cartoon Saturday of the Halloween season, features cartoons about the original walking dead: mummies.

My local Giant supermarket runs a close second ...

Oh, the horror!

I'll bet he always wanted to say that ...

A truly brilliant short-cut, lost to history ...

A double pun!

Mummy practical jokes ...

Uh, oh ...

I can only imagine ...

Well, what else would he recommend?

A matter of perspective ...

And yes, that's a wrap for this week's cartoon tribute to mummies - I hope it took some of the sour edge off the news.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday continues our salute to the Halloween season by exhuming a classic from the great Edgar Allan Poe. See you then.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

First collection for October! Bring 'em on ...

I'm not sure what an "ass fish" is, but I'm not sure I want to know ...

Who wants a Gary-colored portable toilet?

You just can't trust those cats ...

Not suspicious, just Canadian. But we won't have to worry about them much longer, as Der Furor is driving them away ...

I wonder if this was Ernie K. Doe's inspiration ...

Um ... no, thanks ...

They're all wearing their Freudian slips ...

Served at dinners for OB-GYN conventions ...

Vin de Merde! It's what to drink with those ass fish you bought ...

Buy now, so it's well-established by the next Naked Gardening Day!

And that's it for our first October collection ... I hope it gave you a chuckle in these dark times.

Have a good day and be sure to come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday's tribute to the original walking dead - mummies! More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Ass Clown Special Award

As you know, I usually present two Ass Clown awards each month - Right-Cheek and Left-Cheek - with a third, the On-Crack Award - presented in months when there are three Fridays available between our Great Moments in Editing and Signage Posts. Sometimes, ass clownery of unusual distinction requires me to present special awards outside the regular schedule, as I did with Der Furor and Pete Hegseth last month after their rambling and disgraceful diatribes to the Brass-o-Rama, and as we do again today.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we present this 

Ass Clown Special Award

to

Attorney General

Pamela Bondi

Der Furor nominated Ms Bondi to be Attorney General after his nomination of former Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz to the position was laughed down. She was certainly more qualified than the execrable Mr Gaetz, and said all the right things at her confirmation hearing, winning her job by a party-line vote of 54-46*. She has since become less an Attorney General and guardian of the rule of law than a legal attack dog in slavering service to her petty and vindictive sponsor, and this is her third Ass Clown Award**. 

This was on vivid display earlier this week when she "testified" before the Senate Judiciary Committee, where she angrily stonewalled questions about her job performance, turning them into sound bites intended to eviscerate Democratic senators who dared to question her actions. In one example, she snapped back at Senator Dick Durbin of Illinois, who had asked whether she'd been consulted before the decision to deploy federal troops to Chicago, saying, “I wish you loved Chicago as much as you hate President Trump!” 

When Senator Sheldon Whitehouse (D, RI) asked for clarification of her decision to drop the investigation into "Border Czar" Tom Homan's alleged acceptance of a $50,000 bribe, she ignored the question and instead attacked Senator Whitehouse, demanding to know why he accepted campaign donations from an associate of convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein***.

Senator Richard Blumenthal (D, CT) asked why Ms Bondi had not recused herself from a case involving a client of her old lobbying firm, Ballard Partners, and she replied: “How dare you! I am a career prosecutor. Don’t you ever challenge my integrity†.” 

After listing all the questions that Ms Bondi had refused to answer, Senator Adam Schiff (R, CA) remarked that "This is supposed to be an oversight hearing where members of Congress can get serious answers to serious questions," Ms Bondi replied, "I think you owe the president an apology for your entire career." 

Ms Bondi's complete and utter disregard for the oversight role of the Senate, coupled with her scornful and condescending insults and non-answers to the questions posed by Democratic senators (but not Republican ones) are beneath the dignity of the nation's top law enforcement official, and are a dramatic example of the debasement of public service and the disgraceful conduct of government officials who have mortgaged their honor, decency, and self-respect in service to a man who himself has no honor, decency, or respect for his office and his duty to the nation.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today's Ass Clown Special Award is presented to Attorney General Pam Bondi - a woman who has debased herself and her office, and for whom we can only pray that the price for which she sold her soul was worth it.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Senator John Fetterman of Pennsylvania, a Democrat, was the lone Democratic party vote for her confirmation.

** She was previously the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for May, 2025 and the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2025. She's quite the overachiever.

*** Mr. Whitehouse later said that a review of his campaign finance records showed that nobody by the name cited by Ms Bondi had ever contributed to his campaigns, and said that “Attorney General Bondi made up nonsense to avoid answering whether the White House border czar returned the $50,000."

† Her integrity could be challenged if it could be found.

Lost in Translation

As a person who loves language, I'm always fascinated by the ways in which we use words to convey, clarify, or obfuscate information. The way in which language is contorted by the spokespersons for Der Furor and his extreme MAGA supporters makes one wish for more reasonable and personable mouthpiece. I understand this guy is looking for a job ...

Which brings me to this meme that was posted by my friend Kathy yesterday - 

If you follow it back to the original post (the one Kathy re-posted), you can read a large number of snarky, juvenile comments, a great many of them of the "oh, yeah, so are you, lib" variety that there's no sense in responding to.

Unfortunately, there's a lot of truth in this list. There's a lot of deliberate misrepresentation of the Democrats' stance on most issues, much of it resting on cherry-picking statements or pointing to Democratic votes on poison pill issues designed to create opportunities for outrage, and virtually none of it robustly countered by the news media ... or, unfortunately, by the Democrats themselves.

Some commenters wondered if there were a meme that worked in the other direction, with snarky Democratic takes on MAGA Republican positions. I haven't seen one, but given the dismissive, angry, and often violent language of Der Furor and of the Millers, Voughts, Patels, Bondis, and Leavitts of the Right, it's hard to see how it might be sweetened into something reasonable. If this is the gawdawful radical left agenda ...

... you should ask yourself what the equivalent is on the right. And vote accordingly.

Have a good day. Look beyond the snark and see who offers the message that once made America the most admired and respected nation.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Musical Sunday

Today is the first Musical Sunday of October, and - as we did yesterday with our Cartoon Saturday dedicated to Frankenstein - we begin our musical salute to Halloween this week with "Remains of the Day," the main theme from Tim Burton's film, "The Corpse Bride" ...

It's a good song, but you probably need to ... bone up ... on your anatomy skills to really enjoy it.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

A new month brings new challenges to our sanity ...

Der Furor and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth summoned more than 800 senior military leaders to Quantico Marine Corps Base on Tuesday for a lecture on military standards and leadership, a topic on which neither man had relevant experience equivalent to the most junior member of the audience; the Treasury Department has developed, and is prepared to issue, a dollar coin with the image of Der Furor ... which would the be unlawful*; Der Furor and Israeli President Benjamin Netanyahu unveiled a detailed plan, with no input from Palestinian representatives, to end the war in Gaza; Dr Jane Goodall, the world's leading authority on chimpanzees, died at the age of 91; and in North Korea, Kim Jong Un has ordered undercover agents and neighborhood patrols to check North Korean women for ‘un-socialist’ breast implants ... before you ask - no, I don't know where you can sign up.

It's the first Saturday in October, and as we enter the Halloween season, we begin our tradition of Halloween-themed Cartoon Saturdays, starting with today's homage to Dr Frankenstein's favorite son.

I think the cop would be well advised to take it ...

It's an interesting conundrum ...

I'd prefer a gin and tonic, myself, but whatever works ...

Either that or yoga ...

There are times I wish that was possible ...

As long as he uses the Mac OS rather than Windows Whatever ...

It's an interesting approach ...

He's a natural for the Ikea treatment ...

This one's for my friend Birgitte, who - as far as I know - has never once had her name properly spelled on a Starbucks order ...

Keeping the paperwork up to date ...

And that's our salute to the Frankensteins to kick off our Halloween-themed cartoons for October. Remember: "Cartoons good! Fire bad!"

