Tuesday, January 05, 2016

Coats of Arms, Revisited

Long time readers may recall that back in March of 2009, I expressed a desire to have my very own coat of arms … a heraldic announcement to the world that House Bilbo is a force to be reckoned with, every bit as much as, say, House Lannister or House Stark from “Game of Thrones,” or those upstart Windsors in Britain. This was the idea that I came up with at that time …

The motto meant, "Bilbo is crazy, (with his) hair always on fire."

That was okay for 2009, but in the meantime it's become 2016, and I think I need something a little more impressive, and with a better motto. I got to thinking about this because I've been reading some of the original James Bond novels by Ian Fleming, and in the story On Her Majesty's Secret Service, I ran across these lines ...

"His family came from someplace in Normandy. Family tree as long as your arm. William the Conqueror and all that. And a coat of arms that looks like a mixture between a jigsaw puzzle and Piccadilly Circus at night."

"A mixture between a jigsaw puzzle and Piccadilly Circus at night." Wow!

Of course, my coat of arms doesn't have to be that busy. I'm a complicated fellow, but not all of my peculiarities can be expressed in heraldic terms*, which limits the amount of stuff that needs to compete for space on my shield. Nevertheless, I need something a bit more descriptive and comprehensive than the 2009 version, if not quite up to jigsaw puzzles or Piccadilly Circus at night. And so it is, Dear Readers, that after much thought and many drafts, I have come up with Bilbo's Coat of Arms, version 2.0:

As you can see, it retains the "hair on fire" element from my first version (representative of my tendency to worry a lot), but adds three new elements: the representation of money flying away** (when you live in NoVa, it really does), a representation of my distaste for BS, and the Latin translation of my motto - "I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense."*** 

I like it. I think it will do for another few years until I get the itch to change it again.

What do you think? What would your coat of arms look like? Leave a comment - inquiring minds want to know.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.


* Trust me on this one ... you're very fortunate.

** You may recall that one of my earlier designs was described in heraldic terms as "a debtor rampant on a field of unpaid bills."

*** The actual quote comes from English author G.K. Chesterton; the Latin version was generated by an Internet-based translation engine


Gonzo Dave said...

My coat of arms would look like Doctor Octopus - four sleeves on each side.

Mike said...

Next time you're going to need a bigger shield.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Mike beat me to the comment. :-)
It's getting harder and harder here in NoVa to keep a dime isn't it?
Need to move.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

What's the Latin translation of "I owe, I owe, so it's off to work I go?"

Mariette said...

I like your new coat of arms.

allenwoodhaven said...

I like it!

My family goes way back into England and has a coat of arms. I'll have to give some thought to how to personalize it.