Cartoon Saturday

A hundred thousand people may be dead in Myanmar, where the government is too suspicious of outsiders to accept help. They're going to dig for more bodies on the Manson ranch. Hezbollah is once again wrecking Lebanon.

The world's going to hell in the proverbial handbasket. The news is all bad. What do you do?

You turn to your old pal Bilbo and Cartoon Saturday to lift your spirits.

Two riffs on the same theme...

Some of the best cartoons are great because they take an everyday situation and put a silly twist on it. I love this one...

"Lio" is a fairly new comic strip running in the Washington Post, about a very strange young man. I think this particular Lio panel is hysterically funny, if about as black as humor gets...

And finally, remember what I said earlier about cartoons that put a silly twist on an ordinary situation? I think this one's a classic...

I hope you've had a good week and are making your plans to honor Mom tomorrow. In this space, as you might imagine, I'll have a few thoughts on Mothers' Day. Until then, enjoy Cartoon Saturday and remember - I'm always gratefully accepting great cartoons you may have to add to my collection...e-mail them to bilbo_the_blogger@yahoo.com.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Can You Hear Me Now? How About If I Blow You Up?

One of the most amazing things about the Middle East is the tendency to resort to mindless violence in the face of the least provocation. You can always count on nations and organizations in the Middle East to stubbornly keep digging once they've reached the bottom of the proverbial hole, ensuring that the endless cycle of violence and general misery continues, and that America will ultimately be blamed for it.

In Lebanon, the latest round of savage fighting between the Lebanese government and Hezbollah, that peace-loving social welfare organization, has been touched off by ... cell phones.

Yes, while you and I roll our eyes and try to ignore the bozohead yakking loudly into his cell phone at inappropriate times, Hezbollah declares war. I'm sure God is pleased.

This story in Time Magazine tells the bizarre story of Lebanon's Cell Phone War. The Readers' Digest version of the sad story is this: the government does not want Hezbollah setting up its own telephone network (or exploiting video cameras at Beirut airport to plan kidnappings), and has declared these actions illegal. Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah, the gentle, easy-going leader of Hezbollah, doesn't want anything - much less a duly-elected government - to interfere with his ability to plan for his next war with Israel.

And so Lebanon, it's capital of Beirut once known as "The Paris of the Middle East," descends once again into war.

Here's Bilbo's Three-Step Plan For Peace in the Middle East:

1. Build a wall 100 feet high around the entire region.

2. Fill the area thus enclosed to the top with sand.

3. Start over.

I don't think anything else is ever going to work.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Keeping Books

I've written frequently here about our love of books and reading, and about the trials and tribulations of having to store the thousands of books we own. No matter how often I cull through the books stacked everywhere in the house, no matter how many boxes of books I donate to the local library, no matter how many books I loan or give away to friends, the total number never seems to go down. Just as nature abhors a vacuum, so do our shelves abhor empty spaces - an open slot on a shelf cries out for the purchase of another book to fill it ... two, if they're thin enough. The possession of large numbers of books leads inexorably to many serious questions for a dedicated reader: How do you store your books? How do you sort them? How do you arrange them so you can find the one you want to read or refer to again? How do you decide what to keep and what to turn loose when the space runs out?

Last month I read a review in the Washington Post Book World that promised the answer to those awful questions ... or, at least, a pleasant discussion of them. Of course, it involved the purchase of yet another book, but it's one that I can strongly recommend to each of you who is also a Dedicated Reader.

The Library at Night by Alberto Manguel is a wonderful collection of essays on libraries and the collection, care, sorting, and reading of books. This review by Michael Dirda captures the magic of a book that will entertain, instruct, and delight all lovers of good books everywhere.

The book is divided into fifteen essays of varying length that look at the various functions, uses, and arrangements of libraries; they include: The Library as Order, Space, Power, Shape, Survival, and - my favorite - The Library as Workshop. Mr Manguel describes the study, the working space of a personal library, "not (as) a pared-down version of the larger structure - the library - which sometimes contains it. It has a different mission: it provides a practical space for self-reflection and conceit, for belief in the power of objects and reliance on the authority of a dictionary." He goes on later to note that, "A study lends its owner, the privileged reader, what Seneca called euthymia, a Greek word which Seneca explained means 'well-being of the soul' ... Every study aspires to euthymia. Euthymia, memory without distraction, the intimacy of a reading time - a secret period in the communal day - that is what we seek in a private reading space."

