The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2026

It goes without saying that the United States, at the end of the first full year of Der Furor's disastrous second reign, is hardly the nation in which I grew up and which I proudly served in my Air Force career. There are many reasons for this, not the least of which is the credulousness and ignorance of Americans who believed that an narcissistic carnival pitchman utterly unqualified for the presidency actually cared about them and would address the issues they cared about. But another, greater reason for the miserable state of the nation is the failure of our elected representatives to do their jobs and exert the checks and balances that have ensured our government remained at least nominally responsive to the American people for almost 250 years. 

The House of Representatives is utterly useless, proving itself under the embarrassing "leadership" of Speaker Mike Johnson to be the least productive assembly in generations, but even worse than the behavior of a House ruined by gerrymandering, scientific ignorance, religious bigotry, and blind obedience to Der Furor is the deplorable performance of the Senate - the organization once known as "the world's greatest deliberative body."

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the tinfoil and toilet paper crown designating

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2026

is presented to

The United States Senate

To illustrate the value and usefulness of today's Senate, I have chosen not just a potted plant, defined by the Urban Dictionary as

"An individual (usually in a position of power) who is unable or unwilling to move forward with new ideas, methods to improve their business or get key decision makers involved because they are stuck in their old ways of thinking; becoming as worthless as a potted plant that just takes up desk space,"

but a dead potted plant.

We are cursed by a Senate dominated by rigid conservatives afraid of losing their power and privilege and afraid to cross an obviously unbalanced and dangerously authoritarian president. A Senate that twice passed on the opportunity to convict Der Furor after his impeachment by the House of Representatives. A Senate that voted to confirm Der Furor's dangerously unqualified lackeys to positions of great responsibility. A Senate that buries its head in the sand of Der Furor's demonstratively wild fictions rather than accepting reality and working in the service of all the American people, not just the screaming radicals who threaten primary election losses and the wealthy and corporate donors who keep them in power and line their pockets.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2025, is the United States Senate - once known for such towering figures as Daniel Webster, Henry Clay, and John McCain, and now staffed with spineless nonentities like Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, and Tommy Tuberville. We are well and truly screwed.

Have a good day. Watch the behavior of your elected Senators and Reprehensibles, consider whether they are serving you and the nation or the monied interests that have purchased them, and vote accordingly.

More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday visits the original buddy story - Moby Dick and Captain Ahab. See you then.

Bilbo