The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for August, 2025

Friends, I'm tired. I'm tired not just because I'm getting old and rickety, but because I'm sick of the news, sick of the state of the nation, and sick of the "leaders" we elect and those they appoint, even though they are utterly useless.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, with sorrow for the state of the nation, I give you*

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for August, 2025

to 

Nick "alpha male" Adams

In an era of comical, testosterone-fueled wannabe manhood, Nick Adams, the self-described and relentlessly self-promoted "alpha male," stands head and shoulders above other sad excuses for masculine supremacy. His over-the-top Twitter** feed, slavishly cartoonish adoration of Der Furor, resolute promotion of Hooters, and ludicrous public statements on relations between the sexes show a man best described by one observer as "ostentatiously buffoonish," presenting himself as a paragon of masculine virtue while demonstrating a complete lack of empathy, manners, education, and - indeed - sex appeal***. 

And yet, despite his ridiculous behavior and complete lack of qualifications for any position of public trust and confidence, Der Furor has seen fit to nominate him as the nation's ambassador to Malaysia. Aside from the questionable wisdom of appointing a full-throated supporter of Israel as the ambassador to the world's most populous Muslim nation, one notes that he has been appointed to replace an experienced career diplomat ... the sort of person unwelcome in Der Furor's amateurish approach to international relations.

As I noted in my blog post on the topic of alpha males (linked earlier in this post),

"When men refer to themselves as "alpha males," I hear that in the context of software, where alpha versions are unstable, missing important features, filled with flaws, and not fit for the public."

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, self-described "alpha male" Nick Adams - now positioned for a job as the official representative of the United States to a major Asian nation - is our Left-Cheek Ass Clown for August, 2025, and a sterling example of the sad deterioration of the once-great nation bequeathed to us by the Founders.

Have a good day, and expect better from your national "leadership," unlikely though you may be to receive it. I'll see you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday - more thoughts then.

Bilbo

* And please, gawd, take him!

** I refuse to call it "X."

*** I'm sure there are some misguided female MAGAts who can admire his neo-caveman persona, but I doubt that there are many who would appeal to most actual men.

Lawfare

You've probably heard the term lawfare, defined as "(noun) 1. the strategic use of legal proceedings to intimidate or hinder an opponent; 2. the use of the law by a country against its enemies, esp by challenging the legality of military or foreign policy." It is also the name of a popular website presenting essays on the use of law for political, military, and policy purposes. 

Lawfare is indeed a thing, and it's being used every day by a government weaponized against its citizens by a president and a party that used to complain bitterly about a government they believed was weaponized against them, simply because they chose to ignore inconvenient laws. 

In a representative democracy, the sort that we used to have, laws exist to protect the rights of the citizens and provide a stable legal environment in which business can flourish. But the law by itself is the proverbial double-edged sword: it tells us what we are allowed to do, but it does not tell us what we should do.

Consider the rush in Texas to conduct an out-of-constitutional-cycle gerrymander of congressional districts to favor Republican candidates. This blatant attempt to cement a congressional Republican majority had a predictable tit-for-tat result, with populous (and solidly blue) California threatening to gerrymander its own districts if Texas does so, in order to ensure perpetual Democratic seats and cancel out the Republican advantage. 

The Supreme Court has ruled (Rucho v Common Cause, 18-422, June 27, 2019) that gerrymandering for political advantage is legal ... odious and undemocratic, perhaps, but nevertheless legal. Considered in light of the actions of Texas and California, it demonstrates lawfare at both the state and the federal level. And I would argue that lawfare is what is replacing the rule of law that once made America unique.

The words "Equal Justice Under Law" are engraved over the entrance to the Supreme Court ...

... and yet we see that justice is hardly equal. As an example, look at the case of the man recently arrested and charged with felony assault for throwing a sandwich* at a Customs and Border Patrol agent last week. A federal judge permitted assault charges to be filed after a local judge declined to press charges; the man is currently free on bail and faces up to eight years in prison. You may recall that Der Furor has pardoned and lionized dozens of individuals who vandalized the Capitol, savagely beat police officers (with an American flag on a pole, no less), and attempted to overthrow the results of the 2024 election in the January 6th riot.

Who's weaponizing the government against whom?

