The MAGA Government Aptitude and Placement Exam

Obtained from a confidential source ...

Thank you for your interest in serving in Musk's Alternative Government for America (MAGA). This MAGA Government Aptitude and Placement Exam will help us evaluate your suitability for employment in the new, rightsized United States Government as established by the Department of Government Efficiency. Please fill in the personal data requested in Part 1, then complete the exam by marking the appropriate answers:

PART 1

PERSONAL INFORMATION

Your Name: _______________________

Your Race:

a. ___ Caucasian

b. ___ Other (Stop here. No positions are available.)

Your Sex (there are only two choices):

a. ___ Male

b. ___ Female (attach photograph)

 

Your Ethnic Background

a. ___ Northern European

b. ___ Shithole Country (Stop here. No positions are available.)

Your Religion:

a. ___ Christian (Trump Bible-observing denominations only)

b. ___ Other (Stop here. No positions are available.)

Do you claim hiring preference as a DEI (Definitely European Individual) candidate?

YES ___ 

NO ___ (Stop here. No positions are available.)

PART 2

SUITABILITY EXAMINATION

1. Who won the 2020 Presidential election?

a. ___ Donald Trump

b. ___ Not Donald Trump (Stop here. No positions are available.) 

2. The Constitution consists of the Second Amendment and some other outdated and incorrect stuff about government.

YES ___ 

NO ___ (Stop here. No positions are available.)

3. The Founders clearly stated that the United States is a 100% Christian nation, and that all other false religions are causes of terrorism.

YES ___  

NO ___ (Stop here. No positions are available.)

4. "Climate Change" has absolutely no scientific basis, and people who believe in it are radical lunatics and probably terrorists.

YES ___ 

NO ___ (Stop here. No positions are available.)

5. The United States is the most exceptional nation ever founded, is a shining example for the rest of the world, is incapable of doing anything wrong, and anyone who says otherwise is a radical lunatic terrorist.

YES ___

NO ___ (Stop here. No positions are available.)

6. The federal government must rein in wasteful spending on useless and fraudulent things like welfare, education, food safety, public health, foreign aid, and environmental protection.

YES ___

NO ___ (Stop here. No positions are available.)

7. All political, economic, and social problems can be solved by applying tariffs at a minimum rate of 75%.

YES ___

NO ___ (Stop here. No positions are available.)

8. Taxes on businesses, corporations, and the top 1% of the population are counterproductive because they limit the economic success which eventually benefits the lower-income population.

YES ___

NO ___ (Stop here. No positions are available.)

9. Do you have any educational background or practical experience in the position for which you are applying?

YES ___ (Stop here. Education and relevant experience disqualify you for consideration for any position)

NO ___

10. Just to be clear, who won the 2020 presidential election?

a. ___ Donald Trump

b. ___ Not Donald Trump (You're a loser. Stop here. No positions are available.) 

11. Anyone who disagrees with the correct answer to any of the above questions is a radical lunatic terrorist who hates America.

YES ___

NO ___ (Stop here. No positions are available.)

Thank you for taking the MAGA Government Aptitude and Placement Examination. If you incorrectly answered any of the questions above, please turn in your answer sheet, leave, and go to Canada (unless it has already been assimilated as the 51st state) or someplace else where your godless radical lunatic socialist ways will be appreciated.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo