Dog's Eye View

Hi, there! It's me again, Clara, Bilbo and Agnes's granddog.

If it looks like I'm a little tired, it's because I am. I'm having a hard time being an upbeat, friendly (but fiercely protective) dog when a lot of you humans are acting like such idiots.

I mean, really.

I've had to wear the Cone of Shame several times, for days at a time, and you're griping about having to wear a simple cloth mask to go grocery shopping? Give me a break!

And I think a lot of you would benefit from earning a certificate from a good obedience school. For pete's sake, you've got doctors who have spent their entire lives studying diseases. When they tell you you should do something to protect yourself and others, you probably ought to listen to them instead of pitching hissy fits in stores and bitching about how it's your god-given Constitutional right to ignore professional advice and put other people in danger.

And how on earth can you take this Der Furor person (that's not really his name, but Bilbo refuses to say it out loud) seriously? Believe me, if that person were a dog, nobody would be calling him a good boy. I hear some of you say stupid things like, "I don't like what he says, but I like what he does" ... that's sort of like saying you don't like how much your dog barks, but at least he doesn't poop on the carpet.

So, yes, I'm tired. I love Bilbo and his whole family, and like any good dog I would lay down my life to protect them. Some of you, on the other hand, I'd cross the street against heavy traffic to bite.

You're supposed to be the top life form on the planet. Act like it.

That's all for now. Wash your paws, wear your masks, and start acting like you appreciate and care about each other as much as we dogs care about you.

Woof.

Clara