Der Furor is the most litigious president in our history. He has spent his entire career using the law as a weapon, deploying battalions of lawyers to tie up his opponents in costly and time-consuming litigation, the goal of which is often less to win than to financially ruin his targets. He recently sued the Wall Street Journal for a staggering $10 billion dollars over the newspaper's report that his name was on a 2003 birthday greeting for Jeffrey Epstein that included a sexually suggestive drawing and a reference to secrets they shared. He has sued individuals and businesses relentlessly for decades, never admitting guilt or fault even when judgements go against him. His immediate reaction to any loss is to appeal, and to carry those appeals to the highest possible court, using his time-honored strategy of Deny, Deflect, and Delay. His strategy of endless delays and appeals is intended to wear down his opponents, and proves the truth of the old adage that justice delayed is justice denied. And you can only imagine how much good could be done with the time, money, and energy expended on his frivolous lawfare.

It's no secret that I detest Der Furor and despise the class of lawyers willing to enable him and his like. If Der Furor is lawfare's commanding general, the divisions of amoral lawyers who conduct lawfare on his behalf are its foot soldiers.

And we are its collateral damage.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Some commentators suggested that the man be charged with "assault with a deli weapon."

P.S. - in case you're interested, the illustration I used in today's post was generated by my request to Chat GPT to draw me a picture of a weapon made out of the Constitution. I thought it was appropriate to the topic.

Cartoon Saturday, Special Edition

Cartoon Saturday is one of my longest-running theme posts, and ranks as the most popular by total number of readers and comments. I usually try to have a particular theme for the cartoons each week, drawing from the many thousands of cartoons in my collection, sorted by subject matter. 

By far, the largest folder in the collection is devoted to Der Furor, MAGA, and their assault on our history, values, national standing, and international image. Today, I'm running a special, out-of-cycle edition of Cartoon Saturday dedicated to Der Furor ... because it's good to laugh when you can't cry.

Let's begin with a classic summary of Der Furor's overall effect on our government and our lives ...

Der Furor is a master of using the law as a bludgeon against his enemies and a shield against personal accountability ...

Variations on the TACO presidency ...

The performance appraisal with the boss didn't go well ...

But ... but ... but her e-mails!! ...

'Ya think? ...

I tend to agree ...

It's easier to whisper sweet nothings in your beloved's ear in a big car with lots of privacy ...

The whining, sneering sound of the man's voice is the political equivalent of nails on a blackboard* - it's wonderful to be where you don't have to listen to it ...

It's not easy to be a translator in this administration ...

And that's it for this special edition of Cartoon Saturday. The cartoonists have an easy and critical job drawing attention to the most corrupt and incompetent administration in our history ... and given that the competition includes figures like James Buchanan and George W. Bush, that's saying something.

Have a good day and a good week. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* I understand that this allusion is probably lost on more recent generations of students. Too bad.

Poetry Sunday

If you think that's bad, how about this? ...

Coffee Cup Café

by Linda Hasselstrom

Soon as the morning chores are done,

cows milked, pigs fed, kids packed

off to school, it's down to the café

for more coffee and some soothing

conversation.

"If it don't rain pretty soon, I'm

just gonna dry up and blow away."

"Dry? This ain't dry. You don't know

how bad it can get. Why, in the Thirties

it didn't rain any more than this for

(breathless pause) six years."

"I heard Johnson's lost ninety head of calves

in that spring snowstorm. They

were calving and heading for home

at the same time and they just walked

away from them."

"Yeah and when the cows

got home, half of them died

of pneumonia."

"I ain't had any hay on me since that hail

last summer; wiped out my hay crop, all

my winter pasture, and then the drouth

this spring. Don't know what I'll do."

"Yeah, but this is nothing yet.

Why in the Thirties the grasshoppers came

like hail and left nothing green on the ground.

They ate fenceposts, even. And the dust, why

it was deep as last winter's snow drifts,

piled against the houses. It ain't bad here yet,

and when it does come, there won't be so many of us

having coffee."

So for an hour they cheer each other, each story

worse than the last, each face longer. You'd think

they'd throw themselves under their tractors

when they leave, but they're bouncy as a new calf,

caps tilted fiercely into the sun.

They feel better, now they know

somebody's having a harder time

and that men like them

can take it.

There's always someone having a worse day than you are, isn't there? And somehow, we all come through.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

As my dad would have said, if this week had been a fish, I'd have thrown it back ...

Not satisfied with flooding the streets of Washington with military and law enforcement personnel, Der Furor announced his plan to create a “Domestic Civil Disturbance Quick Reaction Force” of hundreds of National Guard troops to quell potential civil unrest; Der Furor met ... unsuccessfully ... with his fellow autocrat, Vladimir Putin, in Alaska to discuss selling out Ukraine in pursuit of his much-desired Nobel Peace Prize; far-right Israeli Finance Minister Bezalel Smotrich says that plans for a controversial settlement project in the occupied West Bank will "bury the idea of a Palestinian state ... because there is nothing to recognize and no one to recognize;" U.S. tourism officials say Congress’s controversial $250 "visa integrity fee" will deter international visitors, cost the country nearly $11 billion in lost visitor spending and tax revenue over the next three years, and not be refundable as claimed by its sponsors ... it's not clear from the article whether this is related to fees of $5,000 - $15,000 to be charged to visa applicants from certain countries; and in England, workers called in to remove a World War II-era bomb discovered under a children's playground discovered a long-buried cache of 176 other bombs.

This week, since Der Furor believes that life in every Democratic-controlled city in the United States - especially Washington, D.C. - is Hell on earth, how about a collection of cartoons about Hell and its punishments ...

It's hard to imagine a worse punishment for an expert in any field ...

 

The eternally junk mail-stuffed inbox ...

Ah, yes ... I'm sure this is what a lot of hardcore Christians are going to suffer ...

This is obviously how lawyers are tormented ...

Be sure to think the offer through carefully ...

No ... no, it's not ...

Your primary care doctor in hell may not have read the Hippocratic Oath ...

As the veteran of a lot of torturous meetings, I can see this being a hideous eternal torment ...

It's not exactly a cartoon, but it certainly brings The Inferno into the 21st century ...

I think this is where we'll end up if the bar for Der Furor's behavior keeps being lowered ...

And that's it for this week's devilish collection of cartoons - I hope that you've enjoyed them.

Have a good day and a great weekend, and come back tomorrow for Poetry Sunday, when we look at comparative misery. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Tired of listening to Der Furor's rambling and nonsensical news conferences? Take a mental break by checking out this week's compilation of great moments!

Butt water?? (Thanks to Mike for finding this one) ...

The casual, hip spot for minor Arab potentates?

Somebody was not paying attention during grade school arithmetic lessons ...

When you're really desperate for something to be congratulated for ...

I think this was from the grab-and-go cafeteria on Epstein's Island ...

En garde! ...

It's usually more intimidating when it's actually alive ...

I think I'm going to order these for all the women in my family ...

Pork in pants, #1 ...

Pork in pants, #2 ...

And there you go! I hope this collection of editorial and signage ya-ha's has helped raise your spirits, in this time of bizarre governance.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when we'll look at punishments of hell other than having to listen to Der Furor's whiningly sarcastic voice - more thoughts then.

Bilbo

I Never Promised You a Rose Garden

If you're of my generation, you may recall this 1970 hit song by Lynn Anderson, "Rose Garden" ...

Speaking of rose gardens ...

The White House Rose Garden was first created by First Lady Edith Roosevelt in 1903 as a colonial-style garden, and various aspects of its design were changed over the years by various inhabitants of the White House. The plan with the large central grass lawn was created by Rachel Lambert Mellon in 1962 at the request of President Kennedy, and the latest redesign was undertaken by First Lady Melania Trump in 2020. 

The Rose Garden is in the news once again as Der Furor continues his makeover of the White House campus by paving over much of the existing garden. His stated reason is that the grass of the lawn area is easily damaged by foot traffic during events held in the Rose Garden, and that ladies' high-heels sink into the turf and create a tripping hazard. The actual reason, of course, is Der Furor's desire for an entertainment and event patio similar to the one on which he holds court at Mar-a-Lago - 

The makeover of the Rose Garden lawn was recently completed, and the patio area now looks like this* - 

You may notice a couple of things about this photo. First, there are no roses in evidence ... they're there, but the focus is on the paved expanse rather than the flowers. Second, the presidential seal appears at each corner. It is, of course, the president's patio, but making the seal a part of the decor seems to me to be a little gilding of the lily. And third, note that the drainage ports are in the shape of American flags - a probably-unintended allusion to the fact that, under the "leadership" of Der Furor and the GOP, the country is going down the drain.

Here's another view of the new patio**, with the new ice cream parlor-style tables and umbrellas in place - 

Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather a rose garden highlight roses rather than pavement.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* The style has been called "Noveau Brutalism."

** Photo from CNN reporter Kaitlin Collins' Twitter post.

Musical Sunday

It's well known that Der Furor is the most litigious president, if not the most litigious individual in American history. His immediate reaction to any perceived slight or setback is to unleash his stable of morally unmoored lawyers to bury his opponent under a pile of expensive and time-consuming litigation. The goal isn't necessarily to win, it's to crush his foes using the law as a weapon.

As reporter Elizabeth Williamson noted in a recent New York Times article, there are 1.3 million lawyers in the United States today, and about 115,000 of them work for the nation’s largest 100 firms. That's a lot of lawyers, and a lot of money spent on billable hours of torturous litigation every year, instead of on medical care, housing, education, and other needs. Thus, it's time to revisit Tom Paxton's wonderful ode to lawyers from a few years back ...

Here are the lyrics:

Humankind has survived some disasters, I'm sure

Like locusts and flash floods and flu

There's never a moment when we've been secure

From the ills that the flesh is heir to

If it isn't a war, it's some gruesome disease

If it isn't disease, then it's war

But there's worse still to come, and I'm asking you please

How the world's gonna take any more?

(CHORUS:)

In ten years we're gonna have one million lawyers

One million lawyers, one million lawyers

In ten years we're gonna have one million lawyers

How much can a poor nation stand?

The world shook with dread of Atilla the Hun

As he conquered with fire and steel

And Genghis and Kubla and all of the Kahns

Ground a groaning world under the heel

Disaster, disaster, so what else is new?

We've suffered the worst and then some

So I'm sorry to tell you, my suffering friends

Of the terrible scourge still to come

(CHORUS)

Oh, a suffering world cries for mercy

As far as the eye can see

Lawyers around every bend in the road

Lawyers in every tree

Lawyers in restaurants, lawyers in clubs

Lawyers behind every door

Behind windows and potted plants, shade trees and shrubs

Lawyers on pogo sticks, lawyers in politics!

(CHORUS)

In spring there's tornadoes and rampaging floods

In summer it's heat stroke and draught

There's Ivy League football to ruin the fall

It's a terrible scourge, without doubt

There are blizzards to batter the shivering plain

There are dust storms that strike, but far worse

Is the threat of disaster to shrivel the brain

It's the threat of implacable curse

In ten years we're gonna have one million lawyers

One million lawyers, one million lawyers

In ten years we're gonna have one million lawyers

How much can a poor nation stand?

How much can a poor nation stand?

Have a good day, enjoy the rest of your weekend, and try to avoid being the target of ruinous litigation, difficult as it may be in these lawyer-infested times. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

The dog days of 2025 drag on as we suffer through another hot, humid, and politically ghastly week ...

The State Department announced it will require visa applicants from many countries to post a bond of as much as $15,000 to make sure they do not overstay their visas; Israel announced that it intends to take military control of Gaza City as Prime Minister Netanyahu said the ultimate goal of Israeli operations is to take full control of the Gaza Strip; five soldiers were wounded when another soldier exercised his Second Amendment rights in a shooting spree at Fort Stewart in Georgia; Der Furor has ordered the Commerce Department to begin work on a new, out-of-cycle, and questionably Constitutional census that excludes immigrants in the U.S. illegally; and in (where else) Florida, a woman has been arrested and charged with posing as a registered nurse after providing medical services to 4,486 patients between June 2024 and January 2025.

This week, because most of us are praying that we survive until America returns to normal, I thought a collection of cartoons about religion would be appropriate. 

Now, that's my kind of rapture ...

I'm reminded of the old pun about the man who's dyslexic, agnostic, apathetic - he doesn't know if there's a dog or not, but doesn't really care ...

Worshiping with the Christian right ...

Just finishing up his letter of resignation ...

And boy, are they doing it ...

It's always better to be the one offering up the sacrifice than it is to be the one sacrificed ...

He obviously didn't read the fine print ...

I'm sure he's been tempted plenty of times ...

The Heavenly Reserve is not doing its job ...

And we finish up with this classic cartoon that pretty much sums up the whole idea ...