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when we start the Halloween series of Musical Sunday offerings ... see you then.

Bilbo

* 31  USC 5114 (b): "Only the portrait of a deceased individual may appear on United States currency and securities." Of course, pesky nuisances like laws don't bother this administration, so that shouldn't cause any problems.

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2025

Not without trepidation, we have entered the month of October, which does not augur any improvement over any of the previous nine months, but does offer us the opportunity to recognize new achievements in ass clownery. The competition remains as fierce as ever, yet the burden of selecting appropriate designees remains and must be met. Therefore, with the usual flatulent blare of trumpets, we announce presentation of the tinfoil and toilet paper crown to

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2025

"Border Czar"

Tom Homan

Der Furor's pugnacious "Border Czar," a full-throated champion of the crackdown on immigrants (and citizens caught up in its wide nets), and a key figure in the administration's massive deportation efforts, was recorded by undercover FBI agents in September of 2024 accepting $50,000 in cash in exchange for a promise of lucrative government contracts in a potential second administration led by Der Furor. 

The investigation of Mr Homan, which began during the Biden administration, was shut down by political appointees at the FBI and Justice Department last month. 

For his part, Mr Homan denied during a Fox News interview that he had done anything wrong, but did not deny accepting the cash, and White House deputy press secretary Abigail Jackson predictably declared the now-canceled federal criminal probe a “blatantly political investigation, which found no evidence of illegal activity.” She went on to claim that the investigation was concocted by Biden Justice Department appointees “to target President Trump’s allies.” FBI Director Kash Patel and Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche declared in a joint statement that investigators had found "no credible evidence of any criminal wrongdoing” by Homan and that “as a result, the investigation has been closed.”

It is, of course, entirely possible that the investigation of Mr Homan's alleged actions might have been dropped regardless of which political party was in power, but the decision to drop the investigation now gives at least the appearance of sweeping illegal activity under the rug.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2025, is Der Furor's Border Czar Tom Homan ... with an honorable mention to FBI Director Patel and Deputy Attorney General Blanche for quashing the investigation that could have resolved any question of wrongdoing on Mr Homan's part and thereby thickening the cloud of mistrust and abuse of power that is a hallmark of the current administration.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for more thoughts and the first of our traditional Halloween-inspired Cartoon Saturdays, kicking off with a salute to Frankenstein ... or, if you're a purist, to Frankenstein's monster. Whatever.

See you then.

Bilbo

Can Congress Be Fixed?

I'll be 74 years old next month, and in all that time I've never seen Congress in such a mess. Neither party has leadership worthy of the name, the majority party refuses even to hold discussions with the minority, and the last time a budget was passed under the normal process ("regular order") was fiscal year 1997. The 119th Congress is clearly the most useless in history.

What went wrong? Lots of ink has been spilled trying to answer that question, and the answer generally depends on the political leanings of the person offering an opinion. There are lots of articles, manifestos, OpEds, memes, and other screeds which offer suggestions for fixing the rot, some of which are silly and unworkable, but many of which are promising, if unlikely (for various reasons) ever to be adopted. Here are a few that I think show potential for returning Congress to something resembling other than a adult playroom:

1. Impose Term Limits. The Constitution limits Presidents to two terms, but places no similar limits on members of Congress. Unlimited terms allow individual members to accumulate power based on longevity rather than competence, and imposing term limits would bring regular infusions of new blood and ideas. A good balance of new and experienced members could be achieved by limiting Senators to two six-year terms and Representatives to six two-year terms, for a total of 12 years.

2. Adopt Flexible Rates of Pay. Set the salary of each member at the median income for the state they represent. This will ensure that members understand their constituents' financial reality.

3. Require Members of Congress to Obtain Health Insurance from the Exchanges in their Home States. Coupled with pay calculation described above, this will ensure that members understand the health care problems their constituents face, and help focus them on developing fair and workable solutions.

4. Conduct Routine Business Remotely. There are many options for secure online communication which will allow members of Congress to remain in their districts, close to their constituents, while conducting most ordinary legislative business. The full Congress could assemble periodically, perhaps quarterly or semiannually, for in-person sessions to conduct business or hold hearings that can not be conducted remotely.

5. Require Single-Issue Legislation. Omnibus legislation running to thousands of pages and larded with "poison pills" for political advantage are opaque, an invitation to corrupt deal-making, and insult to the citizens. Congress needs to return to the traditional budget process (regular order) and adopt a system of single-issue legislation to improve focus and understanding.

6. Bring Back Campaign Finance Limits. Terrible Supreme Court decisions like Citizens United allow corporations and the wealthy to pump unlimited amounts of money to their preferred candidates, giving these a dominant voice in the political process and ensuring that elected officials are beholden to their wealthiest campaign donors rather than the average voter. Campaign finance limits must be reimposed and enforced to reduce opportunities for corruption and ensure fairness in representation.

7. Require Members of Congress to Recuse Themselves from Drafting and Voting on Legislation in Which They Have Personal Financial Interest. The authority of Congress is diminished when there is an appearance of conflicts of interest.

More needs to be done, but this would be a good start ... something to think about as we begin yet another fiscal year with no budget.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Ass Clown Special Award

Today, September 30th, 2025, the Secretary of Defense and the President of the United States delivered back-to-back speeches to a hastily-convened meeting of the nation's generals, admirals, and senior enlisted personnel. These speeches were so awful ... so insulting to active duty military personnel and veterans and so frightening to our fellow Americans and to the rest of the world ... that I am compelled to present this out-of-cycle

Ass Clown Special Award

to

Der Furor*

and

Secretary of Defense

Pete Hegseth**

The stage was set by Mr Hegseth - styling himself the Secretary of War, rather than Defense, when he said,

"From this moment forward, the only mission of the newly restored Department of War is this: warfighting, preparing for war and preparing to win, unrelenting and uncompromising in that pursuit not because we want war, no one here wants war, but it's because we love peace. We love peace for our fellow citizens. They deserve peace, and they rightfully expect us to deliver."

His pious invocation of "peace for our fellow citizens" was undercut by the rambling, brutal, and despicable speech later delivered by Der Furor, who said that, 

"I told Pete we should use some of these dangerous [American] cities as training grounds for our military — National Guard, but military — because we’re going into Chicago very soon."

The President of the United States has just told his Secretary of Defense that the armed forces of the United States should be trained for war by being unleashed on American cities to combat "the enemy within."

Think about that.

A President of the United States who has never served a day in the military is recommending to his Secretary of Defense - who served in the military but never achieved the level of leadership, command, and management of those he now professes to direct - the use of the military against American citizens in American cities.

I read an interesting piece on the Internet a few minutes ago that is worth paraphrasing here. If we assume that the average time in service of a general or flag officer or their senior enlisted advisors is about 25 years, and that roughly 800 such individuals were in attendance at Mr Hegseth's and Der Furor's Brass-o-Rama, it follows that the audience represented twenty thousand years of military experience at every level of command. These professional military officers and their senior enlisted advisors spent a morning being harangued by a President with zero years of military experience and a Defense Secretary with about 15 ... none of them in positions of senior leadership and command.

It's hardly a wonder that such an audience sat stonily while men unfit to carry their luggage lectured them on perceived deficiencies in their leadership skills and military professionalism, and threatened to unleash them on their fellow citizens. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, this Ass Clown Special Award is presented to Der Furor and to Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth ... two men whose towering egotism, arrogance, and incompetence should frighten every American citizen.

Have a good day, and think very clearly about how you vote in the coming elections. Your sitting president wants to unleash the world's deadliest military force against you if you don't bend the knee.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Der Furor has now received 19 Ass Clown Awards: 11 individual, 7 shared, and Ass Clown of the Year for 2015.

** This is Mr Hegseth's second award, having previously been the Right-Cheek Ass Clown in April of 2025.

Who Was That Masked Man?

Those of you old enough to remember the old TV series "The Lone Ranger" may remember the stereotyped ending of many episodes, in which the hero rode off into the sunset while the grateful townsfolk look wonderingly at the silver bullet he left behind and asked, "Who was that masked man?"

There's a tradition in literature of the hero who wears a disguise - usually a mask - to keep their identity secret. The Scarlet Pimpernel, The Lone Ranger, Batman, Zorro, and The Copperhead are just a few of the masked heroes who stepped up to uphold the law and defend the oppressed*.

Times have changed, though.

Nowadays, the masked avenger who once worked to save the oppressed is a federal agent, heavily armed and armored, who refuses to identify himself or his agency or confirm his authority by presenting a warrant while rounding up suspected illegal immigrants in Home Depot and 7-Eleven parking lots and the hallways of federal courts.

There may be good reasons for specific individual police officers to conceal their identity. Service as undercover agents is the reason most often cited, but I hardly think that the relatively few officers serving in valuable undercover roles would be exposed to identification in an effort to round up migrants. Fear of malicious doxing is also given as a reason for masking officers, and it's a concern, but considering that every ordinary police officer wears a badge and identifies themselves to document their identity and authority, I think it's a weak reason.

Masked Singer, yes. Masked law enforcement, no.

Have a good day. Insist that those who exercise power over you identify themselves and document their authority. You don't live in a police state.

Yet.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Okay, The Scarlet Pimpernel rescued French aristocrats from the mob and the guillotine, but just work with me on this.

Poetry Sunday

I have a feeling that this is exactly how it will be ...

The Future 

by Billy Collins 

When I finally arrive there—

And it will take many days and nights—

I would like to believe others will be waiting

and might even want to know how it was.

So I will reminisce about a particular sky

or a woman in a white bathrobe

or the time I visited a narrow strait

where a famous naval battle had taken place.

Then I will spread out on a table

a large map of my world

and explain to the people of the future

in their pale garments what it was like—

how mountains rose between the valleys

and this was called geography,

how boats loaded with cargo plied the rivers

and this was known as commerce,

how the people from this pink area

crossed over into this light-green area

and set fires and killed whoever they found

and this was called history—

and they will listen, mild-eyed and silent,

as more of them arrive to join the circle,

like ripples moving toward,

not away from, a stone tossed into a pond.

Sadly, that's almost exactly what history is, isn't it?

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Can someone just put this month out of its misery, please?

Der Furor delivered a rambling and insulting speech at the UN on Monday, prompting an unnamed senior foreign diplomat to ask, “This man is stark raving mad … do Americans not see how embarrassing this is??;" not surprisingly, the rapture predicted by many now-disappointed religious extremists for Monday or Tuesday failed to occur; in the latest move by Der Furor's administration to sanitize the nation’s history, Defense secretary Pete Hegseth has announced that 20 US soldiers who took part in the 1890 massacre of hundreds of Lakota men, women and children at Wounded Knee will keep the Congressional Medals of Honor awarded to them; the White House has ordered federal agencies to prepare for mass layoffs of "all employees whose work is not funded through means other than annual appropriations and does not align with [Der Furor’s] priorities" in the event of a government shutdown next week; and in California, an attorney has been fined $10,000 for filing an appeal full of fake legal authorities and citations generated by ChatGPT.

This week, because I was too lazy to curate a collection, we'll just do a cartoon potpourri from my as-yet-unsorted file ... 

A pro right to the end!

I know someone else who likes that sort of comedy ...

How the news shows balance viewpoints ...

I'm sure there's already an import model toilet from Japan that works this way ...

And we have a country full of Franks, don't we?

Getting shot in a Western flick, 2025 ...

I think this is probably what's waiting for me ...

Yes. Yes, they are ...

Covering all of Waldo's bases ...

I think the answer is pretty clear, don't you?

And that's it for our final Cartoon Saturday of the month - I hope it helped take your mind off the state of the world for a few minutes.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns. See you then.

Bilbo