Cartoon Saturday

Silly you ... you thought things would be better once we got past the chaos of March.

Der Furor's administration has admitted to mistakenly deporting a man to a notorious El Salvador prison, but says it can't bring him back; on Tuesday afternoon (after the stock market closed), Der Furor imposed a round of huge tariffs on nearly every country on earth (including a remote island inhabited only by penguins) ... in response, markets tanked and the S&P 500 index lost $2.5 trillion; apparently at the urging of far-right activist Laura Loomer, the Orange Airhorn fired several senior national security figures, including the director of the National Security Agency (although no one involved in "Signalgate") for the offense of being insufficiently loyal to the PINO; and a declassified CIA report on an incident from 35 years ago claims that a Russian surface-to-air missile downed a UFO, from the wreckage of which shape-shifting aliens emerged to massacre responding soldiers with an explosive energy burst.

This week, in honor of the professionalism and dedication of President Musk, PINO Der Furor, and their amazing appointees, I thought a batch of cartoons about clowns would be appropriate. But because there are a great many sub-genres of clown cartoons, we'll narrow this week's selections to cartoons about famously-overstuffed clown cars. 

I actually have at least two more cartoons in my collection that riff on this idea ...

Yes ... yes, it is ...

Clown cars have stupid decals, too ...

I've known a lot of used car salesmen who were clowns ...

It's not a question he gets every day ...

Busted! ...

Starting early ...

Didn't you wonder how they did the trick before cars were invented? ...

It would surely help ...

It's job security of a sort ...

And that's it for this first Cartoon Saturday of the new month ... sadly, we now have to go back to dealing with real clowns. And they're not funny.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when we open the door to Musical Sunday and usher in a timely classic from Grace Jones. See you then!

Bilbo

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2025

"How low can you go?" used to be the question asked at limbo contests; now, it's the north star of President Musk and Der Furor's mindless assault on the government and society of the United States ... a time when the limbo bar of decency, honor, respect, and compassion is essentially level with the ground. 

As much as I have tried to identify Ass Clowns from various walks of life to receive these awards, the utter awfulness of the administration for which 77 million of my fellow citizens voted has led me to focus on it as the lowest of low-hanging fruit for selection ... and so it is this week.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the tinfoil and toilet paper crown designating

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2025

 

is presented to

Secretary of Defense

Pete Hegseth

There's not much point in rehashing the nearly criminal incompetence exhibited by Mr Hegseth in the so-called "Signalgate" fiasco; suffice it to say - as have commentators wiser and more esteemed than I - that had any military member exhibited the towering level disregard of classification, operational security, and simple common sense demonstrated by Mr Hegseth, they would have been fired at the very least, and probably court-martialed and imprisoned.

The incident itself was bad enough, but the ho-hum-no-big-deal-nothing-to-see-here-everybody-makes-mistakes-and-Hillary's-emails-were-worse-anyhow reaction of the PINO and his lickspittle cabinet officers, press spokesdrones, and other apologists have made a mockery of an administration that misses no opportunity to loudl trumpets its worship at the festooned altar of "accountability" and "merit." If Mr Hegseth had the least shreds of dignity and respect for his position, he would resign if the PINO didn't fire him. But, of course, in this administration, unflinching and unquestioned loyalty to Der Furor are far more important than basic competence, gravitas, or qualification for the office to which one is appointed.

Mr Hegseth, not satisfied with his shameful performance in "Signalgate," blundered into yet another security-related incident when it was revealed that he had permitted his wife Jennifer, a producer at Fox "News" with no security clearances or need-to-know, to accompany him to meetings with foreign military officials at which sensitive classified information was discussed. Again, as might be expected, no action on this egregious security breach has been taken by the administration.

When I sat down to write this period's award, I was strongly tempted to present it to "Vice President" JD Vance for his shameful, bullying behavior during his uninvited visit to Greenland, which accomplished nothing but driving our allies farther away and further tarnishing what little remains of our international reputation. I finally decided on Mr Hegseth because his childish and thoughtless action had the potential to compromise a military operation in progress, costing the lives of American service members he sent into harm's way.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2025, is Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth - a man out of his depth, lacking mature judgement, and utterly unqualified for one of the most critical cabinet positions.

And, by the way, the attire worn by Mr Hegseth in the photo above violates 4 USC 1, Section 8(j), which states that "No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform." But at least it covers all his offensive tattoos*.

Have a good day. Hope for the best, but expect the worst. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Some of which would probably get him deported to a prison in El Salvador if he weren't white and connected.

The Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale, Updated

I first introduced the Gohmert Stupidity Scale in June of 2021, and published the first explanation of its structure and guidelines just a few days later. I updated the scale in March of 2023, expanding the guidelines to account not just for ignorance, but also for greed and malice as factors in the assessment of the individual, rather than the nation level of stupidity as measured by the DUMBCON. That update also changed the name to the "Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale," in recognition of another toweringly stupid member of Congress. The basic unit of stupidity is the gag*, defined as "the stupidity value of a single action dumb enough to earn one or more of the following: an eye roll, a head shake, or a forehead slap."

But things have changed rapidly since the inception of the scale, and not for the better. The reelection of Der Furor as PINO, the ascendency of President Musk, and the total servility of the Republican Party in the advancement of an increasingly fascistic program call for improved ways to measure individual levels of stupidity, as well as the overall National Stupidity Condition. Having reset the DUMBCON level yesterday, today I release version 4.0 of the Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale: 

If the chart does not click open for easier reading, here it is in non-tabular format:

Score in gags: 0-1,000. 

General Description: Harmless. Makes mistakes and is able to admit error and self-correct once action has been recognized as stupid. 

Examples/Comments: Me* and most people with whom I choose to associate.

Score in gags: 1,001-2,500. 

General Description: Ignorant. Commits dumb acts out of ignorance, and can usually self-correct when stupid action is pointed out. 

Examples/Comments: Person who drives slower after getting a speeding ticket.

Score in gags: 2,501-10,000. 

General Description: Really Ignorant. Commits dumb acts out of ignorance and refuses to change mind when presented with proof of error. 

Examples/Comments: Person who argues with a police officer giving them a ticket.

Score in gags: 10,001-25,000. 

General Description: Extremely Ignorant. Commits dumb acts out of ignorance and refuses to change mind when faced with proof of error. Relies on personal beliefs and power of personal position to impose stupidity on others. 

Examples/Comments: Annoying neighborhood busybodies; extreme homeowners association nazis.

Score in gags: 25,001-50,000. 

General Description: Stupid. Views own opinions and those of persons with similar beliefs as gospel and rejects contrary information. This is the level at which stupidity begins to have harmful consequences beyond the individual. 

Examples/Comments: Education reform zealots; self-appointed censors and book-burners; eco-terrorists; extreme animal rights advocates.

Score in gags: 50,001-100,000. 

General Description: Really Stupid. Doubles down on stupid actions and beliefs when confronted with evidence; believes persons with contrary positions are obviously wrong and must be resolutely opposed. Individuals at this level and above should never occupy positions of leadership and responsibility.

Examples/Comments: Ordinary MAGAts; election deniers; racists (regardless of color); conspiracy theorists; gun rights advocates, intolerantly religious individuals.

Score in gags: 100,001-350,000. 

General Description: Extremely Stupid. Easily swayed by individuals or groups that reinforce personal beliefs. Believes individuals or groups holding contrary points of view are not only wrong, but deliberately malicious. At this level malice and unfocused anger begin to magnify stupidity.

Examples/Comments: Anti-vaccination zealots; white supremacists.

Score in gags: 350,001-750,000. 

General Description: Amazingly Stupid. Utterly devoid of self-doubt. Refuses to listen to other points of view and is totally convinced of the infallibility of deeply-held personal, especially religious positions. Potential for danger to self and others. 

Examples/Comments: Religious fundamentalists; political extremists;  MAGAts who fly multiple giant US and/or Der Furor worship flags from oversized vehicles. 

Score in gags: 750,001-1,500,000. 

General Description: Dangerously Stupid. Aggressively denies validity of any other point of view, rejects all compromise, and refuses to acknowledge any possibility of personal error or responsibility. May be dangerous to self and others when contradicted. At this level greed begins to significantly magnify stupidity. 

Examples/Comments: Extreme hard-core, in-your-face MAGAts, especially those who wear outlandish clothing inspired by Der Furor; Second Amendment zealots; self-styled militia members; oligarchs.

Score in gags: 1,500,001-3,000,000. 

General Description: Normal Extreme Upper Limit of Stupidity. Completely refuses to accept the validity of any points of view other than their own and rejects all contrary information and evidence as “fake news.” Believes aggressive and confrontational response to opposing views, up to and including physical violence, is justified. Dangerous to self and others. 

Examples/Comments: Hardest of the extreme hard-core MAGAts, especially those who sport ostentatious tattoos of Der Furor; extreme militia members who stockpile weapons; extreme religious fundamentalists; violent racists.

Score in gags: > 3,000,000. 

General Description: Level of Stupidity Is No Longer Measurable by Rational Standards. Individual should not be allowed to breed. 

Examples/Comments: Anyone willing to vote for Der Furor again, having seen the results.

That is the updated Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale, effective April 2, 2025. Comments welcome. Use as you wish. 

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* For "Gohmert and Greene," of course.

** I like to think so, anyway.

DUMBCON Update

Today is Tuesday, April 1st, April Fool's Day. Thus, it is an appropriate day to reassess the National Stupidity Condition - the DUMBCON.

We last raised the DUMBCON in February of this year, when I determined that the prevailing level was insufficient to account for the astounding level of stupidity in modern America. Indeed, the level had risen so sharply that I had to reach back to a version of the scale with enough levels to accommodate it, AND to raise the level by not one, but two steps. But now, things are even more stupid. To name just a few instances:

The Secretary of Defense, National Security Advisor, Director of National Intelligence, CIA Director, Secretary of the Treasury (?). and other administration officials traded sensitive operational military information on a commercial messaging app, not realizing that they had also invited a reporter to be a member of the group.

PINO Der Furor, descending to new levels of pettiness, issued a new royal decree executive order pompously titled "Restoring Truth and Sanity to American History," in which he accused the Smithsonian Institution of "[conducting] a concerted and widespread effort to rewrite our Nation’s history, replacing objective facts with a distorted narrative driven by ideology rather than truth" and of "improper ideology;"

Der Furor also issued another royal decree executive order, "Preserving and Protecting the Integrity of American Elections," which places new restrictions and limitations on voting rights; 

In a calculated provocation and insult to the governments and populations of Denmark and Greenland, "Vice President" Vance and his wife, uninvited, visited a US Space Force facility in Greenland, where Mr Vance doubled down on US aims to take over Greenland, while soft-peddling previous administration threats to absorb it by force if necessary; and,

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth reportedly allowed his wife, an executive producer at Fox News with no known security clearances or need to know, to attend multiple high-level meetings with foreign military officials where sensitive national security information was discussed.

I don't think I could make a better argument that it's time to reset the DUMBCON than this administration makes for itself every day. When I last set the level, I deliberately left room for subsequent adjustment ... and now it's time.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I am raising the DUMBCON Level to

DUMBCON MINUS FOUR

("Time to Get Ready for That One-Way Mars Mission")

You will note that this version of the DUMBCON index has ten levels. When I first created the system, I never imagined that I might need more than the five levels that mirror the military's DEFCON system ... much less ten levels. I have no idea where we go from here.

And we're only two months into this administration.

Have a good day, and remember the time when we complained about a government that, whether you agreed with it or not, was not actively criminal, unconstitutional, amoral, incompetent, and hell-bent on undoing almost 250 years of our experiment with self-governing democracy. We'll be a long time getting the country back, if it's even possible.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo