Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Listening to Mom

In the context of our ongoing discussion of health care reform and the uninformed morons who are howling around the fringes of that important topic, I was interested to find this article on CNN yesterday: Mom Wasn't Always Right: Nine Updated Health Rules.

If you can't trust Mom, who can you trust?

Anyhow, it seems that some of the rules our mothers imposed on us as we grew up make sense, and some don't. Here is the lineup, with (of course) my commentary...

1. Eat more! Kids are starving (in Africa, Asia, etc)! True enough, although kids nowadays eat too much, don't get enough exercise, and too many are...well...fat. New advice: let the kids eat just until they're satisfied, and don't push them to eat more. And give them fewer desserts and more veggies.

2. Don't sit so close to the TV...you'll ruin your eyes! False. You may get eye strain, but the primary damage for sitting in front of the TV is brain damage from the stupid programming and headaches from listening to idiots on talk shows.

3. Don't read in the dark! Good advice. It leads to eyestrain and can, over time, promote nearsightedness. Of course, if you're reading anything written by Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, or Nancy Pelosi, you can gain more useful knowledge from reading it in pitch blackness.

4. Don't frown...you'll get wrinkles! You might. But you'll get worse wrinkles from too much time in the sun without sunblock, or from sucking on cigarettes. In any case, it's better to smile more, even when the times don't give you all that much to smile about.

5. Sit up straight! Now that's good advice. Good posture helps your breathing and promotes good muscle alignment. Encouraging your kids to exercise will also help.

6. That music is too loud! It probably is. I often see young people on the bus who are playing music on their iPods so loudly that it bothers everyone around them. Channeled directly into their ears by earbuds, it can lead to hearing loss later in life. And angry glares from those around them.

7. We're having dinner together because that's what families do! A chance for everyone to sit down at the table is a good thing. It promotes the sharing of experiences and encourages everyone to take the time to eat a good, balanced meal. Assuming, of course, that Mom knows how to cook...

8. Eat your breakfast! True. A good breakfast provides the fuel to get the day started, and studies show that students who eat breakfast tend to do better academically. I suspect that most people who participate in tea parties and anti-government demonstrations don't eat breakfast.

9. Put on a coat...you'll catch a cold! No you won't. But you will get cold, and if it's more important to show what a manly stud you are by not wearing a coat, go for it. Maybe you look better in goosebumps.

Bonus entry...

10. Don't do that, or you'll go blind! Um...on second thought, we'll skip this one.

Listen to Mom's advice. She may not always be right, but she always has your best interests at heart. And someday, you'll wish she were there.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.



Bandit said...

Thanks Mom.

John said...

Mom for President!

Amanda said...

Oh No! I have heard myself say all of these except for #9 and #10.

Bandit said...

Mike will be putting out a new golf instruction video. For only 9.99 he will teach you his secret on how to skip the ball over the water for a par.

Anonymous said...

Most people, judging by the sales of spectacles, only do it until they need glasses.

Now you know why so many people favor contacts!

Eminence Grise

Mike said...

You forgot 'don't run with scissors'.

@Bandit - I'll take whatever works. And it was only 3 skips. Not like it was 10 or something crazy like that.

Wv: messen - What Bilbo's doing with me. I can see just fine.

SusieQ said...

"I suspect that most people who participate in tea parties and anti-government demonstrations don't eat breakfast."

It is one thing to call these tea party people a bunch of racists, but to suggest that they don't eat breakfast...WELL, THAT'S GOING TOO FAR!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Its not nice to make me hurt myself from laughing this much.