It's always been hard to pick a single ... or a pair ... or even a group of ass clowns each time on whom to bestow the Tinfoil and Toilet Paper Crown. I know that I always complain about this and I hate to sound like a broken record, but it's nevertheless true, and this period is no different. The news of the past week has been so full of insanely worthy ass clowns that I didn't even have enough room on any wall of my house to hold all the post-it notes bearing names at which I could blindly throw darts to make a selection.
One wonders what has happened to the country.
But it's my job to make a selection, and so I have sighed deeply, shaken my head in sorrow, and decided to name as
The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for February, 2024
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Der Furor*
If you've been keeping track, this marks Der Furor's sixteenth** Ass Clown Award - consisting of 11 individual awards, four shared awards, and Ass Clown of the Year for 2015. While presenting him this award for the 16th time may seem like a lazy grab for the lowest-hanging fruit, I believe it is well supported by the recent evidence:
- Continuing to shamelessly kowtow to fellow authoritarian Vladimir Putin, he claimed in a campaign speech that under his rule, Russia could do "whatever the hell they want" to NATO nations that do not pay enough for their own defense;
- Helping to cover his campaign expenses and ever-mounting legal bills by launching his latest product - gold-toned sneakers bearing a capital T and an American flag - priced at $399***; and,
- Forcing Congressional Republicans to reject a border security bill that gave them almost everything they wanted so that he could continue to use the immigration crisis at the southern border as a campaign topic.
Yesterday, February 22nd, marked the birthday of George Washington, our first President and the man fondly remembered as "The Father of His Country." Today, we once again place the Tinfoil and Toilet Paper Crown on the artistically-permed head of Der Furor, the man who will most likely be remembered as "The Embarrassing Drunken Uncle of His Country."
Have a good day, and if you're clutching your pearls over President Biden's age, consider the potential horror of a second administration headed up by an unhinged Furor and his army of political, social, and religious bigots. Choose wisely.
See you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when we'll look at law and justice in today's America. More thoughts then.
Bilbo
* AKA, the only president ever to have his own glowering mug shot.
** No other individual recipient even comes close to this towering record of ass clownery. Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell is the next individual runner-up, with 10 awards (including a record three Ass Clown of the Year awards), while the all-time biggest winner is The Republican Party with a total of 19 awards overall, including 14 solo wins and three Ass Clown of the Year designations (in 2011, 2017, and 2023).
*** Isn't it interesting that Der Furor's MAGAts are hysterical about how terrible the economy is, and yet they are able and willing to shell out $399 for a pair of tacky sneakers and still have money to contribute to a GoFundMe page to help pay his legal bills?
2 comments:
It's sad that it's the right pick. He really is a menace. It truly is a most important election in our history. I hope, and want to trust, that sane people will vote in huge numbers.
It's apparent to most professionals in the behavioral health world that he's mentally ill. Sometimes what's needed is to NOT listen to an individual's delusional rantings. That would certainly help the world!
And thanks for doing the dirty work of plucking the worst from the Ass Clown cesspool. We all appreciate it!
You can buy gold sneakers for $20 and put your own "T" and flag on them.
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