Wednesday, January 01, 2020

The 2019 Ass Clown of the Year!


If ever there was a year that seemed as if it would never end, it was 2019. It was a year swamped by such a tsunami of ass-clownery that it was difficult to identify individual ass clowns that rose above the prevailing level of stupidity, mendacity, and outright lunacy to merit the awards I pass out every two weeks. In short, it was a year of depressingly common ass-clownery ... and 2020, being an election year, promises to be worse.

But this time, I'm not the one who has to make the choice. Once a year I ask you, my readers and friends, to make the decision for me, and you have spoken. Let's work our way up the results to the Big Finger ...

In Fifth Place, having earned a measly five votes*, is Vice President Mike "Fawningly Obsequious" Pence.

In Fourth Place, with 22 votes, is Texas Representative Louie "Get Off My Lawn!" Gohmert.

In Third Place, with 33 votes, is Ohio Representative Jim "If You Can't Hear Me, I Can Yell Louder" Jordan.

In Second Place, with 75 votes, is South Carolina Senator Lindsey "[Der Furor is a] race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot." No, wait, he's not!" Graham.

and now, Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I give you the runaway winner, with a towering 309 votes,

The 2019 Ass Clown of the Year


Senator Mitch McConnell (R, KY)


This is the second straight Ass Clown of the Year Award for Senator McConnell, who won the 2018 annual award and earned designation as an Ass Clown twice more in 2019, bringing his lifetime total of awards to eight - he was the clear favorite in this year's annual competition. McConnell earned the nickname "Moscow Mitch" for his staunch opposition to every proposed security measure to prevent future foreign meddling in our elections, while at the same time supporting only "election security" measures which focused on limiting the voting rights of citizens likely to vote for Democratic candidates. McConnell was also noteworthy for his castigation of the "Do-Nothing Democrats" while refusing to take action on mountains of legislation sent from the Democratic-controlled House to his Republican-controlled Senate. McConnell also focused like the proverbial laser on the assembly-line appointment of as many deeply conservative (and frequently unqualified, according to the American Bar Association) federal judges as possible.

Also contributing to McConnell's fitness for the award is his staggering hypocrisy, exemplified by his stonewalling of President Obama's Supreme Court nominee because the vacancy occurred in an election year ... while openly admitting that he would ensure the seating of a new justice while a Republican was president in an election year.

Senator McConnell was also a reliable lap-dog defender of Der Furor, seldom criticizing the Dear Leader's actions and comments, no matter how bizarre, un-American, inhumane, or downright stupid.

This award marks the ninth time Mitch McConnell has won an Ass Clown Award ... one more and he will join Der Furor in the elite club of those having earned Lifetime "Achievement" Awards.

The way he's going, it won't be long.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Ass Clown of the Year for 2019 is Kentucky Republican Senator Mitch McConnell ... who, one hopes, will find himself unemployed following the November elections.

Have a good day and a happy, healthy, safe, and ... above all ... sane New Year. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Which is pretty much about what he's worth.

8 comments:

allenwoodhaven said...

Amen. He deserves it without a doubt. He'll become an ass-clown emeritus soon, probably before January is over.

Duckbutt said...

Best wishes to you for a Happy New Year!

Mike said...

Sorry the troll has found you. (two comments above) I picked him up through another blog and it seems to be spreading among the blogs I follow.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

He's just an ass. No laughs from him.

allenwoodhaven said...

allenwoodhaven did NOT make the comment above to Anne Marie...

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

He looks like a bullfrog.

Grand Crapaud said...

A good choice. One or the moore useless senators.

Big Sky Heidi said...

What a winner!