Friday, July 17, 2015

The Left Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2015

Yes, Dear Readers, it's time once again to take a cruise through the news and identify a worthy recipient for the second of three Ass Clown awards this month (yes, this is the first month since I went to the Left-Cheek/Right Cheek format that we've had three Fridays ... so you'll need to come back in two weeks and see how we cite the third recipient, there being only two cheeks on the average backside. Any ideas?

This month, I have decided to present the Left Cheek award to someone who, arguably, could have qualified for a Darwin Award instead.

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown Award for July, 2015
is presented
Devon Staples

On July 4th of this year Mr Staples, who was celebrating the holiday with the traditional American mixture of beer and explosives, placed a reloadable firework-launching mortar tube atop his head and lit the fuse, with predictable results. According to Mr Staples' brother Cody, who witnessed the scene, "There was no rushing him to the hospital. There was no Devon left when I got there."

Mr Staples' death was reported to have been the first fireworks fatality in Maine since state lawmakers in 2012 voted to repeal a 1949 law banning fireworks, reasoning the industry would create jobs and generate revenue. In this case, it certainly generated revenue for the funeral industry.

For his poor choice in combining alcohol, explosives, and garden-variety stupidity, Devon Staples is posthumously named as our Left Cheek Ass Clown for 2015.

Don't try this at home.

Have a good day. See you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday.



eViL pOp TaRt said...

He was monumental in his stupidity. A good choice! Even an ordinary citizen can make Ass Cheek; he doesn't have to be a politician!

allenwoodhaven said...

A sad situation, to be sure. I see all kinds of faulty reasoning but can only ask, "What in the world was he thinking?!" No doubt alcohol was involved...

As for the third ass clown of the month I suggest, though it be a bit indelicate, it be named for that particular spot between the ass cheeks and be reserved for the worst of the worst. There will be many candidates!

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer said...

allenwoodhaven is right: there will be others to compete for this distinction. Are asses selected out through evolution?

Mike said...

I think Devon will be receiving a Darwin award also.

I like Allen's thought on the third award Friday.

Vinegar Tom said...

Definitely deserves a Darwin Award!

Linda Kay said...

That is just about the stupidest thing I've heard!