English as the National Language

Last week, Der Furor took time out from his busy schedule of bullying allies, enriching President Musk, breaking the government, and playing golf (at Mar-a-Lago, at your expense) to issue yet another royal decree executive order, this one titled "Designating English as the Official Language of The United States." Unlike most of the Orange Airhorn's other royal decrees executive orders, I could actually ... sort of ... support this one.

Section 1 (Purpose and Policy) of the order contains this justification:

"A nationally designated language is at the core of a unified and cohesive society, and the United States is strengthened by a citizenry that can freely exchange ideas in one shared language"

As one of the few people you probably know who actually has a degree in Linguistics (Penn State, 1973) and fluently speaks a second language, I have a lot of thoughts and opinions on the topic of language, and I completely agree that a common language is a unifying asset for a nation. To that extent, I agree with Der Furor's decree order. One of the things that enabled the United States to become a powerhouse nation was the early adoption of an common language - English - that allowed people of all races and national backgrounds to communicate with each other. Immigrants from dozens of countries speaking scores of languages were streaming into the new country, and the availability and widespread use of a common tongue helped them assimilate and work together to build the nation we know today.

I believe the fact that it was an unofficial common language was important - it fit in with the American idea of a government "by the people" who voluntarily used a common tongue because it was convenient and useful, not because it was mandated by a powerful ruler who commanded its use as a tool to enforce the rule of a dominant group.

But when members of a subculture insist on using their own language, rather than the unofficial common tongue, they drive a linguistic wedge between themselves and their fellow citizens, and make life difficult for both. Years ago, when my wife worked as a member service representative at a local credit union, she often had a lot of trouble helping members who spoke no English - mostly only Spanish or various African languages. This particularly irked her because she is herself German, and prides herself on her ability to read and write English better than many Americans*. How are these people able to function here? she would often ask rhetorically. 

So yes, I think there's a value in having a common national language, but I don't agree that establishing it by royal fiat is the way to go about it. Mandating rather than encouraging the use of English is an example of - gasp! - government overreach and encroachment on personal freedoms (hear that, GOP? Libertarians?), and accomplishes nothing that generations of new arrivals haven't figure out soon enough on their own.

All that said, I'm pleased that the Orange Airhorn has mandated English as the national language of the United States. It will make it easier for us to understand each other as we compare notes on his failures.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Including the sitting president. She was always amazed that her native-born American coworkers often asked her to review things they'd written to make sure they were correct.

The Alphabet Soup of Gender Identity

While I was doing the research for yesterday's post updating Der Furor's war on "gender ideology extremism," Mike pointed out another aspect of the issue that I hadn't thought about before, embodied in the question 

What is the longest LGBT acronym possible nowadays? 

It's an interesting question, and it relates to one of the reasons I believe Kamala Harris and the Democrats lost the presidential election: an over-emphasis on topics of gender identity inclusivity with which many Americans were uncomfortable. 

The term "LGBTQ+" is everywhere, and most of us probably can't define the gender identity terms it embodies. But as Mike helpfully pointed out, "LGBTQ+" doesn't even begin to address the entire spectrum of sexual and gender identity terms floating around out there ... as it happens, there are at least 109* (I didn't count them myself, but Mike did), and you can read about all of them here if you wish. 

When I was growing up in the 1950s and 60s, there were boys and girls. I vaguely understood that there were boys and girls who were ... well ... a little different, but it wasn't something that affected me, or that I thought very much about. The first time I personally faced the reality of the difference was when I was a 29 year old Air Force officer living in the American Arms, the single officers' hotel in Wiesbaden, Germany. I was attracted to a young woman of the same rank who was one of my neighbors, and spent weeks unsuccessfully trying to get a date with her. Eventually, a mutual female friend took me aside and gently let me know that while this woman liked me, she wasn't really interested in relationships with men.

I had finally come face to face with the "L."

Over the years since, I've met scores of people I came to know were lesbian, gay, or bisexual. As I noted in an earlier post, I have been "hit on" by other men, but dealt with it by simply telling them I'm not interested ... much as a certain lady in Wiesbaden let me know years ago. 

