Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Coming Soon to Your Neighborhood Bar...

When Agnes and I took our first cruise, one of the things we found we enjoyed doing was sitting in the lounge before dinner to sip a nice cocktail. The ship had a vast drink menu, and the bartender could mix up just about anything you could name.

And there are some drinks out there with odd names, to be sure. "Fuzzy Navel," "Boilermaker," "Virgin Mary" (a non-alcoholic "Bloody Mary"), "Sex on the Beach," and "Suffering Bastard," to name just a few. Yesterday, the matchless Miss Cellania published a list of Drinks for the 21st Century that was just too good not to share. In any event, facing the evening news is much easier with a drink in your hand. And so, coming soon to your favorite watering hole (with my favorites asterisked), are...

Absolute Zero = Absolut vodka over frozen nitrogen

* Alexander the Grrreat = Gin, creme de cacao, and sweet cream over corn flakes

American in Paris = Kentucky bourbon and champagne

Black Sabbath = Kahlua and Mogen David wine

* Blind Faith = Wood alcohol and sacramental wine

Blood Clot = Vodka, tomato juice, and Jell-O

Bloody Awful = Vodka and ketchup

Blue Moon = Corn whiskey and Aqua Velva

Brown Bowl = Vodka and Prune Juice

Coleman Cooler = White wine, soda, fried chicken crumbs, and sand

* Fuzzy Naval Base = Peach schnapps, orange juice, and ammonia

George Bush = George Dickel bourbon and Busch beer

Gorbachev = Vodka with a splash of port wine

* Honeydew the Dishes = Midori and Dawn

Marie Antoinette = Bourbon, cake mix, and flat beer

Martinizer = Gin, vermouth, and carbon tetrachloride

Mary Poppins = Vodka, tomato juice, and a spoonful of sugar

* Mexican Hairless = Tequila and Minoxidil

* Oil of Ole = Mazola and Sangria

Peter, Paul, and Mary = Potassium nitrate, Paul Masson wine, and tomato juice

* Phillips' Screwdriver = Vodka, orange juice, and milk of magnesia

Port in a Storm = Red wine and rainwater

* Quack Doctor = Cold duck and Dr. Pepper

* A Rum with a View = Bacardi and Visine

Rum-Pole of the Bailey = Bacardi rum, Popov vodka, and Bailey's Irish Cream

Sake-to-Me = Rice wine, punch, and nitrous oxide

* Scotch Tapeworm = Dewar's and Mescal

Shipwreck = Cutty Sark on the rocks

Short Wave = Ripple in a shot glass, ginger, syrup, and pomegranate

* Sinead O'Connor = Irish whiskey and Nair (I think this one's hysterical!)

* Skid Roe = Muscatel and caviar

Sour Kraut = Schnapps and lemon juice

Sundae Driver = Vodka, orange juice, and ice cream

Tequila Mockingbird = Jose Cuervo and birdseed

Anyone have any other ideas? The possibilities are endless...

Bottoms up!

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

5 comments:

The Mistress of the Dark said...

LOL @ Sinaed O'Connor!

John said...

Very funny. i know that it shows my sick sense of humor, nut i thought the Brown bowl and Phillip's screwdriver were great!

John said...

Okay, so it's supposed to say--but I thought...

Mike said...

Skid Roe makes me sick just thinking about it.

Leslie David said...

These sound downright disgusting.