Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Eating Right for Better Sex


This is another of those posts with an adult theme. I've noticed that my readership statistics skyrocket when I'm writing about sex, so I may as well go with what works ...

I'm not revealing any particular secrets when I note that we are living in a sex-drenched society. From the mandatory sex scene in almost every movie and most cable TV dramas to the Viagra™ and Cialis™ commercials on prime-time TV to the lascivious gyrations of dancers in music videos, sex is everywhere.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love sex. If it weren't for sex, I wouldn't be here, and neither would you. And if for some reason you need help, you may be interested in this article by Robin Scher I just read the other day: Listen up, Guys: 14 Foods That May Help Your Sexual Performance.

Oy.

First of all, I think the thing that would most help my sexual performance is a time machine that would take me back about 50 years. At my age, I like food for food's sake, not because it will turn me into a virile stud ready to drop everything in pursuit of comely ladies, but it never hurts to eat right, no matter the reason. Here's how I relate to the 14 foods that are said to help the male libido by either increasing testosterone or helping improve blood flow*:

1. Watermelon. I'm off to a good start ... love watermelon!

2. Tomatoes. I also love tomatoes. I snack on grape tomatoes all day long.

3. Pink Grapefruit. Yum! Like tomatoes and other red fruits and vegetables, grapefruit contains lycopene**, an antioxidant that also helps reduce the risk of prostate cancer.

4. Oysters. Uh ... I'll pass. Oysters are said to be a sex food because they are rich in zinc, which aids in the production of testosterone, but if I need zinc that badly, I'll suck on galvanized nails.

5. Caffeine. Holy baloney, with the amount of coffee I put away, I ought to be the poster boy for sex ... I should be the Hugh Hefner of NoVa.

6. Dark Chocolate. Still on a roll ... I absolutely love dark chocolate. Milk chocolate, not so much.

7. Pistachios. I wonder if these are on the list because they look like ... uh ... never mind. I love pistachios.

8. Walnuts. I love walnuts, too.

9. Pine Nuts. And pine nuts, particularly when they're part of a good pesto.

10. Salmon (and other fatty fish). We have a wonderful recipe for marinated, cedar-planked salmon. Perhaps I should make it more often.

11. Kale. Forget it. I love most vegetables, but I'd rather munch on old tinfoil than on kale.

12. Spinach. Spinach is rich in iron, and iron is hard, so I'm sensing a connection, here. And I love spinach.

13. Chilis. Capsaicin, the substance that makes chili peppers hot, boosts blood flow and is also linked to testosterone production. I like spicy foods, so that's a plus.

14. Green Tea. Hot or iced, this is a great drink. And according to the article, it's full of catechins, which help your liver turn fat into energy and improve blood flow.

So, how does my diet stand up?***

My diet is high in twelve out of the 14 foods that are alleged to improve sexual performance. I wonder if it's okay to ask Agnes if she's noticed any difference. No, probably not ... one of my rules to live by is to not ask a question if you're not sure you want to hear the answer.

Have a good day. Eat right ... you can even have my oysters and kale. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* And helping blood flow to certain manly organs doesn't hurt your sex life.

** Before you ask, it has nothing to do with werewolves.

*** Sorry.

12 comments:

Dave Hess said...

I agree on the oysters, but not on the kale. You have obviously never had "Grünkohl mit Pinkel," probably because Agnes is from southern Germany. It's one of my/our favorite dishes, especially on a cold winter day. Give it a try. You'll find dozens of recipes on the internet. Here's one that looks pretty good: http://eatsmarter.de/rezepte/gruenkohl-mit-kartoffeln-und-pinkel-0

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Wow Rick eats almost all of that except kale. We both hate kale. So you and he are the poster boys for over 60 sex machines in NoVa. :-)

eViL pOp TaRt said...

I hate kale too. But I'm fine on the others. Does milk chocolate serve too?

Hell Hound said...

13 out of 14. No kale with me. I had it in a smoothie once. ugh!

Kale smoothies would make several people swear off sex.

John Hill said...

Hmmm...
14 of 14
Maybe I'm more of a stud than I thought.
I think stud standards for 50 somethings must be different than what I'm thinking.

Mary said...

I have to agree with Dave - Grünkohl mit Pinkel is a real comfort food on cold days - and they have plenty of them in northern Germany.

Grand Crapaud said...

Does anyone like kale?

Mike said...

9 out of 14 for me. But I can double up on the ones I like.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

11 out of 14. Why isn't steak on the list? Or pizza?

bakku-shan said...

!4 out of 14. And I have no complaints.

Chuck Bear said...

Watermelon? Are you kidding?

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer said...

I'm glad that spinach made the list.