Great Moments in Editing and Signage

It's that time again ...

Considering the news, I've been looking for an alternative ...

I don't think I'll bother Medicare with this one ...

And they were expecting exactly who to show up? ...

I wonder if they take IOUs ...

Clara sent me this one ...

Say, what? ...

I thought I saw a ... uh ... never mind ...

Ya think? ...

When you're doing sign work, you need to know about kerning ...

I've stayed in places like this ...

There you go! Another collection of great moments in editing and signage. As always, your contributions are welcome.

Have a good day. See you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

The Internet of ... uh ... "Things"

Warning - this post deals with adult* topics!

There are a lot of Wi-Fi enabled products out there nowadays, and they're being interconnected in many ways as part of what's being called "The Internet of Things." There are many advantages to this: your refrigerator, for example, can know when you're running low on milk and send you a reminder to buy more; or you can turn things on and off in your home while you're on vacation thousands of miles away. Yes, the Internet of Things is bringing you all sorts of new advantages ... and a host of new problems, too.

When everything you own is interconnected by Wi-Fi, that there are a multitude of "attack surfaces" that hackers can exploit to screw up your digital life. As crazy as it sounds, a Russian hacker - when he's not busy working on the Trump reelection campaign - can break into your bank account through your Wi-Fi enabled thermostat.

And it gets worse - consider this article by Angelo Young from a recent issue of Salon: Maybe You Don’t Really Need a Wi-Fi-Connected Sex Toy.

According to the article, a cybersecurity company in the United Kingdom has uncovered a disturbing vulnerability in a ... um ... sex toy. Yes, Dear Readers, meet the "Siime Eye**," a $250 camera-equipped, Wi-Fi enabled dildo (available in violet or pale pink) that can stream the most intimate details of your carnal knowledge via the Internet to another person’s computer or smart phone, even without your knowledge or consent.

It seems that the Siime Eye was designed so that its Wi-Fi abilities were more akin to a router than to a client, making it particularly vulnerable to the hijacking of its signal by potential high-tech voyeurs***.

But wait! There's more!

The article goes on to note that,

"Last month Standard Innovation, the Canadian maker of an internet-connected sex toy called We-Vibe agreed to spend $5 million to settle a U.S. civil class action lawsuit for collecting data from customers, such as the time, date and duration of use, level of vibration intensity and device temperature."

I don't think there's much else to say, except to encourage you to make sure your Wi-Fi password is encrypted out the wazoo if your intimate streaming is of the electronic, rather than the golden version.

Have a good day. Remember that not everything needs to be Wi-Fi enabled.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Although you may end up questioning whether the adjective "adult" is accurately used.

** When I first read the article, I read the name as "Slime Eye," which seemed somehow logical.

*** The Siime Eye website includes this warning: "To be more safe be sure to change the default password. We have created a default password "88888888" so that user can access the Siime Eye but in our Mobile Application interface (for both Android and iOS) we have stated to change the password to ensure privacy. We have given clear instructions in User Manual of Siime Eye about how to change password. We always recommend our users to create a strong password.
Most of the electronics devices including our smartphones, Wifi routers are vulnerable to be attacked by hackers. We all hate these unwanted things happening to technical gadgets. So we suggest all our Siime Eye users to change their passwords."

A Totally Inoffensive Post

No whining involved in this one.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, if I can think of something suitably inoffensive to say. After all ...

Bilbo

A Man's Age Expressed in Terms of a Trip to Home Depot

My brother sends me a lot of e-mail, most of which is political and designed to get me spun up. He also sends a lot of funny stuff, most of which is either obscene or just unsuitable for repeating in a general-audience blog. This one, however, I thought was pretty funny. I've seen variations of it before, but this one was the best. Readers like Mike and John will appreciate it now ... the rest of you will appreciate it later ...

You are in the middle of some home project: putting in a new fence, painting the porch, planting some flowers, or fixing a broken door lock. You're hot and sweaty, covered with dirt, lawn clippings and paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with a hole in the crotch, an old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of these tasks you realize that you need to run to Home Depot for supplies. Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20s: Stop what you’re doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because, you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout line. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30s: Stop what you’re doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change your shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror.  Still got it! Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister of someone you went to school with.

In your 40s: Stop what you’re doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.  Put on different shoes and a hat.  Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut is almost empty, so don't waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The cute young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird about thinking she's hot.

In your 50s: Stop what you’re doing. Put on a hat. Wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog poop in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember … the hat you’re wearing is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'

In your 60s: Stop what you’re doing. No need for a hat any more. Hose the dog poop off your shoes. Forget the mirror, it only shows pictures of some fat, bald guy. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on, so you're not sure.

In your 70s: Stop what you’re doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until you call the drug store to have your prescriptions ready for pickup, and check your grocery list for a quick stop there … got to save trips! You don't even notice the dog poop on your shoes. The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch… but who cares, anyhow.

In your 80s: Stop what you’re doing. Start again. Stop again. Remember you need to go to Home Depot. You go to Wal-Mart instead. You went to school with the old lady greeter. You wander around trying to remember what you’re looking for. Then you fart out loud and turn around thinking someone called your name.

In your 90s and beyond: What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Who farted?

Have a good day. Enjoy getting older ... for all the drawbacks, it's better than not getting older.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

National Library Week

Today is the second day of National Library Week, which is celebrated in the United States in the second full week of April. Sponsored by the American Library Association, the week calls attention to one of the most important and least appreciated elements of American culture - the public library.

This year, National Library Week focuses on the transformation of the library from a place for the storage and circulation of books to a place where people can come together to read, listen to the spoken word, watch movies, go online, and indulge in their creativity. 

Books are expensive, but public libraries are free - they are one of the great tax-subsidized* benefits available to us all. All the knowledge of the ages is at our fingertips, stored, indexed, and curated by professional librarians and volunteers dedicated to the preservation and sharing of knowledge. 

Make time this week to visit your local library, especially with your children or grandchildren. Whether you're looking for the latest thriller or more information about a topic in the news, it's one of the best ways you can spend your time. 

Have a good day. Read more. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* All you people who hate paying taxes need to just put a sock in it for a while.

Poetry Sunday

Since we're now well into the month of April, with Spring springing around us and Summer shimmering with promise on the horizon, I thought a poem about April would be appropriate ...

April Prayer

by Stuart Kestenbaum

Just before the green begins there is the hint of green
a blush of color, and the red buds thicken
the ends of the maple’s branches and everything
is poised before the start of a new world,
which is really the same world
just moving forward from bud
to flower to blossom to fruit
to harvest to sweet sleep, and the roots
await the next signal, every signal
every call a miracle and the switchboard
is lighting up and the operators are
standing by in the pledge drive we’ve
all been listening to: Go make the call.


Enjoy Spring. Get out and do your gardening, work in the yard, go for long walks. Make the call.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

In the words of J.R.R. Tolkien, time flows on to a spring of little hope* ...

The Senate GOP pushed the political Red Button on Thursday, exercising the so-called "nuclear option" to force a vote on Neil Gorsuch's appointment to the Supreme Court in the face of Democratic opposition; a woman in California was seriously injured this week when she fell 60 feet from a bridge while taking a selfie; legendary insult comic Don Rickles passed away at the age of 90, you hockey puck; in Stockholm, Sweden, a man hijacked a beer truck and used it to murder at least four people and injure many others when he drove it into a crowd; and Mr Trump hosted a visit by Chinese leader Xi Jinping at the "Southern White House**."

Lest I once again be accused of whining, I thought I'd move to a topic as timely as politics, but perhaps less sensitive to accusations of my failure properly to understand how the world works. Drone along with me as we look at cartoons about ... well ... drones ...

Even birds love the high-tech ladies ...

Good idea ...

What happens when nature wises up? ...

And the worst part of it is that the storks will also lose their health insurance ...

When drones go off the reservation ...

Migration or privacy invasion? ...

The next step in the technology of delivering pepper to your table ...

Dogs can take advantage of technology, too ...

How God plays Halo ...

Somebody is always offended about something ...

And there you have it ... Bilbo has droned on for yet another week, ha, ha.

It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day here in NoVa. Enjoy your own weekend, and be sure to come back tomorrow for Poetry Sunday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Gandalf, from The Fellowship of the Ring.

** Otherwise known as Mar-a-Lago, Mr Trump's lavish Florida resort.

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2017

It's getting both easier and harder to select recipients for my biweekly Ass Clown awards ... on the one hand, there are plenty of candidates to choose from, but on the other hand, their qualifications are so impressive*, that it's hard to single out one recipient at a time.

