Sunday, May 05, 2013

In Which We Name a New "Ass Clown of the Month"

It's been a month since we last presented the coveted Ass Clown of the Month award to Republican Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky for his principled, high-road approach to shutting down potential opposition to his reelection. Since then there have been many worthy candidates clamoring for attention and the ACOM designation. The Senate was an early favorite, based on the strength of its spineless cave to the gun lobby in defeating every single attempt to reduce gun violence, but it's been edged out by the amazing display of overheated rhetoric displayed by the two individuals who have tied - yes tied - for the award for this month. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the joint winners of the Ass Clown of the Month Award for May, 2013:

"Great Successor" and "Respected General"
Kim Jong-un of North Korea

and, in a repeat of his spectacular performance in winning the Ass Clown of the Year Award for 2012,

National Rifle Association Executive Vice President
Wayne LaPierre

For their proven mastery of ridiculously paranoid, over-the-top rhetoric geared to getting the maximum amount of attention with the minimum amount of rational thought and behavior, Mr Kim ("throw all enemies into a cauldron, break their waists and crush their windpipes!") and Mr LaPierre ("We are in the midst of a once-in-a-generation fight for everything we care about. We have a chance to secure our freedom for a generation, or to lose it forever. We must remain vigilant, ever resolute, and steadfastly growing and preparing for the even more critical battles that loom before us.") share the May 2013 honor as Ass Clown of the Month.

Well done, gentlemen! May you rise to ever-higher levels of lofty buffoonery.

As for the rest of this day, Agnes and I will be heading out shortly to cheer on our friends who are competing in the final day of the Washington Open DanceSport Competition, followed by a few hours of (hopefully) just chilling and relaxing after yesterday's marathon of ziplining, soccer playing*, musical chairs, and other activities utterly unsuitable for the over-60 crowd with our local grandchildren. I hurt in places I'd forgotten I had places ... good thing Ben-Gay ointment comes in 55-gallon drums.

Have a good day. More thoughts on Tuesday.


* Actually, more like racing around the yard, flailing at a large ball and laughing hysterically.


eViL pOp TaRt said...

That 'You Must Be This Tall' picture and Kim Jong-Un is hilarious, precious, and so much on target! You've seelcted a pair of drama queens!

Hell Hound said...

I like your choices.

Mike said...

Here's to chilling and relaxing.