Thursday, November 01, 2012

Things I Can't Take Seriously


From the Department of Shameless Plagiarism comes this idea for a blog post, courtesy of my friend and former co-worker Jeff.

Yesterday, Jeff posted on his Facebook page a list of things he finds difficult to take seriously. I thought that, despite our positions on opposite ends of the political spectrum, his list was remarkably good, and I decided to seize the idea and use it to generate my own list. And so, Dear Readers, here is the (greatly abridged) list of Things Bilbo Finds Hard to Take Seriously, with my inevitable comments (items which overlap Jeff's list are in italics) ...

Weight Loss Pills - who can believe in this stuff? The only thing weight loss pills are guaranteed to help you lose is money.

Super Political Action Committees - any organization that's dedicated to buying elections while hiding the identity of the people who are buying can't be taken seriously ... but should.

PETA - Yes, we should treat animals humanely. No, we shouldn't act like utter morons while doing it.

The National Rifle Association - Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Of course, they usually use guns to do it, but why worry about that? - the Second Amendment says it's absolutely, positively, undeniably, and unchangeably right and proper.

Political Ads - Why spend all that money telling me what a bum the other guy is? I want to know what you stand for and what you will do. The fact that you can't or won't tell me tells me all I need to know about you.

Playing the "Race Card" - you can be black, white, brown, red, yellow, or any combination thereof and still be a despicable ass clown.

The UN - Not a bad idea in theory, but reduced to near irrelevance by political grandstanding.

Code Pink - Well, at least it gives clueless dumbasses something to rally around.

Shampoo Instructions - lather, rinse, repeat ... who the hell does that except shampoo manufacturers looking to double their sales?

North Korea - Let 'em eat nukes.

Unhinged Pro-Choice and Pro-Life Protesters - As if the social, moral, and ethical issues weren't tough enough, we get to listen to hysterical baboons scream past each other while doing absolutely nothing to solve the underlying problems.

Religious Bigots - worshiping God while dumping on their fellow man. That Motel 6 in the clouds ain't keeping the lights on for you.

Donald Trump - Absolute, undeniable proof that possession of huge amounts of money simply marks the dividing line between odious gasbags and rich, odious gasbags. 

The Democratic and Republican National Committees - living, breathing examples of the replacement of sound, principled governance with sordid power grabs.

Well, that's my starting list ... what's on yours? Leave me a comment.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

4 comments:

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Let's see......
PeTA and the NRA, for sure....
Hollywood types championing political causes......breast-enhancement pills or exercises....Ted Nugent....political ads.....Iran

I may add others later.

Kristen Lavransdrittsekkdatter said...

The Green Party
Liberterians
Karl Rowe
Rush Limbaugh
Religious bigots
Gun nuts and militia joiners
Lutefisk eating

Duckbutt said...

Where to start?

Radio talk show hosts, newspaper editorials, the two major political parties, believers in Creation Science, PETA, the anti-vaccination or inoculation crowd, political ads, patent medicine claims, reformers, the NCAA, etc.

I can't omit the Trumpster. Or Paul Krugman.

Sports page hype.

Mike said...

How about .... the human race in general.