It makes me think ever more fondly of the poor, cluttered, messy (and yet cozy and comfortable) study where I crank out this blog every day.

If you are interested in books, reading, and libraries, I encourage you to read The Library at Night. While all of the essays may not be of equal interest, the overall delight of the book and of Mr Manguel's flowing prose make it a grand investment of time spent in thoughtful reading. Particularly in the library. Or the study. At night.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

The Terrifying Threat of DHMO

People today can be profoundly suspicious of other people and their ideas. You've probably seen some variation on the test in which people on the street were asked to sign the Declaration of Independence, presented as a petition...and refused because it was obviously a subversive antigovernment screed written by some wild-eyed commiepinkoratbastard.

On the other hand, some people will believe in really amazing things without thinking them through ... and other people will always be ready to make hay from it.

Check out this website dedicated to publicizing the deadly environmental threat of Dihydrogen Monoxide, or DHMO. On this site you can learn that:

DHMO is widely used as an industrial solvent and coolant, and is a major component of acid rain;

Athletes brazenly take DHMO orally to improve their performance;

DHMO has a long history of use as an instrument of torture. It was used in World War II prison camps in Japan, and has been alleged to be used today on prisoners in China and at Guantanamo;

And,

DHMO is widely used as an additive in food products, including jarred baby food and baby formula, and even in many soups, carbonated beverages and supposedly "all-natural" fruit juices.

Terrifying, isn't it? Why doesn't someone do something about this awful threat to our health and welfare?

Because, of course, dihydrogen monoxide is actually good old aitch-two-oh ... commonly known as water.

The Urban Legends Reference Page has a detailed discussion of the history of the DHMO hoax. It's a classic example of how the most silly ideas can be dressed up in scientific jargon and used to spin up a credulous public. The DHMO website mentioned above is an ingenious example.

Always remember Bilbo's First Law: never let anyone else do your thinking for you. Because, as my hero Jimmy Buffett says in his classic song Beach House on the Moon, there's no dumbass vaccine.

And that's a shame in an election season.

Have a good day. Beware of DHMO poisoning. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Say "Ahhhhhh"...

One of my favorite blogs is the daily laugh riot published by Miss Cellania. I don't know where this wonderful lady finds all the hysterical stuff she posts, but I'm glad she does...it's usually the first thing I read in the morning to get my spirits up for whatever the day is getting ready to throw at me.

Today, her theme is "The Doctor's Office," which resonates with me as I try to cast off the last dregs of last week's creeping crud. Having just experienced the sheer joy of being greeted at the doctor's office with the Official Healer's Greeting - "You have a $10 co-pay" - and rattling when I walk from all the pills I'm still taking, I can appreciate jokes taken at the expense of the medical profession. So, probably, can Rodney Dangerfield - I believe it was he who once said that when he asked his doctor for a second opinion, the doctor replied, "Okay, you're ugly, too."

I'd seen this little riff on the history of medicine before, but it's still funny (and true):

2000 B.C. - Eat this root.

1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Say this prayer.

1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Drink this potion.

1940 A.D. - That potion is just snake oil. Swallow this pill.

1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Take this antibiotic.

2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Eat this root.

Yes, it seems as if the relentless advance of medical knowledge keeps turning the old conventional health wisdom on its head. When I was little, my mother was always pushing us out the door during the summer to play outside in the sunshine. Today, you don't send your children out in the sunshine without long pants, a long-sleeved shirt, a sun hat, and SPF 897 sunblock applied with a trowel. Today's miracle drug is tomorrow's excuse for an enormous, lawyer-enriching class action lawsuit. And I remember our old family doctor, who smoked like a chimney in the office...today, the doctors sneak their nicotine fixes out back by the dumpster like everyone else.

And then, there was the fellow who named his dog "Physician" so that he could command, "Physician, heel thyself!"

Having had the marvelous experience of suffering from severe allergic reactions to ... something (we've never been able to figure out just what) ... this cartoon speaks to me:


Okay, so I don't have any deep thoughts for today, just a few riffs at the expense of the medical profession, inspired by the matchless Miss Cellania. I actually do have a lot of thoughts on this topic, which I usually shout at the radio when I'm listening to the latest balderdash on affordable health care from some talking head or another, but we'll save them for another day. Perhaps tomorrow. If I feel up to it.

