Ass Clown Special Award

It's been that kind of year, hasn't it?

Between the bizarre chaos of Der Furor's regime, the ghastly expense of the midterm elections, and the behavior of many of our fellow citizens, 2026 is surely going to be a year for the record books ... as well as a year for Ass Clown Awards. This month has already seen two routine (Right-Cheek and Left-Cheek) and one Special ass clown awards, with an On-Crack award scheduled for a week from today. But such is this insane time that I find it necessary to wedge in yet another

Ass Clown Special Award

and it goes to not one, but two supremely deserving ass clowns - 

Steve Witkoff

(he's the one on the right)

and

Vivek Ramaswami

Mr Witkoff, Der Furor's "Special Representative" for whatever needs special representing, set a new standard for - in the words of historian Steven Beschloss - "sniveling obeisance" when he told murderously psychopathic Russian president Vladimir Putin at a meeting in St Petersburg (Russia, not Florida),  

“You talk so much about my president, President Trump, being a humanitarian. You are a humanitarian also, sir, and I salute that. I commend you, and I thank you again.”

That such a woefully unqualified and sycophantic representative of the United States government would debase himself and his position and undercut the honor and dignity of the nation is beyond despicable.

The second awardee, Vivek Ramaswami, plumbed new depths of cruelty and dishonor this past week when he published a nauseatingly cruel and utterly false video ad that used recordings of the seriously unwell mother of Dr Amy Acton to lie about Dr Acton's history of childhood abuse. Dr Acton's brother responded this way,

"After [our stepfather] was arrested and Amy and I were removed from their custody, our birth mother stayed married to Amy’s rapist until he died. This desperate, disgusting attack reveals exactly who Vivek Ramaswamy is at his core—a pathetic excuse for a man who is willing to hurt anyone as long as it gets him what he wants."

For her part, Dr Acton said,

“I think it was a terrible thing to do this to someone who is not well, as my birth mother isn’t. I know my opponent will stoop to anything to get ahead.”

Mr Ramaswamy not only refused to apologize for the slanderously misleading ad, but instead doubled down, spending another $4 million to keep running it while a handful of Republicans tepidly and performatively objected. And were that not enough, Vice Furor JD Vance told an Ohio rally this past Wednesday,

“I have to admit that I’m a little bit disgusted when I see Republicans across the country who are whining more about that advertisement than they are about what the congressional Democrats and other Democrats want to do to the United States of America.” 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I present this out-of-cycle Ass Clown Special Award to two of the worst representatives of American "leadership" and values I've seen in my lifetime - Steve Witkoff and Vivek Ramaswamy. They make me ashamed to be an American.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo