Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Secession Options

In the wake of the reelection of President Obama, large numbers of hysterical ultraconservative Republicans have decided that the appropriate response to losing the election is to secede from the United States. This is the same thoughtful, adult response that was common with Democrats after the reelection of George W. Bush back in 2008, demonstrating that brainless ass-clownery is not limited by political affiliation. Don't like the popular vote outcome - secede! After all, look how well it worked out for the Old Confederacy.

But before we condemn out of hand the dumbassity of those who would run screaming for the national exits because things didn't go their way, perhaps there is a realistic option for those who would rather live in the idyllic, utopian United States of the 19th century, rather than the complicated and messy world of today ...

I call your attention to this fascinating article: Huge Mars Colony Eyed by SpaceX Founder Elon Musk.

According to the article, the founder of the SpaceX commercial space flight company envisions a colony of up to 80,000 people on the Red Planet. SpaceX CEO Elon Musk was quoted as saying, "At Mars, you can start a self-sustaining civilization and grow it into something really big."

If nothing else, major Republican immigration would give new meaning to the description of Mars as "The Red Planet."

Think of the advantages for the secession-minded:

No problem with illegal immigration, because undesirables would not be able to afford the $500,000 cost of passage.

No need to pay taxes imposed by the perfidious and profligate US government, which would in any case be more than 140 million miles away.

Guns for everyone ... a necessity for protection against unfriendly Martians.

No need to worry about health care, because only healthy people would be allowed to make the trip.

And that's just for starters!

If you or one of your friends has signed one of the popular pro-secession petitions, act now! For only $500,000 you can move to the ultimate Red State ... Mars ... where you can enjoy the American Dream without the annoyance of actually being American ...

Don't let the door hit you in the backside on your way out.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.



John A Hill said...

Great! Now we'll have red planets and blue planets!

eViL pOp TaRt said...

A very interesting idea, but will here be Wal-Marts and barbecue joints?

Remember the United States - Jesusland meme from 2004?

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I don't recall it being that bad when W won. I think we should let them leave...After all, some of these red states are the ones with the highest need for gov't assistence

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I say - let 'em go.they will just kill one another and we'll be done with the ass hats. Gee that was compassionate wasn't it? :-)

Banana Oil said...

Most states cannon make it on their own as countries.

Mike said...

And no backsies.

Duckbutt said...

The whole secession thing seems to have been an internet happening, a buch of people signing petitions. In no case has any bill been placed in a state legislature to start a process of secession. We even have people signing two peitions to have Austin and El Paso secede from Texas.