In the meantime, take two aspirins, leave me a comment, and come back tomorrow.

Have a good day. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Movers and Shakers

One of my dreams, like Serina Hope's, is to become a published writer. Fiction, nonfiction, or both - it doesn't matter. I have notebooks and computer files full of fleshed-out scenes, lists of characters and their traits, snips of great dialog (well, I think it's great, anyhow), plot ideas and partial outlines, and all sorts of assorted reference articles. So far, all it's resulted in is one letter to the editor published in The Washington Post, and another published (with revisions that completely changed the point I was trying to make) in the Air Force Times.

And, of course, this blog ... but in the sense of being a "published author," it doesn't really count.

One of the how-to articles for aspiring writers of "thriller" fiction that I read long ago cautioned against using as a plot focus the single individual who was out to rule/conquer/destroy/enslave the world. According to the article, the world is far too large, complex, and resilient a place to be ruled/conquered/destroyed/enslaved by one person. I duly filed that bit of information away, feeling bad for the thousands of comic book and pulp fiction villains who have set out on the Impossible Dream, like this fellow ...

With all this in mind, I was - of course - very much interested in this article by David Rothkopf in the Outlook section of yesterday's Washington Post: "They're Global Citizens, They're Hugely Rich. And They Pull The Strings." The article begins with this memorable sentence: "We didn't elect them. We can't throw them out. And they're getting more powerful every day."

This group of about 6,000 people are those Mr Rothkopf refers to as the superclass, a class of people so fabulously rich (think Warren Buffett or Bill Gates) or hugely influential (think Oprah Winfrey or Rupert Murdoch) that their ability to shape opinions and events is greater in many cases than those of elected officials and even national governments. These are people who are, in contrast to the elites of previous centuries, largely self-made titans rather than inheritors of wealth and power, and they have more in common with each other than with the little folk like you and I. These are the people who can make things happen. Mr Rothkopf notes that while the Federal Reserve was credited with bringing the recent financial crisis under control, it was actually the action of a single individual - Jamie Dimon, the CEO of J.P. Morgan Chase, who enabled the recovery by agreeing to purchase the Bear Stearns investment bank when it threatened to collapse.

I don't know about you, but I just looked at my checkbook and determined that I probably wouldn't have been able to rescue my own stern, much less Bear Stearns.

This is power.

Consider this quote from Mr Rothkopf's article: "Today, the world's more than 1,100 billionaires have a net worth that's roughly double that of the bottom 2.5 billion people on the planet. The richest 10 percent of adults worldwide own 85 percent of global wealth, while the poorest half only barely one percent. The world's almost 10 million millionaires have seen their wealth double to nearly $37 trillion over the past 10 years."

That's pretty heady stuff for someone like me, who is happy when his checkbook is in four figures not evenly divided on both sides of the decimal point.

So, who pulls the world's strings? Is it governments? Is it Non-Governmental Organizations (the famous "NGO's")? Or is it the global superclass - the people who can make big things happen with a few words in an interview, or a conference call to the right members of their class? The people we didn't vote for, or appoint, or approve for their positions?

All I know is this: Bilbo and the 15 faithful members of his blogging family probably aren't on the speed dial for any of the members of the superclass, even though the things they say, the decisions they make, and the actions they take will have a huge effect on us.

I think I'm worried about this, but I don't have time to be too worried, because - unlike the members of the superclass - I need to get my wide, aging fanny to work so that I can pay for food and gas.

After all, someday, I may need to help bail out some investment bank, ha, ha.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Green Thumb Report

My garden is now fully planted for the year, and I'm sitting back waiting to thumb my nose at the local Giant and Safeway herb and produce prices. After last year, when my motley collection of herbs took off like a runaway experiment from a 1950's sci-fi movie, and with the price of food going through the roof, I decided to cast my agricultural net wider this year.

For 2008, I'm doing plots and pots: revitalizing the two herb plots from last year, and adding seven pots of various vegetables...

Here's the status, as of yesterday, of plot #1:

The parsley in the front came roaring back from last year, and is farther ahead than anything else. Behind it are the chives I'd given up for dead, which are also nice and big, but which don't seem to be spreading. To fill up the empty space I added two marjoram plants in the back center, another tarragon in the back left corner, and a token cilantro up front next to the parsley. We don't use much cilantro, but I figured I'd give it a try and see how it does.

Here's plot #2 as of yesterday:


That's basil on the left, rosemary on the right, and in the center, back to front, tarragon, dill, and thyme. These plants have now been in for about three weeks...you can check their progress by comparing them to the pictures I posted here back on April 14th.

You may recall that last year my #2 plot was overrun with tomatoes I didn't plant...they grew from seeds that had been in my mulch pile and eventually choked out everything but the basil. This year, I decided to plant tomatoes on my own terms, along with a few other things. Here are the pots that go with the plots (the house and the two plots would be on your right as you look at this picture):

These pots contain red and green bell peppers (which we use lots of), straight-neck yellow squash, zucchini, and two types of tomatoes. If things go well, I plan to put up trellises behind the pots and train the vines to grow along the fence.

One of my goals is to produce a zucchini to match the famous "Bubba" grown by my friend Katherine (who comments here occasionally as "KKTSews") a few years back when we all lived in Germany...she proudly brought Bubba into the office with a fork lift to show him off, and he long ago went to that great ratatouille in the sky. If this works out, you'll see the pictures here.

Gardening is a fair amount of work, and a large amount of fun. There's a grand sense of accomplishment when you can eat something you grew with your own hands, and with food prices being what they are, I figure that by the end of the summer I will have easily made back the money I spent on the plants. Next year, I'll try to grow from seeds.

After all, seedy person that I am, what could be more appropriate?

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Some of my readers like Cartoon Saturdays...like Andrea. Some don't...like my daughter. But since it's not easy to come up with something interesting and passably intellectual every day, I don't feel the least bit guilty about going the easy route once a week.

And so, welcome once again to Cartoon Saturday!

I've had this one in my collection for decades...and we men have all been there...


Penguins are popular with cartoonists and moviemakers for some reason. Maybe because they look like snooty headwaiters or male ballroom dancers...


And who would we make fun of if we didn't have lawyers?


Even historical heroes can't get a break from cartoonists. With all the ridiculous BS in schools today about the irrelevance of "dead white males" and the literary and historical classics, I wonder how many people will really get the point of this great cartoon?



And finally, since I need to get into the mood for this afternoon's dance coaching session...


Have a good weekend. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Mein Crap

April 20th was the anniversary, not much discussed, of the birth of one of the most abominable persons in history: Adolf Hitler. With the possible exception of his fellow tyrant Josef Stalin of the Soviet Union, he was arguably responsible for more death and misery than any human being who has ever lived, and his ignominious suicide in the wreckage of his burning capital ended a reign of war and terror unmatched in history. But for all that, Adolf Hitler is a fascinating individual. How did he become the barely believable monster we today know mainly from old newsreels and barely-noted history lessons?

One of the clues is the book Hitler wrote while in prison following his 1923 comic-opera attempt to overthrow the government of Germany, commonly known as the Beer Hall Putsch. During his imprisonment (which, in truth, was a very lenient one), Hitler outlined his political and social philosophies in the book titled Mein Kampf (My Struggle)...his originally-intended title was said to have been Four and a Half Years of Fighting Against Lies, Stupidity and Cowardice, but his editor/publisher talked him into shortening it to the title we know today.

Mein Kampf is a muddled collection of half-baked political theories, odd twists on history, and almost pornographic anti-Semitic rantings. I have tried to read it both in English and German, and found it virtually unreadable after less than fifty pages (out of nearly 700).

Despite its lack of any particular saving graces, the book was (as you might suspect) a best-seller in Nazi Germany, but cannot legally be printed and sold in modern-day Germany for fear that it will inspire neo-Nazis, skinheads, and other crackpots. You can buy copies of it in many languages around the world (under the title Jihad, it's a best-seller in much of the Arab world), but it is hard to find in Germany. This may, however, change.

According to a recent CNN report, a group of German historians want Mein Kampf to be republished in Germany, in an annotated edition placing it in historical context, before the copyright expires in 2015. Their contention is that republishing the book in an academic format which includes historical annotations and references to the sources of Hitler's demented ideas will help to diminish its appeal to those who still support his theories.

I think this is a good idea, and it's also supported by Stephan Kramer, the general secretary of the Central Council of Jews in Germany, for the same reason: it's important to shed light on the ideas and philosophies that created a monster like Hitler. If more people knew and understood these influences, and were able to read Mein Kampf and see what a mess it really is, the dark appeal of Adolf Hitler ideas could be greatly diminished.

The government of the German state of Bavaria, which owns the copyright, has thus far resisted all attempts to republish Mein Kampf. I hope they change their minds. Shedding clear, bright academic light on Hitler's ideas will expose their utter banality and social, philosophical, and moral bankruptcy. The fear, though, is that there will always be those whose minds are so well-insulated against the truth that they will continue to believe this drivel.

We can only hope that they will be outnumbered and outthought by those who can think for themselves.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Thigh Bones, Hip Bones, Food, and Gas

Last year I wrote a post in this blog titled "Thigh Bone's Connected to the Hip Bone, etc.," in which I lamented the ability of our government and our electoral process to view things as an interconnected system in which actions in one area may create unintended effects in others...as the old children's song says, "the thigh bone's connected to the hip bone..." One of the side effects of sitting at home sick is the time to really read all my accumulated newspapers, magazines, and websites and think about the world situation.

And - surprise! - the world's thigh bones and hip bones are all connected, too.

Consider two major problems facing the world today: the shortage and cost of food, and the soaring cost of oil. The two are linked in many ways:

The price of oil is rising for many reasons, including the booming economy of China, the lack of refining capacity relative to demand, environmental limitations on oil exploration and development, the relative inefficiency of gasoline engines, and the prevalence of large, gas-guzzling cars and SUVs. Reckless speculation also puts upward pressure on the price of oil, as those who can afford to do so buy up large stocks, inflating the cost for everyone else.

The cost of food includes the cost of all the things that go into it...including oil. Gasoline powers the trucks that move the food from farm to manufacturer to consumer, and much of the fertilizer used to grow that food is derived from petroleum. The wrappers and containers that hold the food in the stores, and the bags in which we bring the food home from the store are generally made of plastics - which are also produced from petroleum.

Land policies also affect the cost of food. Developers seeking profitable new properties offer huge amounts of money to farmers for their land...and that land ends up covered with homes, condos, shopping centers, and parking lots rather than wheat, corn, vegetables, and grazing cattle. Taxes on "undeveloped" land also put upward pressure on the cost of the food grown there.

As the price of oil goes up, we belatedly search for alternative fuel sources...like ethanol...which can be produced from corn. Farmers aren't stupid; they see that the potential earnings from planting corn for ethanol are larger than those from planting more fragile wheat...and so they plant more corn. More of that corn goes to produce ethanol, which means less is available for animal feed and human consumption...the price of that smaller amount goes up...which means higher feed costs for animals, which translates to higher prices for the meat we buy in the store.

Oh, and let's not forget global warming (you know, that phenomenon that some politicians and business interests say doesn't exist)...climate and rainfall patterns are clearly changing, and have an obvious effect on crop yields. Droughts in some areas, floods in others, and changing lengths of growing seasons force farmers to change the crops they plant and the way they cultivate their land. New strains of crops, better fertilizers, and development of farmland in newly arable areas may help, but will take time.

The thigh bone's connected to the hip bone.

I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed...others smarter than I am have made many of the same observations. The Washington Post has a very good series this week on the global food crisis, and it's worth your time in reading. The Economist has also done some very good reporting on the issue.

The problem, of course, is that these interconnected problems can't be solved with the sort of throw-money-at-them short-term solutions governments really want. They will require painful long-term decisions about tax policy, land use, farming policies and subsidies, trade agreements and tarriffs, regulations on emissions, fuel efficiency standards, alternative energy sources, environmental policies, and the use of foodstuffs for other than human or animal consumption (i.e., corn for ethanol production).

Until those in a position to make the tough decisions are willing to acknowledge that all of these problems are interlinked and require a system-based approach to their solution, the problems will only get worse. Ultimately, everyone is going to have to sacrifice something, and not everyone is going to be happy.

But I'd rather be unhappy than starve.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo