Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Of Secession and Poopy Heads

When the going gets tough, the tough ... secede?

Yes, Dear Readers, with the post-election apocalypse upon us, large numbers of Americans in at least 23 states are exercising their constitutional right to act like hysterical idiots by submitting petitions for their states to secede from the Union. Here is a brief message for these concerned individuals from their Uncle Sam:

And here is a similar message from the Director of the conservative Centennial Institute at Colorado Christian University, quoted in the article linked above: "Anyone who wants their state to secede from the union is someone whose brain has already seceded from their body.”

Most of the many media discussions of the flood of secession petitions note that rumblings of secession are not new. For example, they are a cherished tradition in Texas, which still believes it is a quasi-independent republic, rather than simply a "state" ... which would imply that the Lone Star State is not the center of a Copernican political universe. Texas politicians routinely flirt with threats of secession, insisting that the state could exist perfectly well without all that meddling from a distant federal government that, after all, contributes absolutely nothing to the economic life of the state. Well, except for all those military bases.

Go figure.

In other news, as Congress grits its teeth and collectively realizes that it may actually have to make some tough compromises on economic policy, anti-tax gadfly Grover Norquist* has come up with a new explanation for why - against all confident predictions from conservative pundits - President Obama won reelection: he managed to convince voters that Mitt Romney was a "poopy head." You can hear this insightful analysis at about 1:50:

And there you have it! Secede from the Union and get rid of the malign influence of all the poopy heads in Washington and all will be well. Brilliant.

Don't let the door hit you in the backside on your way out.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.


* Winner of our Ass Clown of the Month Award for July, 2011.


The Mistress of the Dark said...

Couldn't we let them go and take on Puerto Rico

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Among the states that have a petition to secede is that former Confederate State, New York.

This sounds like a well-organized prank. Maybe some radio commentator is behind it, or the Silly Season is occurring later this year.

What next: poltical panty raids? Or is that for Thoroughly Modern Major Generals only?

The Bastard King of England said...

The cranks are out in force,

Mike said...

All the cry babies should just go back to where their ancestors came from. Except I don't think Europe wants these poopy heads either.