With all the terrible news and gut-wrenching changes in the country, it's easy - especially for us senior citizens who remember more civil and honest times - to despair over the state of the union. But it's also important to think, at least occasionally, about nicer things. Like, well, dancing the horizontal tango.
Of course, when one reaches a certain age, a certain amount of planning is needed in order fully to enjoy the delights of sexual union ...
1. Wear your glasses to be sure your partner is actually in the bed.2. Set a timer in case you doze off.3. Set the mood with lighting: turn all the lights off.4. Before you begin, put 911 on your speed dial.5. Write your partner's name on your hand in case you forget.6. Keep the Polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.8. Make all the noise you want ... the neighbors are probably deaf, too.9. Don't even think about trying it twice.10. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
I have these hints on a handy, laminated card that I keep on the nightstand for reference as needed. You never know when they might come in handy ...
Have a good day, and enjoy the nookie while you can. More thoughts coming.
Bilbo
1 comment:
#7 for sure.
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