And so ends another Cartoon Saturday, let me hear you say "hallelujah!" Have a good day and a great weekend, and be sure to come back tomorrow for Musical Sunday, when we revisit a classic tune by Tom Paxton that never gets old ... and is more timely than ever now. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for August, 2025

We're starting a new month, and the new month gives us new opportunities to recognize great achievement in ass-clownery. I had drafted a new award (the fourth Poison Ivy Cluster to his original award) for Texas Governor Greg Abbott in recognition of his dedicated support to permanent GOP rule through out-of-cycle redistricting of Texas and his escalating threats to Democratic state legislators who are opposing him, but I then thought that there are other ass clowns out there, too - not as visible, yet also worthy of note.  

With that in mind, Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the award for 

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for August, 2025

is presented to

Christopher Robertson

Mr Robertson was arrested at his home in Georgia by FBI agents on August 1st on a charge of "communicating interstate threats," following a long series of racist rants and threats against black and Jewish citizens in which he claimed to be opposing the "cultural genocide" of the white race. He had earlier visited the Jewish Federation of Greater Atlanta, telling members of the security staff that he was “the official spokesperson for the white race” and demanding to speak to a high-ranking Jewish official. He also visited other synagogues and Jewish cultural centers, issuing threats and documenting his actions in YouTube videos in which he sang violet, racist threats against Jews.

One of Mr Robertson's friends defended his actions in a Facebook post, in which he said that. “These are not charges that are gonna stick. This is not right. He has been voicing his opinion on social media and his freedom of speech. He never threatened.”

Ladies and gentlemen, Dear Readers, our Right-Cheek Ass Clown for August, 2025, is Mr Christopher Robertson - a prime example of today's thoughtful and patriotic extreme right, dedicated to protecting the master race from an imagined racial, cultural, and religious apocalypse.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when we will visit the world of religious beliefs. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

The White House Ballroom

By now, you've probably heard more than you want about the Versailles-style ballroom that Der Furor wants to install in place of much of the existing East Wing of the White House. He foresees a 90,000 square foot "ornately designed and carefully crafted" ballroom that will seat 650 people and cost approximately $200 million. The quiet part, not said out loud, is that it will surely be named for him. 

Who will pay for this extravagant ballroom? According to the White House announcement, "[Der Furor], and other patriot donors, have generously committed to donating the funds necessary to build this approximately $200 million dollar structure. The United States Secret Service will provide the necessary security enhancements and modifications."

Now, if you think that Der Furor, a notorious cheapskate known for stiffing his contractors, is going to shell out any part of the $200 million cost of this ballroom, I have some prime swamp land in Florida to sell you. The "other patriot donors" will almost certainly foot most of the bill, with any portion allegedly coming from Der Furor actually coming from Super PACs or other sources of funds he can tap without dipping into his own pockets. And the "necessary security enhancements and modifications" that will be provided by the Secret Service will, of course, come from you and I as taxpayers. 

We have a lot of things in this country that $200 million could be better spent on ... like education, health care, infrastructure, emergency preparedness, and all the other things this administration believes are frivolous wastes of money better spent on tax breaks for businesses and the wealthy.

The White House is a symbol of the United States. It should not reflect the gilded bling of a royal palace, but a modest, stately grandeur befitting our history as a people who repudiated rule by kings living in palaces. A gaudy Mar-a-Lago style ballroom - like the new, garishly-gilded version of the Oval Office - belongs in a royal palace rather than in The People's House. And while the President of the United States shouldn't have to rent the local VFW hall for state dinners, I believe that the modest size and understated grandeur of the White House is a more appropriate reflection of who we are as a people. If "a large and unsightly tent" is not desirable for larger events, Washington has no shortage of grand hotels and venues* which offer elegant spaces that could host state events while contributing to the local economy.

As those of you who are long-time readers of this blog may recall, I have a lot of experience in ballrooms, having spent many years competing with my wife as the "Am" half of a "Pro-Am" couple. I like ballrooms. They have their place as venues for weddings, quinceañeras, bar mitzvahs, conventions, and ballroom dance competitions ... but they don't belong in The People's House.

Have a good day. Think about how your tax dollars are being spent, and on the message a White House ballroom sends to the world about what's important to us as a nation.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* The Willard Intercontinental Hotel comes immediately to mind.