Of Terrorists and Nipple Rings

You may have seen this story on CNN, or on one of the other news outlets. The Reader's Digest version of the story is that the guardians of our ability to travel safely, the TSA, recently forced a female traveler to remove her nipple rings - but not her navel ring - in order to proceed through security to board her flight. Nipple rings apparently not being designed for easy removal (not that I know much about the topic), the woman had to use a pair of pliers and suffer great pain and humiliation in order to endure the sheer joy of modern air travel.

Leaving aside for a moment the obvious question of why a sane human being would want to pierce her nipples in the first place, this unfortunate incident illustrates the ridiculous lengths to which we have been driven by fear of terrorism, not to mention the death of common sense in 21st century America.

The lady in question, when her nipple rings set off the airport metal detectors, apparently offered to submit to a private visual search or pat-down by a female security officer to prove that she was not carrying an explosive bosom. This right (which the TSA's own regulations permit) was evidently denied, and the lady suffered needless pain and humiliation.

This ranks right up there with our discussion the other day of the fellow who shot his wife while trying to drill a hole in a wall with a .22 caliber pistol. What's wrong with people nowadays? In the immortal words of Ripley in the movie Aliens, "Did IQ's just drop sharply while I was away?" Consider all the questions this incident raises:

1. Why didn't the TSA follow its own rules?

2. Why didn't the TSA supervisor who was summoned exercise a little common sense?

3. How will my security be enhanced by the inevitable lawsuit which will follow this incident, which will no doubt result in a large cash settlement to the aggrieved lady? Wouldn't that money be better spent on measures which really enhance our security? And by the way, don't forget that you and I as taxpayers are the ones who will ultimately be paying the lady.

4. Why would someone want their nipples pierced, anyhow?

I fly fairly often, and thus have a vested interest in the security of the air traffic system. I have been willing to accept the many delays and indignities inherent in our approach to ensuring this security. But I expect the people who are responsible for security planning to evaluate the risks and take appropriate measures to minimize them. Risk management involves a balancing of threats and countermeasures...it's impossible to protect against everything, and so rational decisions must be made on what to look for and defend against.

For the record, the TSA has admitted that proper procedures weren't followed, although they point out that they are "...well aware of terrorists' interest in hiding dangerous items in sensitive areas of the body. Therefore, we (TSA) have a duty to the American public to resolve any alarm that we discover." This is, of course, prudent. But so is common sense in the performance of a difficult job.

I will feel much better on my next flight, knowing that the lady sitting next to me won't be packing heat in her bra. Nevertheless, you can be sure that I will be carefully observing the potentially dangerous breasts of ladies from now on.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo