The Ass Clown of the Year for 2025

Welcome to 2026! Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, it is time to announce the result of the voting for the Ass Clown of the Year!

Since we opened the voting on December 17th, 13 individuals or groups have received votes toward the award. The finalists were:

In fifth place, with 800 votes - a tie between "All of the Above" and Der Furor and Pete Hegseth (the joint winners of the September Special Award);

In fourth place, with 850 votes - Der Furor's Enablers;

In third place, making a strong last-minute showing with 1025 votes - Elon Musk (the January Left-Cheek winner); 

In second place, our runner up with 1300 votes - The Legislative, Executive, and Judicial Branches of the Federal Government (the December Left-Cheek winner);

And now, our winner,

The 2025

Ass Clown of the Year

and winner of the prestigious Tinfoil and Toilet Paper Crown with Poop of Distinction Device

with 2686 votes

Der Furor

In a year brimming over with amazingly well-qualified ass clowns, Der Furor stood head and shoulders above the competition with his narcissism, crude and insulting behavior, incompetence, corruption, ignorance of the Constitution, weaponization of the Justice Department against his perceived enemies, and indifference to the rule of law. Aided by a cabinet and federal agencies stocked with incompetent and dangerous individuals whose only qualification was slavish devotion to their leader, he has wrecked the economy, the federal government, the rule of law, public health, and our international standing. Historian Dr Heather Cox Richardson has taken a comprehensive look back at the damage he's wrought in her "Letter from an American" of December 30th - I urge you to read it for a masterful summary of a terrifying year for the nation.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the 2025 Ass Clown of the Year award is presented - for the 20th time, including two annual awards - to Der Furor. Sadly, we are probably stuck with him for the next three years, unless Congress and the Supreme Court unexpectedly grow spines.

For those of you who are interested, the other vote-getters in this year's competition were (in descending order of vote totals):

Nick "alpha male" Adams;

The Congressional GOP;

The American Electorate;

The Supreme Court;

House Speaker Mike Johnson;

"MAGA;" and,

Kristi Noem's Dog (who received a single dump of 3.14159 votes).

Before we sign off, here's a recap of the Ass Clown of the Year winners since the annual award was first presented in 2011:

2011: The Republican Party

2012: NRA President Wayne LaPierre

2013: The Tea Party

2014: Former VP Dick Cheney

2015: Der Furor

2016: The American Electorate

2017: The Republican Party and Its Congressional Majority

2018: Sen Mitch McConnell (R, KY)

2019: Sen Mitch McConnell (R, KY)

2020: Sen Mitch McConnell (R, KY)

2021: Tucker Carlson

2022: Texas Governor Greg Abbott

2023: The Republican Party

2024: The American Electorate

2025: Der Furor

Have a good day, and consider the future carefully as you prepare for the November midterm elections and the 2028 presidential election. The cleanup on aisle 47 will be the politically necessary equivalent of Hercules' cleanup of the Augean Stables.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Ass Clown of the Year Voting Status!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers!

We opened voting for the 2025 Ass Clown of the Year on December 17th, allowing the traditional two weeks for you to cast your votes. If you missed the original announcement that spelled out the rules for this year's competition, you can view it here.

Voting for this year's award ends at 11:59 PM tomorrow, December 30th. Here are the standings as of the time of this post:

In the lead, with 626 votes, Der Furor;

In second place, with 500 votes, the Legislative, Executive, and Judicial branches of the United States Government;

In third/fourth place, with 300 votes, a tie between Der Furor and Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth (as a pair) and "Der Furor's Enablers;"

In fifth place, with 211 votes, Nick "alpha male" Adams.

Lesser numbers of votes have been cast for the "Congressional GOP," "The American Electorate," "The Supreme Court," "House Speaker Mike Johnson," "Kristi Noem's Dog," and "MAGA."

There's still time to cast your votes, so don't delay - vote early, vote often, and make sure your voice is heard and that we properly shine the light of shame on the 2025 Ass Clown of the Year.

The winner will be announced in this space on Thursday, January 1st, 2026.

Vote now!

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Voting Is Now Open for the 2025 Ass Clown of the Year!

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today is the start of the two-week period in which you can cast your votes for the individual or group that best exemplifies the year's supreme achievement in ass clownery, and (possibly) unseats the 2024 winner, The American Electorate. It's time to vote for

The 2025 Ass Clown of the Year

By Friday, December 26th (the announcement of the final awardee for the year, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for December), I will have named 33 awardees in 2025, all of whom are eligible for the annual award. Of course, if there's someone I missed or someone you like better, you are free to vote for the write-in candidate of your choice. Here are the ground rules for Ass Clown of the Year voting, unchanged from previous years except as noted:

- Chicago Rules apply: you may vote as many times as you want, for as many candidates as you want. You may cast votes on behalf of yourself, your family members, your friends, your family members' friends, your pets, your friends' and family members' pets, or anyone else, living or dead. In the interest of fairness, I ask only that you not cast more than 100 votes at a time for any one candidate (same as last year) ... just vote more often if you want to stuff the digital ballot box. 

- You may vote for any of this year's 33 award winners (the first 32 are listed below, and the last will be announced on December 26th), or for anyone else you wish. 

- You need not be legally authorized to vote in the United States. Republicans view voting laws with a great deal of flexibility to their advantage, so why should you not follow their example?

- No ID is required and there is no minimum age to vote. If you are concerned that the Russians (or Elon Musk, or the Chinese, or the Venezuelans, or the Italians (via satellite), or the Martians or one or the other political party, or the "Deep State") will manipulate the results to undermine the integrity of the award without such identification, consider that the fanatical supporters of Der Furor are already convinced that elections they don't win are rigged and will assume that any IDs presented will be phony, anyhow. And in any case, integrity is a quaintly outdated concept in today's political world in which "facts" require no proof or connection to reality. I worry more about my fellow citizens than I do about any external actors.

- Finally, you again have the option to vote for ALL OF THE ABOVE, rather than a single winner.

- Votes will be accepted from now until 11:59 PM on Wednesday, December 31st. You may vote by leaving a comment on this or any blog post between now and then; by sending me a PM or leaving a comment on Facebook or Bluesky if we are connected there; by e-mail if you have my personal address; by text message if you have my phone number; or in person if we should happen to meet and you are unarmed and properly vaccinated. If you choose to cast your votes in person, be advised that your candidate's chances of winning are enhanced if the votes are accompanied by adult beverages, desirable snacks (list available on request), cash, or any combination thereof. Yes, it's bribery, but if Elon Musk and all those other billionaires slurping at the government trough can do it, so can you.

I will provide periodic updates on the balloting, and will announce the 2025 Ass Clown of the Year in this space on Thursday, January 1st, 2026.

To help you make your choice, here are links to the first 32 Ass Clown awardees for 2025*, in case you want to go back and review their qualifications to assist in making your choice:

January Right-Cheek: America's Billionaire Class

January Left-Cheek: Elon Musk

February Right-Cheek: The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE)

February Left-Cheek: "Vice President" JD Vance

February Special Award: The Republican and Democratic Parties

March Right-Cheek: Secretary of State Marco Rubio

March Left-Cheek: Joaquin Garcia

March Special Award: The "National Security Establishment" of Der Furor's Administration

April Right-Cheek: Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth

April Special Award: Der Furor and His Economic Advisors

April Left-Cheek: The American Legal Profession

April Special Award: Der Furor's Obsequious Cabinet

May Right-Cheek: Attorney General Pam Bondi

May Left-Cheek: DHS Secretary Kristi Noem

May On-Crack: White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt

June Right-Cheek: Attorney General Pam Bondi (second award this year)

June Left-Cheek: Emil Bove

July Right-Cheek: Speaker of the House Mike Johnson (R, LA-4)

July Left-Cheek: The Republican Regrets Coalition

August Right-Cheek: Christopher Robertson

August Left-Cheek: Nick "alpha male" Adams

September Right-Cheek: Robert F. Kennedy, Jr

September Left-Cheek: Laura Loomer

September Special Award: Der Furor and Pete Hegseth (second award this year for both individuals)

October Right-Cheek: "Border Czar" Tom Homan

October Special Award: Attorney General Pam Bondi (third award this year)

October Left-Cheek: Ten Violent and Racist "Young" Republicans and Vice President JD Vance (second            award this year for Vance)

October On-Crack: Newt Gingrich, Kevin McCarthy, Mike Johnson, and Mitch McConnell (second award         this year for Johnson)

November Right-Cheek: The US Department of Agriculture

November Left-Cheek: Der Furor's Governmental Clown Car

December Right-Cheek: The Federation Internationale de Football Association (FIFA)

December Left-Cheek: to be announced on December 26th - check this site then!

These are your candidates! It's up to you, now ... vote early, vote often, and make sure your voice is heard and your chosen ass clown is recognized for appropriate ridicule and receipt of the Tinfoil and Toilet Paper Crown**, which has been presented to each ass clown awardee since the 2022 annual winner - 

Although the run on tinfoil hats by the MAGA crowd and the panic-buying of toilet paper ahead of winter storms may lead to temporary shortages of raw materials, I'll make it work. 

Have a good day, vote early, and vote often. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Some of the individual recipients have won the award multiple times by being part of group awards. I have not detailed individual membership in group awards during the year in the interest of space.

** A far more prestigious award than the silly FIFA/Temu Peace Prize gifted to Der Furor earlier this month.

The Ass Clown of the Year for 2024

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, you have spoken, and have done a much better job than the voters in that other election back in November.

Yes, it is time to announce the result of the voting for the Ass Clown of the Year ... but first, let's count down the finalists:

In fifth place, with 600 votes - three-time ACOY winner and late entry Mitch McConnell;

In fourth place, with 615 votes - The News Media, for its overall deplorable performance;

In third place, with 880 votes - the biggest snake to come out of Florida since the Burmese Python invasion, Matt Gaetz; 

In second place, our runner up with 1450 votes - Mar-a-Lago Pool Boy Elon Musk;

And now, our winner,

The 2024

Ass Clown of the Year

and winner - for the second time - of the prestigious tinfoil and toilet paper crown

with a towering 11790 votes,

The American Electorate

A slim majority of the American Electorate this year opted to reject a superbly qualified presidential candidate and instead return to the presidency the most un-statesmanlike, unqualified, petty, and vindictive individual possible. Glad you got what you wished for ... sadly, the rest of us and the rest of the world will suffer the consequences along with you.

By the way, Der Furor this year received the lowest vote total in the history of the Ass Clown of the Year awards - exactly one-half vote, cast at the last minute. He deserved more, but at least he made the final roster of nominees, which also included embarrassing Cabinet nominee Robert F. Kennedy, Jr, Der Furor's spokesogre Stephen Cheung, The Government of Israel, the Democratic Party, the 118th Congress, and "The Trump Cult."

Before we sign off, here's a recap of the Ass Clown of the Year winners since the annual award was first presented in 2011:

2011: The Republican Party

2012: NRA President Wayne LaPierre

2013: The Tea Party

2014: Former VP Dick Cheney

2015: Der Furor

2016: The American Electorate

2017: The Republican Party and Its Congressional Majority

2018: Sen Mitch McConnell (R, KY)

2019: Sen Mitch McConnell (R, KY)

2020: Sen Mitch McConnell (R, KY)

2021: Tucker Carlson

2022: Texas Governor Greg Abbott

2023: The Republican Party

2024:  The American Electorate

Enjoy the New Year's Holiday, and gird your mental loins for the coming year, which promises to be a wild ride as the new administration fights with itself and tries to meet the minimum standards for responsible governance. Good luck with that.

More thoughts coming in the new year.

Bilbo

The Final Ass Clown of the Year Voting Update!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I hope your Holiday season of choice continues to be safe, happy and festive! With only two more days (counting today) left in 2024, we continue the search for that misbegotten symbol of all that is wrong with the nation and the world, The Ass Clown of the Year.

Voting has been steady since the race began on December 17th, and with mere hours to go, here's how the race is shaping up:

In fifth place with 590 votes, rebounding from an earlier displacement: Robert F. Kennedy, Jr;

Holding at fourth place, with 660 votes: The News Media;

Dropping down to third place, a late entry into the race with 1395 votes: President-Elect Elon Musk; 

Advancing to a very close second place on the strength of a sudden surge, with 1410 votes: former Florida representative and all-round despicable character Matt Gaetz; and,

Remaining in first place, with a commanding lead of 11,600 votes: The American Electorate.

Several other nominees have received smaller numbers of votes, among them Der Furor's Spokesogre Stephen Cheung (pushed out of fifth place at this update), The Government of Israel, The 118th Congress, three-time Ass Clown of the Year winner Mitch McConnell, and Czar of All Russia Vladimir Putin. Oddly enough, as of the time of this writing, Der Furor himself has received no votes.

You have less than 48 hours remaining to vote, so make sure your voice is heard: vote early, vote often, and help in our annual campaign to shine the light of condemnation on the most execrable ass clowns. 

This year's campaign ends at midnight tomorrow, and the tinfoil and toilet paper crown will be awarded on New Year's Day, Wednesday, January 1st!

Have a good day and vote now! More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Ass Clown of the Year Voting Update

Well, friends, I hope you have had a wonderful start to your Holiday season, however you choose to celebrate! Even as we today celebrate Boxing Day and the next day of Hanukkah (sp?), we have to keep up with the work of seeking out and heaping dishonor upon that one deserving ass clown worthy of designation as Ass Clown of the Year.

The voting continues hot and heavy, and with less than a week to go, here are the current standings:

Slipping from third to fifth place, with 575 votes: Der Furor's Spokesogre Stephen Cheung;

Holding at fourth place, with 615 votes: The News Media;

In third place, making a strong break into the race with 880 votes: former Florida representative and all-round despicable character Matt Gaetz; 

Still in second place, with 1350 votes: President-Elect Elon Musk; and,

Remaining in first place, with a commanding lead of 11,300 votes: The American Electorate, given a strong boost by a dump of 10,000 votes from Mike. His compliance with the rules may be questionable, but his opinion certainly is not.

You have less than a week of voting opportunities left, so make sure your voice is heard: vote early, vote often, and help in our annual campaign to heap opprobrium on the most deserving ass clowns. 

The 2024 campaign ends at midnight on December 31st, and the tinfoil and toilet paper crown will be awarded on New Year's Day, Wednesday, January 1st!

Have a good day and vote now! More thoughts tomorrow, when we will announce the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for December - the final Ass Clown award for 2024 ... be sure to check it out and see if you need to adjust your votes!

Bilbo

Ass Clown of the Year Voting Update

Well, friends, the Ass Clown of the Year voting has been underway for a week now, and with just a week more to go, here are the current standings:

In fifth place, with 50 votes: Robert F. Kennedy, Jr;

In fourth place, with 100 votes: The News Media;

In third place, with 225 votes: Der Furor's Spokesogre Stephen Cheung;

In second place, with 800 votes: President-Elect Elon Musk; and,

In first place, with a towering 1150 votes: The American Electorate.

There's another week of voting opportunity left, so make sure your voice is heard: vote early, vote often, and help in our annual campaign to heap opprobrium on the most deserving ass clowns. Voting ends at midnight on December 31st, and the tinfoil and toilet paper crown will be awarded on Wednesday, January 1st!

Do it now!

Have a good day and be sure to come back tomorrow for the update of our traditional Christmas Eve post. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

The Ass Clown of the Year for 2023

Happy New Year!

The people ... or, at least, those people motivated to vote ... have spoken! After two weeks of my whining exhortation, your voices have been heard, your votes counted, and the decision made! 

Seventeen individuals or groups received at least one vote in this year's campaign; following a last-minute surge in voting, here's the countdown to the big announcement:

In Fifth Place, with 292 votes: Texas Governor Greg Abbott;

In Fourth Place, with 412 votes: the MAGAts;

In Third Place, with 500 votes: Rudy Giuliani;

In Second Place, with 691 votes: Moms for Liberty;

and now, the Big Reveal - 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, it gives me no particular pleasure to announce that the award for

The 2023 Ass Clown of the Year

and its accompanying tinfoil and toilet paper crown

are presented to, with a total of 719 votes,

The Republican Party

I can sum up today's deluded, increasingly fascist-minded GOP no better than did conservative writers Thomas E. Mann and Norm Ornstein, writing almost twelve years ago in their opinion article titled "Let's Just Say It: The Republicans Are the Problem" -

“The GOP has become an insurgent outlier in American politics. It is ideologically extreme; scornful of compromise; unmoved by conventional understanding of facts, evidence and science; and dismissive of the legitimacy of its political opposition.”

Since that time, and particularly since the resounding electoral defeat of Der Furor in 2020 which they still refuse to acknowledge, the GOP has lurched from one self-inflicted crisis to another, stocking its bench with characters who are at best unserious and at worst, demonstrably crazy. It has become and remains a party which, in the words of Michael Gerson, "[lacks] a moral and intellectual gag reflex." 

Having seized a tiny majority in the House of Representatives in the 2022 midterm elections, the GOP used its leadership not to improve the lot of the average American, but to attempt to avenge the wounded ego of its supreme leader, Der Furor. It has presided (after a dreadfully comical search for a Speaker) over the least productive Congress in the history of the nation, as judged by the amount of legislation actually enacted into law. It has wasted time and energy in a completely evidence-free attempt to impeach President Biden over the imagined crimes of an imagined "Biden Crime Family" while ignoring the mountains of evidence of wrongdoing by Der Furor and his family. 

In spite of the clearly evident successes of Democratic policies, Republicans at all levels deny the evidence and rely on volume of angry noise to deflect attention from the historical failure of their own policies. 

Unable to win elections on the merits of their policies, the GOP relies on the heavy gerrymandering of Congressional districts and the imposition of laws ostensibly meant to enhance "election integrity," but in fact clearly designed to disenfranchise those likely to vote against it.

A party that one prided itself on policies to make the United States a bulwark and leader against authoritarian foes now happily embraces authoritarian rulers such as Russia's Vladimir Putin and Hungary's Victor Orban. 

Philosopher Eric Hoffer, writing in his classic book "The True Believer," observed that political, religious, and social mass movements needed unifying agents to help ensure their success, and today's GOP has embraced what Hoffer called "the most accessible and comprehensive of all unifying agents" - hatred. Lacking evidence of any successes of its own and a comprehensive program to achieve its goals, today's Republican party relies on stoking in its adherents hatred of its opponents. The opposition is characterized as "vermin," and its legitimate concerns and issues disregarded as "poison." Truth and evidence are never required, only mindless hatred.

I lost all respect for the GOP years ago, when I left the party in disgust over the policies and actions of the George W. Bush administration. Since then, things have only become worse.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I am glad to announce that so many of you also see the obvious danger to the nation posed by an increasingly unhinged Republican Party, and voted to recognize the party as the 2023 Ass Clown of the Year.

Now, let's make sure that the GOP never again gains control of the levers of power it is so eager to abuse.

Have a good day and a happy, healthy, safe, and sane new year. As legal affairs commentator Joyce Vance is fond of saying, "we're all in this together."

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

P.S. - for those of you interested in the full results of the voting, here's a copy of my voting results spreadsheet ...

Voting Is Now Open for the 2023 Ass Clown of the Year!

I'm sorry if you came here looking for Poetry Sunday, but you'll have to wait - because today marks the start of voting for

The Ass Clown of the Year for 2023

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today is the start of the two-week period in which you can cast your votes for the individual, group, or (for the first time this year) concept that best exemplifies the year's supreme achievement in ass clownery, and replaces the 2022 winner, Texas Governor Greg Abbott.

By Friday, December 29th (the announcement of the final awardee for the year, the On-Crack Ass Clown for December), I will have named 29 awardees in 2023, all of whom are eligible for the annual award. Of course, if there's someone I missed or someone you like better, you are free to vote for the write-in candidate of your choice. Here are the ground rules for Ass Clown of the Year voting, unchanged from previous years except as noted:

- Chicago Rules apply: you may vote as many times as you want, for as many candidates as you want. You may cast votes on behalf of yourself, your family members, your friends, your family members' friends, your pets, your friends' and family members' pets, or anyone else, living or dead. In the interest of fairness, I ask only that you not cast more than 50 votes at any one time for any one candidate (same as last year) ... just vote more often if you want to stuff the digital ballot box. 

- You may vote for any of this year's 29 award winners (the first 28 are listed below, and the last will be announced on December 29th), or for anyone else you wish. 

- You need not be legally authorized to vote in the United States. Voting laws don't apply to Republicans, why should they apply to you?

- No ID is required and there are no age restrictions. If you are concerned that the Russians (or Elon Musk, or the Chinese, or the Venezuelans, or the Italians (via satellite), or the Martians or one or the other political party, or the "Deep State") will manipulate the results to undermine the integrity of the award without such identification, consider that the fanatical supporters of Der Furor are already convinced that elections they don't win are rigged and will assume that any IDs presented will be phony, anyhow. And in any case, integrity is a quaintly outdated concept in today's political world in which "facts" require no proof or connection to reality. I worry more about my fellow citizens than I do about any external actors.

- Finally, because the number of potential awardees is so high and their qualifications so unquestionable, you again have the option to vote for ALL OF THE ABOVE, rather than a single winner.

- Votes will be accepted from now until 11:59 PM on Sunday, December 31st. You may vote by leaving a comment on this or any blog post between now and then; by sending an e-mail to der_blogmeister@yahoo.com; by sending me a PM or leaving a comment on Facebook if we are connected there; by text message if you have my phone number; or in person if we should happen to meet and you are properly vaccinated. If you choose to cast your votes in person, be advised that your candidate's chances of winning are enhanced if the votes are accompanied by adult beverages and/or desirable snacks (list available on request), or cash. Yes, it's bribery, but in today's political environment it's okay unless the other side is doing it.

I will provide periodic updates on the balloting as needed, and will announce the 2023 Ass Clown of the Year in this space on Monday, January 1st, 2024.

To help you make your choice, here are links to the first 28 Ass Clown awardees for 2023*, in case you want to go back and review their citations:

January Right-Cheek: The New House GOP Majority and Speaker Kevin McCarthy

January Left-Cheek: Ronna McDaniel, Mike Lindell, and Harmeet Dhillon

February Right-Cheek: Rep Marjorie Taylor Greene (R, GA-14)

February Special Award: Rep Marjorie Taylor Greene (R, GA-14)

February Left-Cheek: Fox "News" Corporation

March Right-Cheek: Rep Kevin McCarthy (R, CA-23)

March Left-Cheek: Reps Jim Jordan (R, OH-4), James Comer (R, KY-1), and Bryan Steil (R, WI-1)

April Right-Cheek: Wisconsin Supreme Court Candidate Daniel Kelly

April Special Award: Supreme Court Associate Justice Clarence Thomas

April Left-Cheek: The American Electorate

May Right-Cheek: America's Second-Amendment Zealots

May Left-Cheek: Florida Governor Ron DeSantis

June Right-Cheek: Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton

June Left-Cheek: Newt Gingrich

June On-Crack: Sen Tommy Tuberville (R, AL)

July Right-Cheek: Moms for Liberty

July Left-Cheek: Rep James Comer (R, KY-1)

August Right-Cheek: The Republican Party

August Left-Cheek: Vivek Ramaswamy

September Right-Cheek: Florida

September Left-Cheek: The Republican Party

October Right-Cheek: Michael Gardner

October Special Award: Sen Ted Cruz (R, TX), Sen Tommy Tuberville (R, AL), and the GOP Majority in the House of Representatives

October Left-Cheek: Rep Jim Jordan (R, OH-4)

November Right-Cheek: Thoughts and Prayers

November Left-Cheek: Sen Markwayne Mullin (R, OK) and Rep Tim Burchett (R, TN-2)

December Right-Cheek: Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Israeli Minister of National Security

Itamir Ben-Gvir, and the leaders of Hamas: Ismail Haniyeh, Moussa Abu Marzuk, and Khaled Mashal

December Left-Cheek: Speaker of the House Mike Johnson (R, LA-4)

It's up to you, now ... vote early, vote often, and make sure your voice is heard and your chosen ass clown is recognized for appropriate ridicule and receipt of the official Tinfoil and Toilet Paper Crown, which has been presented to each ass clown awardee since the 2022 annual winner - 

Although the run on tinfoil hats by the MAGA crowd and the panic-buying of toilet paper ahead of winter storms may lead to temporary shortages of raw materials, I'll make it work. 

Have a good day, vote early, and vote often. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Some of the individual recipients have won the award multiple times by being part of group awards. I have not detailed individual membership in group awards during the year in the interest of space.

The 2022 Ass Clown of the Year

Well, Friends, it's been quite a year for ass clownery, hasn't it? Over the course of the year we have presented 27 Right Cheek, Left-Cheek, On-Crack, and Special Awards, and could have easily presented twice that number and not run short of dishonorees. Since I opened voting for the Annual Award on December 19th, I have received a gratifyingly large number of responses. Without further ado, let's count down the top five nominees en route to the Ass Clown of the Year:

In fifth place, with 495 votes, Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell, who holds the record for most Ass Clown of the Year victories with his back-to-back wins in 2018, 2019, and 2020. He was a latecoming entry to this year's contest, which is a good indicator of the intensity of the competition.

In fourth place, with 691 votes, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. A man as dangerously cruel and authoritarian as Der Furor, but with better packaging. Not to mention his own election police to ensure he wins.

In third place, with 990 votes, billionaire lunatic Elon Musk. If you're a Twitter user, you've seen the sort of damage his erratic and ill-considered management style can do to an enterprise, and his complicated waltz with "freedom of speech" can do to a nation that loves "freedom" in the abstract, if not in the dirty reality of the responsibilities that come with it. The old, apocryphal quote* applies: "If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people he gave it to."

The Runner-Up, in second place with 1050 votes, Ohio Representative Jim Jordan. Few people are as good at making huge amounts of furiously angry and self-righteous noise while actually generating no significant legislative activity on behalf of his constituents and the nation. He will probably take the chair of the House Judiciary Committee in the new year, which is a virtual guarantee that the committee will accomplish nothing useful, obscuring a thin and partisan record with thunderous rants, cherry-picked "evidence," gaslighting, and whataboutism.

And the runaway winner, with 1955 votes,

The 2022 Ass Clown of the Year

is

Texas Governor Greg Abbott

Governor Abbott "distinguished" himself in the performance of supremely hypocritical and inhumane behavior during the past year as he used the surging illegal immigration crisis at his state's border with Mexico as a partisan political issue rather than an opportunity to help spark meaningful updates to the nation's grossly outdated immigration policy.

Mr Abbott's most awful stunt, for which he received the December On-Crack Ass Clown Award a mere three days ago, was the shipping of three busloads of immigrants, many of them in light clothing, to Washington and dumping them on Christmas Eve in bitter cold weather on the street in front of the Vice Presidential home at the Washington Naval Observatory. This, however, was only the latest stunt in a long series of shamelessly inhumane actions which included the use - at his state's request - of Border Patrol agents on horseback to forcibly disperse migrants and those who sought to help them.

While no one can argue that the huge tide of desperate would-be immigrants arriving from Latin America at the nation's southern border represents a humanitarian crisis of historic proportions, Governor Abbott has chosen to address the problem by simply shipping busloads of ill-clothed and -fed immigrants to northern cities with no prior coordination that would allow the immigrants to be appropriately fed and housed. The current crisis provides a perfect backdrop for meaningful reform of the nation's immigration policies, but both of our political parties - especially the Republicans - have chosen to use it instead as a viciously partisan political sword with as much poison in the handle as in the blade.

This year, for the first time we are presenting to the winner, in the form of an utterly worthless non-fungible token,  

The Official Tinfoil and Toilet Paper Crown

to be worn as a symbol of well-deserved shame and derision.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, by popular vote, the 2022 Ass Clown of the Year is Texas Governor Greg Abbott. He leaves a towering achievement in cruel and heartless ass clownery that will be difficult to beat ... but hordes of challengers are ready to try.

And just in case you're interested, eleven different candidates received votes this time. The six also-rans were:

Kevin McCarthy (425 votes);

Mark Meadows (395 votes);

Donald Trump, Jr (325 votes);

Elise Stefanik (115 votes);

George Santos (110 votes); and

Der Furor (1 vote, which I cast myself because I couldn't stand to see him not be recognized for his world-class ass clownery). 

Happy New Year to you and your families and friends. I hope, although not without trepidation, that the new year will be better than the old.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* It has been attributed at various times to Dorothy Parker, Alexander Pope, Thomas Guthrie, and many others. Nobody knows who actually said it first, but that doesn't make it any less accurate.

Voting is Now Open for the 2022 Ass Clown of the Year!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today marks the official start of the selection campaign for the successor to the 2021 Ass Clown of the Year - Fox News posturing gargoyle Tucker Carlson. Yes, it's time to start voting for

The 2022 Ass Clown of the Year

By Friday, December 30th (the announcement of the final award for the year, the On-Crack Ass Clown for December), I will have named 27 awardees in 2022, all of whom are eligible for the annual award. Of course, if there's someone I missed or someone you like better, you are free to vote for the write-in candidate of your choice. Here are the ground rules for Ass Clown of the Year voting, unchanged from previous years except as noted:

- Chicago Rules apply: you may vote as many times as you want, for as many candidates as you want. You may cast votes on behalf of yourself, your family members, your friends, your family members' friends, your pets, your friends' and family members' pets, or anyone else, living or dead. In the interest of fairness, I ask only that you not cast more than 50 votes (same as last year) at any one time for any one candidate ... just vote more often if you want to stuff the digital ballot box. 

- You may vote for any of this year's 27 award winners (the first 26 are listed below, and the last will be announced on December 30th), or for anyone else you wish. 

- You need not be legally authorized to vote in the United States. Voting laws don't apply to Republicans, why should they apply to you?

- No ID is required and there are no age restrictions. If you are concerned that the Russians (or Elon Musk, or the Chinese, or the Venezuelans, or the Italians (via satellite), or the Martians or one or the other political party, or the "Deep State") will manipulate the results to undermine the integrity of the award without such identification, consider that the fanatical supporters of Der Furor are already convinced that elections they don't win are rigged and will assume that any IDs presented will be phony, anyhow. And in any case, integrity is a quaintly outdated concept in today's political world in which "facts" require no proof or connection to reality. I worry more about my fellow citizens than I do about any external actors.

- Finally, for the third year in a row, because the number of potential awardees is so staggeringly high and their qualifications so unquestionable, you have the option to vote for ALL OF THE ABOVE, rather than a single winner.

- Votes will be accepted from now until 11:59 PM on Saturday, December 31st. You may vote by leaving a comment on this or any blog post between now and then; by sending an e-mail to der_blogmeister@yahoo.com; by sending me a PM or leaving a comment on Facebook if we are connected there; by text message if you have my phone number; or in person if we should happen to meet and you properly vaccinated. If you choose to cast your votes in person, be advised that your candidate's chances of winning are enhanced if the votes are accompanied by adult beverages, desirable snacks (list available on request), or cash. Yes, it's bribery, but in today's political environment it's okay unless the other side is doing it.

I will provide periodic updates on the balloting, and will announce the 2022 Ass Clown of the Year in this space on Sunday, January 1st, 2023.

To help you make your choice, here are links to the first 24 Ass Clown awardees for 2022*, in case you want to go back and review the citations:

January Right-Cheek: Senator Raphael "Ted" Cruz (R, TX) 

January Left-Cheek: Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin

February Right-Cheek: The Republican National Committee

February Left-Cheek: The Republican Party 

March Right-Cheek: The Republican Party, the "Freedom Convoy," Der Furor, Senator Lindsey Graham (R, SC), and Vladimir Putin

March Left-Cheek: The Republican Members of the Senate Judiciary Committee

April Right-Cheek: Senator Joe Manchin (D, WV)

April Left-Cheek: Florida Governor Ron DeSantis 

May Right-Cheek: Senator Susan Collins (R, ME)

May Left-Cheek: Representative Elise Stefanik (R, NY-21)

June Right-Cheek: Special Counsel John Dunham

June Special Award: Kyle Rittenhouse

June Left-Cheek: Group Award to Those Who Failed to Sound the Alarm on Der Furor Unless Under Oath or to Protect a Book Deal

July Right-Cheek: Michael Flynn 

July Left-Cheek: Representative Jim Jordan (R, OH-4) 

July On-Crack: Hungarian President Viktor Orban

August Right-Cheek: The Republican Party

August Left-Cheek: Senator Lindsey Graham (R, SC)

September Right-Cheek: Judge Aileen Cannon

September Left-Cheek: Don Bolduc

October Right-Cheek: The Republican Party

October Left-Cheek: Retired Military Officers Working for Foreign Governments

November Right-Cheek: Donald Trump, Junior

November Left-Cheek: Dan Bongino, Dinesh D'Souza, Tomi Lahren, and Brigitte Gabriel

December Right-Cheek: Kevin McCarthy (R, CA-23)

December Special Award: Der Furor

December Left-Cheek: Kari Lake

December On-Crack: To be announced on December 30th

It's up to you, now ... vote early, vote often, and make sure your voice is heard and your chosen ass clown is recognized for appropriate ridicule.

BUT WAIT ... THERE'S MORE!!

With today's announcement of the start of the 2022 ACOY balloting comes the unveiling of the official Tinfoil and Toilet Paper Crown, to be presented to each ass clown awardee starting with the 2022 annual winner - 

Although the run on tinfoil hats by the MAGA crowd and the panic-buying of toilet paper ahead of winter storms may lead to temporary shortages of raw materials, I'll make it work. 

Have a good day, vote early, and vote often. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Many of the individual recipients have won the award multiple times by being part of group awards. I have not detailed membership in group awards during the year in the interest of space.

The Ass Clown of the Year for 2021!

As we greet the dawn of the new year 2022, it's time to set trepidation about the future aside and look to the past as we dishonor

The 2021 Ass Clown of the Year

The competition was extremely intense this year, driven not only by the sheer number of ass clowns clamoring for attention, but the incredible range of domains from which they came. This year's prospects from the frothing cesspool of biweekly winners alone spanned categories ranging from politics to religion to law to the media to "medicine" and beyond ... a group of ass clowns representing the worst of a broad cross-section of modern life.

The year's biweekly winners were summarized in the kickoff announcement back on December 22nd, and need not be mentioned here again, the year having been depressing enough already*. We will press on with the presentation of the award, beginning with the fifth place finisher ... but first, a special note about the voting: to my amazement, Der Furor received not one single vote**. I guess it's a testimony to the level of ass clownery of those who did get votes, but I'm choosing to view it as a hopeful sign that the worst president in history - having done enough damage to the nation and the world - is finally fading into noisy and spiteful irrelevance.

And now, the results.

In fifth place with 3183 votes, West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin, whose insistence that he is socially liberal but fiscally conservative has tanked the very programs that would have provided desperately-needed financial and social assistance to the citizens of his impoverished and unhealthy state.

In fourth place with 3200 votes, a mere 17 ahead of Senator Manchin, Ohio Representative Jim Jordan, whose shouting theatrics and boorish behavior helped make a mockery of government service.

In third place with 3300 votes, Texas Governor Greg Abbott, who surged to a powerful late finish on the strength of his December 31st request to President Biden for additional federal aid to help Texas cope with the strain of the surging omicron variant of Covid-19 ... which was caused in large part by the actions of the governor in downplaying and denying the proven measures needed to combat it. Don't mess with ruggedly independent Texas unless it needs your help to cope with the deadly situation it created itself.

In second place with 4387 votes, a person who (in the brilliant observation of my friend Dave) was such a loser that she couldn't even win an award for ass-clownery, highly independent (of legislative skill, thought, and compassion) Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema.

and,

In first place with 4756 votes, the individual you chose as the supreme representative of total ass-clownery for the year 2021 ... which was itself defined by a near-historic level of buffoonery, political chicanery, misinformation, and wanton disavowal of responsibilities in place of unrestricted personal freedoms, 

Faux News Shouting Head

Tucker Carlson

Thirteen other candidates received vote totals ranging from 87*** (for Kentucky Senator Rand Paul) to 2,300 (for Florida Governor Ron DeSantis). 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, please join me in a round of celebratory flatulence to dishonor the 2021 Ass Clown of the Year, Tucker Carlson.

I wish all of you a safe, happy, and healthy New Year's Day holiday as we gird our collective loins for the year to come. I hope that 2022 will bring us victory over Covid-19, an economy that continues to boom, inflation that goes down, and the election in November of decent, hardworking public servants who place the nation's welfare ahead of their party dogmas and personal ambitions. I also hope to win the Powerball. Guess which one is more likely.

Have a good day and enjoy the holiday. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* 2021 had to deliver us one last kick in the crotch by taking Betty White on December 31st, just weeks before her 100th birthday. Thanks for nothing.

** Nor, in fact, did spineless weasel Mike Pence, whose relentless plumbing of the depths of shame and cowardice was hindered neither by his craven loyalty to Der Furor, nor his attempts to downplay the January 6th insurrection in attempts to rhetorically kiss the backsides of the MAGA masses.

*** The number 87 is apparently used as a slang term in Taiwan and Hong Kong to mean "idiot." According to the Urban Dictionary, 87 can be pronounced as "ba - chi" - two separate numbers in Chinese; however, the pronunciation is similar to "bei - chi", which means "idiot" in Mandarin Chinese. Thanks to my friend Dick who cast the 87 votes for Mr Paul and turned me on to a useful new code word! By the way, if you do, in fact, look up "87" in the Urban Dictionary, you will find that it has another meaning we will not discuss here, this being a blog occasionally read by my grandchildren.

Voting Is Now Open for the 2021 Ass Clown of the Year!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today is the official start of the selection campaign for this year's successor to Senator Mitch McConnell, who has won this award three years in a row ... yes, it's time to start voting for

The 2021 Ass Clown of the Year

By Friday, December 31st (the announcement of the final award for the year, the On-Crack Ass Clown for December), I will have named 32 regular or special awardees in 2021, all of whom are eligible for the annual award. Of course, if there's someone I missed or someone you like better, you are free to vote for the write-in candidate of your choice. Here are the basic ground rules for the Ass Clown of the Year voting, unchanged from previous years except as noted:

- Chicago Rules apply: you may vote as many times as you want, for as many candidates as you want. You may cast votes on behalf of yourself, your family members, your friends, your family members' friends, your pets, your friends' and family members' pets, or anyone else, living or dead. In the interest of fairness, I ask only that you not cast more than 50 votes (up from 10 last year) at any one time for any one candidate ... just vote more often. 

- You may vote for any of the 32 biweekly and special award winners (the first 31 are listed below, and the last will be announced on December 31st), or for anyone else you wish. 

- You need not be legally authorized to vote in the United States. Laws don't apply to Republicans, why should they apply to you?

- No ID is required and there are no age restrictions. If you are concerned that the Russians (or the Chinese, or the Venezuelans, or the Italians (by satellite), or the Martians or one or the other political party, or the "Deep State") will manipulate the results to undermine the integrity of the award without such identification, consider that the fanatical supporters of Der Furor are already convinced that elections they don't win are rigged and will assume that any IDs presented will be phony, anyhow. And in any case, integrity is a quaintly outdated concept in today's political world in which "facts" require no proof or connection to reality. I worry more about my fellow citizens than I do about any external actors.

- Finally, for the second year in a row, because the number and quality* of potential awardees is so staggeringly high, you have the option to vote for ALL OF THE ABOVE, rather than a single winner.

- Votes will be accepted from now until 11:59 PM on Friday, December 31st. You may vote by leaving a comment on this or any future blog post between now and then; by sending an e-mail to der_blogmeister@yahoo.com; by sending me a PM or leaving a comment on Facebook if we are connected there; by text message if you have my phone number; or verbally from a distance of at least six feet if we should happen to meet and you are unmasked and unvaccinated**. If you choose to cast your votes in person, be advised that your candidate's chances of winning are enhanced if the votes are accompanied by adult beverages, healthy snacks, or cash. Yes, it's bribery, but in today's political environment it's okay unless the other side is doing it.

I will provide periodic updates on the balloting, and will announce the 2021 Ass Clown of the Year in this space on Saturday, January 1st, 2022.

To help you make your choice, here are links to the first 31 Ass Clown awardees for 2021, in case you want to go back and review the citations:

Senators Ted Cruz (R, TX), Josh Hawley (R, MO), and the GOP Sedition Caucus (Special Award)

The Soon-to-Be Former President (January Right-Cheek)

Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene (R, GA-14) (January Left-Cheek)

Bruce Castor (February Right-Cheek)

Senator Ron Johnson (R, WI) (February Left-Cheek)

Tucker Carlson (March Right-Cheek)

Sidney Powell (March Left-Cheek)

Representative Matt Gaetz (R, FL-1) (April Right-Cheek)

Sean Hannity (April Left-Cheek)

The Republican Party (May Right-Cheek)

Representative Andrew Clyde (R, GA-9) (May Left-Cheek)

Senators Joe Manchin (D, WV) and Kyrsten Sinema (D, AZ) (June Right-Cheek)

Representative Lauren Boebert (R, CO-3) (June Left-Cheek)

Dr Sherri Tenpenny (Special Award)

Senator Mitch McConnell and Former Attorney General William Barr (July Right-Cheek)

Representative Paul Gosar (R, AZ-4) (Special Award)

Hobby Lobby (Special Award)

Kimberly Guilfoyle (July Left-Cheek)

Monsignor Jeffrey Burrill (Special Award)

Senator Tommy Tuberville (R, GA) (July On-Crack)

Greg Locke (Special Award)

Senator Rand Paul (R, KY) (August Right-Cheek)

The Anti-Vaxxers (August Left-Cheek)

Texas Governor Gregg Abbott and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (September Right-Cheek)

John Eastman (September Left-Cheek)

The Republican Party (October Right-Cheek)

Senator Joe Manchin (D, WV) (October Left-Cheek)

The Democratic Party (November Right-Cheek)

The Republican Party (November Left-Cheek)

Representatives Marjorie Taylor Greene (R, GA-14) and Lauren Boebert (R, CO-3) (December Right-Cheek)

Senator Rand Paul (R, KY) (December Left-Cheek)

TBA on December 31st (December On-Crack)

It's up to you, now ... vote early, vote often, and make sure your voice is heard and your chosen ass clown is recognized.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

*I hate to use that word, but I'm not sure which other one applies. I'm open to suggestions.

** And still alive.