Monday, July 24, 2017

The Benefits of Flatulence

I have learned over the years that my posts that deal with unusual topics tend to get higher readership statistics, have more readers and get more comments. Far and away, the most popular topic is - oddly enough - sex; however, there are other natural body functions that attract attention as well.

My high school friend and fellow book lover Mary Lou recently pointed me to this interesting article at Eight Surprising Reasons Farting Is Good for You. Seven reasons* that passing gas (or, to use the proper medical term, farting**) is good for you are:

1) It reduces bloating;

2) It helps balance your diet;

3) It helps relieve abdominal pain;

4) It's good for your colon;

5) It provides valuable signals about your health;

6) It helps diagnose food allergies; and,

7) It feels good.

The eight reason farting is good for you (it's actually #5 on the list in the article) is ...

8) Inhaling farts is good for you. 

Yes, Dear Readers, a study conducted at the University of Exeter*** has found that exposure to small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas (which our guts produce during digestion) may prevent mitochondrial damage to our cells, helping to prevent strokes, heart disease, and arthritis, among other things.

Who knew?

And there are other benefits to breaking wind that are not addressed in the article or in the scholarly work of the University of Exeter. These include:

- Getting rid of unwanted company. A good fart can clear a room faster than Seal Team 6.

- Expressing political opinions without unnecessarily antagonizing others. Are you tired of listening to people mindlessly justifying the latest horse hockey from the Trump administration? Instead of starting a fight and alienating friends and family members, just fire off a major toot to discourage further conversation.

- It's fun. You don't have to be six years old to appreciate the humor value of a good fart.

And finally ...

- It can help introduce you to aspects of high technology you didn't know existed. Check out the Ultimate Fart Soundboard, only $4.99 ... or, if you just want single tracks, they're available at $0.99 each!

So, Dear Readers, play your butt trumpet proudly, knowing that you're doing good for yourself and others. And if you need more fart-related humor, check out this blow-by-blow account of the Crepitation Contest between Lord Windesmear and challenger Paul Boomer ...

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.


* We'll get to the eighth in a minute, don't worry.

** For a list of other euphemisms for the act, check here.


eViL pOp TaRt said...

Wow, Bilbo, this is a real tour de force! Farts provide an inexaustible supply of humor and levity in unexpected places. If inhaling hydrogen sulfide gas is good for you, maybe we have become evolutionary selected as generators of said gas. So fart proudly!

A well-timed far can serve as an effective social commentary.

John Hill said...

And yes, you can really light them!

Bilbo said...

And John, you know this how ...?

Banana Oil said...

I can back up John's statement. Maybe that was a poor choice of wording....

Cloudia said...

Thanks! It's an ill wind that blows no good!

Mike said...

One needs to listen to the farting contest at least once a year.

allenwoodhaven said...

My brother and I played with whoopee cushions when we were kids. Classic!

Deena said...

To market, to market,
You're got to be smart;
Promise them beans
But deliver a fart.

Bilbo said...

Banana Oil and Deena win the comment derby!