So I guess this time I'll just have to select two.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, it is with a mixture of awe and regret that I announce the dual winners of

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2017

Syrian President Bashar al Assad

and

Russian President Vladimir Putin

On Tuesday of this past week, 52 adults and at least 20 children were murdered by Syrian government forces in a chemical weapon attack on the city of Khan Sheikhoun. The use of such barbaric weapons against his own people - including children - marks the depravity of Mr Assad's rule, and the steadfast support of Russian President Putin for his actions indicates the morality and humanity of the dictator who has won the approval of Mr Trump.

Mr Putin and Mr Assad blame the Syrian opposition for the incident, while Mr Trump blames - who else? - former President Obama.

For their brutal and soulless war which includes the use of horrible chemical weapons against the Syrian people, Bashar al Assad and his Russian protector and facilitator, Vladimir Putin, are jointly named the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2017.

One hopes the light's being kept on for them at Hell's Motel 6.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday returns.

Bilbo

P.S. - By the way, Mr Trump has now attacked Syria. You will recall, of course, that he urged former President Obama not to do so. Blame is easy. Responsibility is hard. I hope this works out, but I have my doubts.

B.

* Sorry about the use of that word in this context, but I couldn't think of a better one.

National Teflon Day

No matter what you love or hate, support or oppose, there's probably a day, a week, or a month that has been dedicated to it. Today is no exception, being National Teflon Day.

National Teflon Day is observed each year on this date to honor the accidental invention of Teflon™ on April 6, 1938, by Dr. Roy Plunkett.

Teflon, officially known as polytetrafluoroethylene (or PTFE), is the generic name for a family of non-stick coatings often applied to cookware to aid in cleanup after food preparation. It is also widely used to reduce friction in various manufacturing processes and in products which benefit from the reduction of friction, such as steam irons, skis, plumbers' thread-sealing tape, and even dental fillings. It has also been applied to some types of ammunition in order to reduce wear on the rifling of firearms but does not, as has sometimes been claimed, improve the armor-piercing capabilities of the ammunition.

The slipperiness of Teflon, which allows it to protect objects by preventing potentially damaging substances to stick to them, has led to the use of the name to describe individuals who somehow consistently manage to avoid blame for their misdeeds. John Gotti, the former head of the Gambino crime family, was known as "The Teflon Don" for his ability to evade prosecution and conviction for his activities. And Mr Trump has clearly been triple-dipped in Teflon, which is the only possible reason he has consistently been able to avoid ostracism for his crude behavior, disproven lies, and exaggerations.

Happy National Teflon Day. We can always use a bit less friction.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Algocracy

Here's an interesting new word (new to me, anyhow) that popped up on WordSpy a while back: Algocracy (n): rule or government by algorithm*.

I hadn't thought about it before, but our lives are governed more and more by the results of algorithms - broadly defined as "step-by-step procedures for solving a problem or accomplishing some end, especially by a computer."

Our federal government has become an algocracy. Both of our political parties use algorithms to parse voter registration data and combine it with the use of sophisticated mapping technology to support the despicable process of gerrymandering, by which a party in power seeks to maximize the borders of Congressional districts to its advantage. That's why the so-called "Freedom Caucus" will be able to strangle government forever ... none of them will ever be voted out of their gerrymandered seats unless it's by someone even more intransigent than they are.

Big business is an algocracy as well. Specialized data mining and interpretation firms hoover up vast quantities of data and use algorithms to package and sell it to those who want to tailor their products or messages to specific audiences ... a much easier practice now that the GOP has empowered ISPs to freely sell your online browsing histories**. Consider the junk mail you receive (both online and via snail mail), the trash robo-calls you get, and the ads that appear on your browser as you surf the Internet - it's all designed and targeted by firms that collect and study information about you and use algorithms to sift it into useful guidelines for the delivery of advertising aimed specifically at you***.

Is this a good thing? I guess it depends.

For purposes of government, and specifically for the partisan manipulation of voting districts, I think it's terrible. For purposes of business, each of us has to make our own decision ... there is some value to having businesses be able to make us aware of products and services in which we might be interested, but that value comes at the cost of a loss of our privacy. I'm sure some people are okay with that, but I'm not.

But like it or not, the algocracy is here to stay. Better keep close tabs on your browser history.

Have a good day, by the numbers.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* You may have thought an algorithm was a song sung by a former vice president, but you'd have been wrong.

** “Any Member of Congress who thinks this bill is a good idea ought to release their personal browsing history to their constituents. It's only fair.” (Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN))

*** For instance, if you belong to AARP, chances are you'll get a lot of ads for Medicare supplemental insurance, prescription drugs, and long-term care insurance ... and funeral services and cemetery plots for when those don't work for you.