As we move into the second half of September, it's time once again to lift the lid on the swirling cesspool of ass clownery and consider the right choice for our next award. As always, there are huge numbers of individuals and groups who would be worthy nominees, but I think it's time I turned to a winner I've been putting off for a long time.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, with the usual flatulent blare of trumpets we announce presentation of the tinfoil and toilet paper crown to
The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2025
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Laura Loomer
Laura Loomer is a far-right conservative political activist, conspiracy theorist, and internet personality who wields outsized influence in Der Furor's administration. Journalist Michael Scherer, in an article about her in The Atlantic titled "Make Joe McCarthy Great Again," wrote,
"In just the first seven months of [Der Furor's] second presidency, she successfully lobbied [Der Furor] to end Secret Service protection for Joe Biden’s children. She has pushed the president to fire six members of his National Security Council, remove three leaders at the National Security Agency, end an academic appointment at West Point, fire the director of the National Vetting Center at the Department of Homeland Security, dispatch an assistant U.S. attorney in California, and remove a federal prosecutor in Manhattan. After [Der Furor's] intel chief stripped 37 current and former national-security officials of their security clearance Wednesday, she claimed credit for first labeling 29 of them as threats to [Der Furor]."
Not bad for a person with no official government position or authority.
Ms Loomer is famous for pulling outrageous public stunts, such as getting herself arrested after storming the stage at New York City’s Shakespeare in the Park to protest a version of Julius Caesar inspired by Der Furor, and being kicked off Uber and Lyft for saying that she did not want Muslim drivers. She's also gotten herself banned from Facebook and Instagram for hate-speech violations (although she is still on Twitter - now "X" - where her views appear to be considered more "mainstream").
Her antics, threats, online posts, and direct channel to Der Furor have destroyed careers, shaped news cycles, and caused movement in financial markets, and she has openly boasted on X that “It’s amazing how fast we can get results from the [Der Furor] administration.”
In the wake of the murder of far-right activist Charlie Kirk, she repeatedly called for the federal government to suppress the free speech of anyone guilty of criticizing Der Furor or demonizing Mr Kirk - a blatant violation of the Constitution, and one which has also been called for by Der Furor himself.
The law, the Constitution, and our freedoms are under assault as never before, with a junior demagogue cheering it on.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2025, is Laura Loomer. As if the country didn't have enough problems.
Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. You know you need it.
More thoughts then.
Bilbo
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