Thursday, August 25, 2016

Naming Airplanes

I ran across an interesting article by Daisy Carrington the other day on CNN - How Planes Get Their Names.

You've probably never given much thought when you fly as to whether or not your airplane has a name ... all you usually care about is the size of the seat you've been painfully wedged into, or where your luggage will end up. But it seems there is a whole culture built around the naming of aircraft by the companies or nations that operate them. For instance, Israeli carrier ElAl names its airliners after cities in Israel, and Virgin America* picks names that are puns, or clever in some way, such as #Nerdbird, an aircraft that serviced various high-tech cities. Hugh Hefner, the publisher of Playboy Magazine, called his personal airplane The Big Bunny.

The Air Force names some of its airplanes, too. During World War II, almost every airplane had a name and accompanying nose art** painted on it - for instance, the Enola Gay which dropped the first atomic bomb, or The Ruptured Duck, which was one of the B-25 bombers that participated in the 1942 Doolittle Raid on Tokyo. Today's B-2 "Spirit" bombers are named after states, as in Spirit of Ohio, Spirit of Washington, and so on. We are unlikely to run out of names for B-2s, as they're so expensive that we'll run out of money to build them before we run out of state names to give them.

This leads me to wonder if we shouldn't have appropriate names for the campaign aircraft of our presidential wannabes.

Hillary Clinton's campaign aircraft could reflect her penchant for secrecy, be painted in camouflage tones, and have a name like Nothing to See Here.

Donald Trump likes to name everything after himself, but his campaign aircraft should have a catchier name ... like No Returns, in honor of his refusal to release his tax information. Or perhaps Comrade One, in honor of his bromance with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Any other ideas? Leave a comment.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow, when we'll name our Left-Cheek Ass Clown for August. More thoughts then.


* Happily, virginity is not a prerequisite for flying on this airline, although there's no telling how that might change if the GOP wins the election.

** Most of which would result in howls of outrage today for its "sexist" nature.


John Hill said...

Taking from the old TV show Fantasy Island an appropriate name for The Donald's plane - The Plane, The Plane!
After all, this campaign is from fantasy land!

Mike said...

Trump should have a plane with a nose at both ends so it could change direction in midair.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Name Hillary's and Donald's planes respectively Our Mistake I and Our Mistake II. Or Turd Bird I and Turd Bird II. :-(

allenwoodhaven said...

I like No Returns for Trump. It also refers to being unable to return him after the election if he wins.
Nothing To See Here is perfect for Clinton.

I wonder what their Secret Service names are.