Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, you have spoken, and have done a much better job than the voters in that other election back in November.
Yes, it is time to announce the result of the voting for the Ass Clown of the Year ... but first, let's count down the finalists:
In fifth place, with 600 votes - three-time ACOY winner and late entry Mitch McConnell;
In fourth place, with 615 votes - The News Media, for its overall deplorable performance;
In third place, with 880 votes - the biggest snake to come out of Florida since the Burmese Python invasion, Matt Gaetz;
In second place, our runner up with 1450 votes - Mar-a-Lago Pool Boy Elon Musk;
And now, our winner,
The 2024
Ass Clown of the Year
and winner - for the second time - of the prestigious tinfoil and toilet paper crown
with a towering 11790 votes,
The American Electorate
A slim majority of the American Electorate this year opted to reject a superbly qualified presidential candidate and instead return to the presidency the most un-statesmanlike, unqualified, petty, and vindictive individual possible. Glad you got what you wished for ... sadly, the rest of us and the rest of the world will suffer the consequences along with you.
By the way, Der Furor this year received the lowest vote total in the history of the Ass Clown of the Year awards - exactly one-half vote, cast at the last minute. He deserved more, but at least he made the final roster of nominees, which also included embarrassing Cabinet nominee Robert F. Kennedy, Jr, Der Furor's spokesogre Stephen Cheung, The Government of Israel, the Democratic Party, the 118th Congress, and "The Trump Cult."
Before we sign off, here's a recap of the Ass Clown of the Year winners since the annual award was first presented in 2011:
2011: The Republican Party
2012: NRA President Wayne LaPierre
2013: The Tea Party
2014: Former VP Dick Cheney
2015: Der Furor
2016: The American Electorate
2017: The Republican Party and Its Congressional Majority
2018: Sen Mitch McConnell (R, KY)
2019: Sen Mitch McConnell (R, KY)
2020: Sen Mitch McConnell (R, KY)
2021: Tucker Carlson
2022: Texas Governor Greg Abbott
2023: The Republican Party
2024: The American Electorate
Enjoy the New Year's Holiday, and gird your mental loins for the coming year, which promises to be a wild ride as the new administration fights with itself and tries to meet the minimum standards for responsible governance. Good luck with that.
More thoughts coming in the new year.
Bilbo