My point is simply that we've let ourselves get too wrapped around an unnecessarily painful axle. Like I said above, I think an over-emphasis on worshipping at the festooned altar of overly complicated gender identities helped cost the Democrats the 2024 election by harping on a topic that alienated too many voters who would otherwise have voted for Harris and Walz.

Regardless of which of the 109** different gender identities you identify with, you have to live in a world alongside the other 108. Deal with it. Quietly. We'll all be happier.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* At the moment, and subject to change.

** And counting.

Defining Sex, the Updated, Expanded, and Corrected Version

Last Wednesday, I wrote a post titled "Defining Sex," which looked at your government's new guidance on approved terminology for the sexes. This guidance was issued by Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr, to flesh out Der Furor's imperial decree Executive Order 14168 of January 20, 2025, titled Defending Women from Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government.  

I thought it was bad enough as it was, but fellow blogger Mike reminded me that the so-called "guidance" was, as are so many other things with the current administration, incomplete and poorly thought-out ... as he pointed out, many other important terms of sexual identity remain undefined. In order to help rectify this situation, I offer the following updates (in italics) to the previously-published terms, add other terms that the administration has not yet addressed, and add the additional information on sexual roles the religious and political buffoons leading this administration are thinking, but are not yet quite willing to say out loud: 

Sex: A person’s immutable biological classification as either male or female;

 

Female: a person of the sex characterized by a reproductive system with the biological function of producing eggs (ova). The naturally inferior and submissive sex.

 

Male: a person of the sex characterized by a reproductive system with the biological function of producing sperm. The naturally superior and dominant sex.

 

Woman: an adult human female, intended by nature to reproduce and to serve as a housewife. Appropriate social controls need to be placed on women for their protection.

 

Girl: a minor human female, learning her natural role as housewife and mother. Appropriate social controls need to be placed on girls for their protection.

 

Man: an adult human male, intended by nature to dominate the woman and serve as the sole protector and provider for his family;

 

Boy: a minor human male, learning his natural role as dominator, protector, and provider;

 

Mother: a female parent, responsible for bearing children and caring for her family by performing domestic tasks (cooking, cleaning, etc); 

 

Father: a male parent, head of the family, and responsible for ensuring that the mother and female children perform their tasks and that the male children learn to grow into their dominant role; 

The following terms were somehow missed in the original imperial decree executive order and implementing HHS guidance, and will no doubt be added in subsequent revisions: 

Husband: the adult male head of a family and of a household.

Wife: the adult female who manages a household under the guidance and supervision of a husband. 

Family: a social unit consisting of an adult male parent (father), an adult female parent (mother), and children of either or both sexes. The family ensures the propagation of the human species and trains children to assume the future roles appropriate to their sex.  

Parent: an adult male (father, head of the family) or female (mother) who ensures the propagation of the species and the education of children for their proper social roles.

Child: the generic offspring of parents, regardless of sex.  

Son: the male offspring of a parent, who learns his role as the dominant sex and master of a future family from the male parent.

Daughter: the female offspring of a parent, who learns from the mother her submissive role as the bearer of  children and manager of the household of a future family led by a husband. 

Grandmother: an adult human female, the mother of a child's parent, responsible for assisting the mother in the education and rearing of female children for their place as future child bearers and performers of routine household duties; 

Grandfather: an adult human male, the father of a child's parent, responsible for assisting the father in the education and rearing of male children to assume their place as future dominators, protectors, and providers.

 If I've forgotten any other ones, let me know.

And if you haven't read "The Handmaid's Tale" and "1984," now would be a good time to do it.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo 

Poetry Sunday

It's easier to be poor but honest than rich but honest, if you ask me ...

Poor But Honest

by Anonymous

She was poor, but she was honest,

   Victim of the squire's whim:

First he loved her, then he left her,

   And she lost her honest name.

Then she ran away to London,

   For to hide her grief and shame;

There she met another squire,

   And she lost her name again.

See her riding in her carriage,

   In the Park and all so gay:

All the nibs and nobby persons

   Come to pass the time of day.

See the little old-world village

   Where her aged parents live,

Drinking the champagne she sends them;

   But they never can forgive.

In the rich man's arms she flutters,

   Like a bird with broken wing:

First he loved her, then he left her,

   And she hasn't got a ring.

See him in the splendid mansion,

   Entertaining with the best,

While the girl that he has ruined,

   Entertains a sordid guest.

See him in the House of Commons,

   Making laws to put down crime,

While the victim of his passions

   Trails her way through mud and slime.

Standing on the bridge at midnight,

   She says: 'Farewell, blighted Love.'

There's a scream, a splash-Good Heavens!

   What is she a-doing of?

Then they drag her from the river,

   Water from her clothes they wrang,

For they thought that she was drownded;

   But the corpse got up and sang:

'It's the same the whole world over;

   It's the poor that gets the blame,

It's the rich that get the pleasure.

   Isn't it a blooming shame?'

Yes, it is a blooming shame ... especially when your government is owned by the ultra-wealthy who believe poverty is a choice and safety nets are a waste of money unless they provide safety for big business.

Have a good day, enjoy the rest of your weekend, and be thankful for what you have.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

History Repeats Itself

One of the most depressing things about being interested in history lies in recognizing when it repeats itself.

It happened yesterday, when Der Furor and "Vice-President" Vance ambushed and berated Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy on live television during an Oval Office meeting. The cheap schoolyard bullying of an ally fighting for his nation's life was appalling, cast our nation in the worst possible light, and mirrored the actions of a different autocratic bully that took place over a hundred years ago.

As the world spiraled toward World War II in the late 1930's, Nazi German dictator Adolf Hitler treated two European leaders to the same savage bullying used by Der Furor on President Zelenskyy. 

The first was Hitler’s ambush and relentless bullying of Austrian Chancellor Kurt Schussnig in February of 1938, as he sought to absorb Austria into the German Reich. You can read about it here, and there's also a dramatic report of it in William Shirer's classic history The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich.

Chancellor Schussnig was not the only European leader to suffer Hitler's bullying abuse. A year later, in March of 1939, Czech President Emil Hacha was bullied into a nervous breakdown by the Nazi leader ... an event also dramatically recounted in Shirer's history.

It's the lowest hanging of fruit to compare the Orange Airhorn to Adolf Hitler, one of the most terrible dictators in history, but in the embarrassing and despicable bullying of the President of Ukraine, history has clearly repeated itself.

The despicable behavior of Der Furor and "Vice-President" Vance, and the shameless toadying of Secretary of State Marco Rubio, whose embarrassing version of what we all saw on live television would be laughable were it not so shabby, have driven yet another nail into the lid of the coffin containing what's left of our national honor and dignity.

Have a good day, and reflect that our nation has turned from reliable ally and defender of the weak to the international equivalent of a cheap, ugly bully. 

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

The last eleven days of January and all 28 days of February sucked. Now we have March to look forward to ...

Der Furor and "Vice President" JD Vance berated Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy in an astonishing display of crude bullying in the Oval Office, accusing the Ukrainian president of being "disrespectful" and of not being sufficiently thankful for previous US aid; during his visit to the White House on Monday, French President Emanuel Macron provided reality lessons to a scowling Der Furor who slumped scowling in his chair at the sort of rebuke he's not used to hearing; an unvaccinated school-aged child died in Texas from measles - the first death since the dangerous disease was thought to have been eradicated in 2000; Andrew and Tristan Tate, misogynistic "influencers" who had been in prison in Romania on suspicion of human trafficking and rape, were released and allowed to return to the United States, apparently on the request of Der Furor's administration; and federal officials have cancelled a Food and Drug Administration vaccine advisory committee meeting scheduled for March to select the strains to be included in next season’s flu shot - in the middle of a particularly severe flu season in which 86 children and 19,000 adults have already died. 

This week, in honor of the imperial aspirations of Der Furor, a collection of cartoons about kings ... 

Der Furor picks his advisors the same way ...

Well, he would, wouldn't he? ...

It's one of Der Furor's policies, too ...

There are Super PACs for kings, too ...

Incoming!! ...

Fun for some, sure ...

How Musk went from crown prince to king ...

It's all in what you care about ...

Der Furor is asking this every day ...

Not any more ... the United States is asking for tips on better dictatorship ...

And that's it for today's royal edition of Cartoon Saturday ... you may kowtow on your way out.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when we visit someone at the other end of the economic and political spectrum.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

It's the last day of the month, and time for another collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage to help get you in a good mood for the coming of ... gasp! ... March. Let's go ...

I've heard that this bank can't be beat - it offers a lot of good rates to rope you in ...

I think they may have gotten the advertising for their chastity belt division confused with the advertising for the bra division ...

Well, they're not wrong ...

I think someone slept through their geography classes ...

Somehow, I'm not surprised ...

I think this caption writer needs a raise ...

I wonder if this is human trafficking hiding in plain sight ...

I think that ICE will be ordering as many of these as they can ...

A slightly-used and housebroken sheep ... and for free! I think I'll pass, though ...

Speaking of used sheep ...

And that's it for the end-of-February editorial gems ... I hope they gave you a bit of a lift at a tough time in our nation's history.

Have a good day, and be sure to come back tomorrow to greet March with a new Cartoon Saturday - more thoughts then.

Bilbo

"America First," or "America Worst?"

President Musk, Der Furor, and their hand-picked stooges are fond of trumpeting that their agenda puts "America First." This ignores the fact that the slogan "America First" has a sketchy history in this country, being tied to the eponymous isolationist and pro-German movement of the 1930’s, culminating in the infamous pro-Nazi rally at Madison Square Garden on February 20, 1939 ... 

Understandably, today's hyperconservatives have a different take on the earlier America First movement, focusing more on its domestic agenda and less on its pro-fascist history.

Let's be honest, though.

National leaders have a responsibility to put the interests of their nation first. You don't get to be president of your country by telling the voters you care more about the interests of a different country.

But in a world divided into 195 independent, self-governing nations - 193 UN member states, plus two non-member observer states (the Holy See and the State of Palestine) - it seems unlikely that peace could prevail if every one of those 195 nations ruthlessly pursued its interests without acknowledging the legitimate interests of anyone else. The general goal of international diplomacy since the end of World War II has been to achieve "win-win" outcomes of disputes whenever possible. Naturally, such outcomes don't always work (see Nazi Germany, Imperial Japan, and the Former Soviet Union), but they're the desired goal.

Unless, of course, you have a completely transactional autocratic ruler like Der Furor, for whom a "win-win" outcome is considered a loss ... for the Orange Airhorn, it's not enough just to win - you have to win so decisively that your opponent is humiliated and your power is not just acknowledged, but feared.

This is why Der Furor has insulted and cast aside our longest and most faithful allies - the very thought that we might someday need the help of someone else, or that the United States might have to use some of its awesome power to help a less fortunate nation is an abomination to the ultimate transactional ruler. And lest any other nation think that they should stand up to the mighty United States, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth misses no opportunity to remind everyone that he's fielding the mightiest, most lethal, most "badass*" force in history.

We have gone, in the span of just over a month, from "America First" - the nation that the rest of the world looked up to, respected, and admired as a trustworthy, generous guarantor of peace and stability - to "America Worst" - a noisy, ugly bully that turns its back on its friends and gleefully kisses Vladimir Putin's backside.

Have a good day. Don't support either "America First" or "America Worst" - support "America at its Best."

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* This is a rather crude descriptor, but one suited to the imperial posturing of his boss ... who, himself, never bothered to serve in a military he viewed as filled with "suckers and losers."

Defining Sex

One of the first things Robert F. Kennedy, Jr, did when he took the helm of the Department of Health and Human Services was to issue departmental guidance to expand on Der Furor's royal decree executive order titled "Defending Women from Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government." The royal decree executive order actually had little to do with either "defending women" or restoring "biological truth" ... it was simply a chunk of raw meat tossed to the religious right as a reward for their support and proof that Der Furor sympathizes with the terrible cross they bear by being "forced" to coexist with people they hate.

Your President Musk's federal government has established the following officially-approved definitions as government policy*:

Sex: A person’s immutable biological classification as either male or female.

 

Female: a person of the sex characterized by a reproductive system with the biological function of producing eggs (ova).

 

Male: a person of the sex characterized by a reproductive system with the biological function of producing sperm.

 

Woman: an adult human female.

 

Girl: a minor human female.

 

Man: an adult human male.

 

Boy: a minor human male.

 

Mother: a female parent.

 

Father: a male parent.

Now, I don't want to chase too far down this rabbit hole, but here are a few of my candid observations ...

1. I'm a 73-year-old man, the father of three and grandfather of six. I understand how the biological function of sex for reproduction works. It's fun and, in my case, I like to think it's worked amazingly well.

2. I have never been attracted sexually to another man, although I know that there are men who are so attracted. I don't understand it (given the vast number of desirable women out there, and the spectacular one to whom I'm married), but I accept it.

3. I have been "hit on" by other men. Instead of screaming in terror, seeing the end of the world, and howling for pejorative litigation, I've simply told them I'm not interested. It works.

4. I have male friends that I know are gay or bisexual and female friends I know are lesbian or bisexual. I don't care. I can relate to them as friends without worrying about who they want to sleep with. Live and let live is not a bad policy.

5. Growing up, regardless of whether you're a boy or a girl, is hard. There are all sorts of complicated lessons to be learned about becoming an adult, making your way in the world, and relating to the opposite sex without being surrounded by howling mobs of people who insist on having a vote on who you choose to love.

6. Too many people spend entirely too much time clutching their pearls about something that affects a very small minority of the population. I'm an old guy ... when I have to pee, I really don't care if somebody else in the rest room with me used to be a woman. I understand that a woman may have a different take on this ... but unless the other person in the rest room with you is obviously a big, hairy dumbass who self-identifies as an "alpha male**," you should probably just each do your business and move on. 

There's more to the idea of sex and gender than I ever imagined as a teenager desperately trying to get dates with cute girls. I've learned to live with the complications. So can you.

Have a good day. Treat other people with the same respect you'd like to enjoy. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* You'd think we'd have more of a need for policies to address climate change (hurricanes, tornadoes, wildfires, droughts, etc), pandemics, rising authoritarianism, nuclear proliferation, extreme economic inequality, unhinged presidents, and other such existential threats than to address gender identity. But what do I know?

** Often known by the more scientifically descriptive term, "dumbass."

Ass Clown Special Award

We've made it almost to the end of February without making an out-of-cycle Ass Clown Special Award, but the time has come. The horrifying implosion of the US government, the deliberate insulting and abandonment of our allies, and the complete destruction of our international reputation require us to present the first

Ass Clown Special Award

 

of 2025 to both 

The Republican Party

and

The Democratic Party

The Republican Party, once the party of strong defense and resolute international leadership, has become the cowed lapdog of a president whose shamelessly servile deference to Russian President Vladimir Putin and insulting treatment of our allies has utterly destroyed the nation's international stature. From voting in lockstep to confirm a slate of unqualified candidates for Cabinet positions to keeping silent in the face of presidential behavior far beyond any limits of honesty, legality, morality, and common decency, the GOP has squandered whatever honor it may once have had. It completely ignores two and a half centuries of constitutional government and rule of law to empower a wannabe king whose throne was purchased by his billionaire friend.

The Democratic Party, faced with the challenge of an out-of-control president and a GOP racing toward fascism and rule by an angry religious minority, has folded like a cheap card table. With the notable exception of outspoken leaders like Bernie Sanders, Chris Murphy, AOC, Elizabeth Warren, and Jamie Raskin, the Democrats are nowhere to be found pushing back against the most dangerous threat to the Republic since the Civil War. They have no coherent message and no strategy to counter the flood of outright lies and illegality flooding from the right. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries scarcely deserve the title of "Leader" as they flail in a helpless, reactive mode against a criminal, but strongly disciplined majority party.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, this Ass Clown Special Award is presented to the Republican Party, for its headlong rush to ruin the nation at home and abroad, and to the Democratic Party, for allowing them to do it.

I'm old enough to have proudly served in the military of a strong, confident, admired nation that has, sadly, been all but ruined by the major political parties. I weep for what my grandchildren will inherit.

Have a good day. Expect better and vote accordingly. 

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo