Today marks the first time since I started the Right Cheek/Left Cheek system of naming Ass Clowns that we've had five Fridays in a single month, and thus the need to name a third Ass Clown. Having run out of cheeks, I need to find an appropriate way of naming my recipient, and I have settled (for the time being, at least) on a title.
And so it is, Dear Readers, that today I announce
The On-Crack Ass Clown of the Month for July, 2015
Mr Reed was one of a number of concerned citizens who, after the murder of several military personnel in Chattanooga, Tennessee, stepped forward with his personal weapon to guard a military recruiting office in the town of Lancaster, Ohio. On July 23rd, a passing citizen asked Mr Reed if he could look at his AR-15 rifle; in the process of showing it off, Mr Reed accidentally fired a shot into the pavement at his feet.
Mr Reed told a newspaper interviewer later, "I was trying to clear the weapon and hand it over to him when it went off. I thought it was empty and must have missed it."
The owner of the shopping center where the military recruitment center is located ordered the armed volunteers to leave after the incident, saying in a statement that “for the safety of tenants, customers and construction personnel working in the immediate vicinity of the Military Recruiting Center, it would be best to request the removal of the armed individuals.”
There's a reason why the military does not want to have untrained civilians armed with powerful weapons "guarding" its facilities, regardless of their good intentions. Mr Reed is fortunate to have missed his foot when his weapon went off.
For his well-intentioned, but fundamentally misguided and foolish attempt to "protect" military personnel, Mr Christopher Reed is named our On-Crack Ass Clown of the Month for July, 2015.
Don't try this at home.
Have a good day. See you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday.