Thursday, August 28, 2025

Renaming the Cabinet


A few days ago, Der Furor mused that he intended to change the name of the Department of Defense back to its original, pre-1947 name, "Department of War." His rationale was that "it had a stronger sound." This is, of course, important to a weak man posturing as a strong one.

But why stop with just DoD? Why not rename all the other cabinet departments, too? I think these would be names more appealing to the MAGA mentality ... 

The Department of Agriculture becomes The Department of Buying off Farmers After Crashing Their Markets;

The Department of Commerce becomes The Department of Tariffs as the Cure for Everything;

What's left of The Department of Education becomes The Department of Revisionist History;

The Department of Energy becomes The Department of Drill, Baby, Drill;

The Department of Health and Human Services becomes The Department of Quit Whining and Die, Already; 

The Department of Homeland Security becomes The Department of Eliminating Immigration and Ensuring White Supremacy Through the Deportation of Undesirables and Support of Militias; 

The Department of Housing and Urban Development becomes The Department of Support to the Mortgage Industry;

The Department of the Interior becomes The Department of Monetizing Useless National Parks; 

The Department of Justice becomes The Department of Retribution and Political Loyalty Enforcement;

The Department of Labor becomes the Department of Keeping the Workforce in Its Place;

The Department of State becomes The Department of Russia Good, China Bad; 

The Department of Transportation becomes The Department of Ensuring Dominance of Fossil-Fueled Vehicles; 

The Department of the Treasury becomes The President's Personal Account; and 

The Department of Veteran Affairs becomes The Department of Get Homeless and Disabled Veterans Out of Sight.

I was feeling pretty angry when I wrote this. Does it show?


Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

1 comment:

allenwoodhaven said...

Great idea. You don't come across as angry, just accurately blunt. We should change to those names for now, then change back when we get past this. And I certainly hope sooner rather than later.