Wednesday, January 30, 2008

And If I Am Elected...

Several of my regular readers, who have obviously been hitting the well-fermented cider, have suggested that I run for president. The clear implication is that I couldn't possibly do any worse than the current occupant of the White House; nevertheless, I'm flattered that Serina Hope, Mike, and John all think I ought to make a try for the Oval Office.

So...assuming I were to run for president, what would I promise (because you can't be a candidate without promising everyone something)?


A chicken in every pot and a car in every garage? Nah...already done.

Free beer? Well, that'll get me the votes of both my brothers and everyone in my office, but won't really contribute much toward a majority in the Electoral College.

How about something really radical...

I promise, if elected, to talk to - not at - the American people.

In line with the observation that we have two ears and only one mouth, I promise to listen twice as much as I talk.

I promise to follow a foreign policy based on what's best for America...not what's pushed by special interest blocs or advocates of the needs of any other nation.

I promise to use the word illegal at every opportunity when discussing our out-of-control illegal immigration problem.

I promise an administration based on common sense and sound moral principles...not on the tides of political correctness or the dictates of a specific religion.

I promise to focus on the needs of the Real People of America...the ones who go to work every day, care for their families, pay taxes, and worry about Real Issues like affordable health care, affordable housing, and safe streets.

I realize that a list of promises like this invalidates me as an electable candidate in an era of political correctness, moral relativity, and the need to pander to every splinter group and religious sect. But I think it's what I'd like to hear a real candidate - one that I can support - promise.

I'm not holding my breath.

I leave you with this picture, borrowed from Miss Cellania's blog this morning:

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.



The Mistress of the Dark said...

Oh man...I love that picture. I think I'm going to vote for you. I guess you're running as an independent right :)

Have a great Wednesday :)

Amanda said...

I like that picture too!

You'll have to let me know if there is some way that a non American can vote for you to be President!

I look forward to your speeches as future President. I'm sure they'll be much funnier and more interesting than what goes on now ;) Make sure you still have time for blogging!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You've got my vote!

Serina Hope said...

I would definetly vote for you. I just wish that we could have a candidate say some of these things.