The On-Crack Ass Clown for May, 2025

This year, May is one of the two months (October will be the other) which will provide not two, but three Fridays for the presentation of Ass Clown Awards. This, of course, lends an additional complication to the task of selecting winners, but - as always - I'm ready to step up to the plate and swing for the fences.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the tinfoil and toilet paper crown of

The On-Crack Ass Clown for May, 2025

is awarded to

White House Press Secretary

Karoline Leavitt

The White House press secretary is a senior White House official who serves as spokesperson for the executive branch of the United States federal government, particularly the president, and presents government policies to the news media. He or she collects and reports information about administration actions and events and issues the administration's reactions to developments around the world. The press secretary interacts with the media and the White House press corps, generally in a daily press briefing.

All press secretaries shade the truth to the advantage of their administrations, but seldom do they outright lie ... although the practice has become common with those who serve Der Furor, whose barely-nodding acquaintance with the truth is well documented. Karoline Leavitt joins the ranks of those (most notably Sean Spicer and Sarah Huckabee Sanders*) who have tried their best to put lipstick on the policy pig**.

Recently, Ms Leavitt had this comment on the blatantly corrupt event hosted by Der Furor to enrich his cryptocurrency account using these words,

"The president is abiding by all conflict of interest laws that are applicable to the president ... the American public believes it's absurd for anyone to insinuate that this president is profiting off of the presidency. This president was incredibly successful before giving it all up to serve our country publicly and not only has he lost wealth, he almost lost his life. He has sacrificed a lot to be here and to suggest otherwise is, frankly, completely absurd."

She made a similar comment in response to another question, saying,

“I think it’s frankly ridiculous that anyone in this room would even suggest that President Trump is doing anything for his own benefit. He left a life of luxury and a life of running a very successful real estate empire for public service ... this is a president who has actually lost money for being president.”

When she was asked in an interview (by Faux News reporter Brian Kilmeade, no less) about whether some quid pro quo might accompany Der Furor's acceptance of the gift of a $400 million luxury jet from the government of Qatar, her response was,

“Absolutely not, because [the American people] know President Trump and they know he only works with the interests of the American public in mind.”

prompting one commentator to ask “Did she actually say that with a straight face?”

When she was asked about the administration's admission that it had erroneously deported a Maryland man to El Salvador, Ms Leavitt did a masterful job of agreeing that the individual was wrongly deported while simultaneously accusing him of (as yet unproven) crimes ...

“Well first of all, the error that you are referring to was based on a clerical error, it was an administrative error. The administration maintains the position that this individual who was deported to El Salvador and will not be returning to our country was a member of the brutal and vicious MS-13 gang. That is fact number one. Fact number two: We also have credible intelligence proving that this individual was involved in human trafficking. And fact number three: This individual was a member, actually a leader, of the brutal MS-13 gang, which this president has designated as a foreign terrorist organization.” 

It should also be noted that none of the three alleged "facts" she mentioned has ever been supported by actual evidence.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, your On-Crack Ass Clown for May, 2025, is White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, a lady whose ability to blatantly lie in public about easily-disprovable facts is matched only by that of her boss, and who has earned the derisive nickname "TACO Belle" for her risible performances at the lectern***.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when we'll examine the most famous piece of equipment ever fielded by the Swiss Army. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Both of them previous winners of Ass Clown awards: Mr Spicer twice as the January 2017 Left Cheek and the March 2017 Left Cheek, and Ms Sanders an astounding five times as the November 2017 Right Cheek, December 2017 Left Cheek, November 2018 Left Cheek, December 2018 Left Cheek, and April 2019 Left Cheek.

** I've heard the practice referred to as "porcine cosmetology."

*** For those of you unfamiliar with the new  "TACO" moniker, it's short for "[Der Furor] Always Chickens Out" - a reference to Der Furor's style of initially adopting maximalist positions on tariffs, only to quickly back down.