Lessons from Christmas Songs

Christmas songs provide us with elements of warmth and joy that are sadly needed in times like these. They teach lessons of selflessness and brotherhood along with those of the what-can-Santa-bring-me sort. And, oddly enough, they can teach us some grammar lessons.

I recently ran across this interesting 2015 article from Mental Floss: 6 Grammar Lessons Hidden in Christmas Songs. Don't worry - you don't have to be a linguist to enjoy it, and you may learn something about the songs you sing along with the holiday mall music. One of the lessons I found particularly interesting concerns the traditional song, God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen, which suffers from the indignity of a somewhat-unexpected comma. The article tells us that the song does not tell us that the merry gentlemen should rest, but that the gentlemen should rest merry, which was a way of expressing good wishes in the English language of Shakespeare's time.

You need to watch those commas ... after all, they've caused no end of problems in other areas, such as in the Holy Second Amendment (let me hear you say hallelujah!), which reads,

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

Those pesky commas between "Militia" and "being" and between "Arms" and "shall" have been argued and litigated ad nauseum by all sides of the gun rights argument, without any noticeable result other than a continually-rising body count.

But let us not discuss that now, because at this time of year I prefer to think about silent nights, little drummer boys, all the faithful coming, and whether you hear what I hear. There's plenty of time to think about the joy of deadly weapons the other 11 months of the year.

Have a good day, and rest merry. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Songs Everyone over 50 Should Own?

Yes, I belong to AARP, the American Association of Retired Persons. This makes me an official, card-carrying Cantankerous* Old Fart, dadgummit.

Although I am a proudly Cantankerous Old Fart (#grumpyopa), I don't always agree with everything AARP endorses, and one example is represented by this article from the AARP website: 16 Songs Everyone Over 50 Should Own. This is the list, compiled by writer Jacqueline Mitchard:

Once Upon a Time, by Frank Sinatra

Harvest Moon, by Neil Young

Lately, by Stevie Wonder

A House Is Not a Home, by Dionne Warwick

Little Green, by Joni Mitchell

Gangsta's Paradise, by Coolio

Landslide, by Stevie Nicks

* Hotel California, by The Eagles

You Shook Me All Night Long, by AC/DC

* C'est La Vie, by Emmylou Harris

* He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones

For What It's Worth, by Buffalo Springfield

* Crazy, by Patsy Cline

* God Only Knows, by The Beach Boys

Jailhouse Rock, by Elvis Presley

In My Life, by The Beatles

Well ...

I don't think much of this list, although there are a few (five, to be exact) songs on it that are on my "Very Favorite" playlist (they're marked with asterisks before the title). I agree that Stevie Nicks belongs on the list, but I would replace Landslide with If Anyone Falls. God Only Knows is fabulous, as is Hotel California. Elvis and Neil Young belong on the list, but I'd go with Return to Sender rather than Jailhouse Rock for Elvis, and I'd represent Neil Young with Unknown Legend rather than Harvest Moon. I can't stand rap, so my list would drop Coolio or any other rap or hip-hop performer. And Joni Mitchell should give up her place to Judy Collins - either Song for Judith or Send In the Clowns ought to be on the list. No AC/DC - make it ZZ Top and Sharp-Dressed Man. The Beatles are okay, but I'd go with Eleanor Rigby, and I'd just drop George Jones, Emmylou Harris, Buffalo Springfield, Dionne Warwick, and Stevie Wonder.

Above all, how can anyone over 50 not own some Jimmy Buffett? I'd be hard-pressed to pick a single tune, but A Pirate Looks at Forty, Growing Older, But Not Up, It's My Job, and Perfect Partner are top contenders.

So, how about you, fellow Geezers, Geezerettes, and future Geezers ... what would be on your over-50 playlist? Leave a comment so we can share the tunes.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when we offer the next collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage. See you then.

Bilbo

* And isn't "cantankerous" a great word? It makes for some good alliterative combinations, as in "cantankerous curmudgeon."

Diagramming Things

Back in grade school, many years before I learned that I loved linguistics, one of the things I hated having to do was diagram sentences. I don't know if diagramming sentences is still taught in grade school English classes, but if it isn't it should be. It's a useful skill for learning good grammar and sentence construction, even if it's a pain in the neck. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Here's an example of how we might diagram the sentence "The thought of getting up and working is alarming":

Sometimes, diagramming a sentence can be more of a challenge than usual ...

And sometimes it can be applied to more than just a simple (or Palinistically complex) sentence ... a song, for instance. Here's an example, using the Beatles' classic "Hey, Jude"* ...

Grammatical diagramming. Linguists kick butt.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* As it happens, I'm famous at work for my rendition of "Hey, Jude" with a heavy German accent. My co-workers are easily amused.

Great Moments In Musical History

I love music. So do most children, even if they have trouble expressing their knowledge about the subject. What follows is a collection of quotes supposedly drawn from essays about music written by grade school children ...

J.S. Bach died from 1750 to the present.

Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.

Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you better not try to sing.

Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling him. I guess he could not hear so good. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this.

Henry Purcell is a well-known composer few people have ever heard of.

An opera is a song of bigly size.

A harp is a nude piano

Aaron Copland is one of our most famous contemporary composers. It is unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead.

A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel.

I know what a sextet is but I'd rather not say.

Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.

My favorite composer is opus.

Probably the most marvelous fugue was between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

My very best liked piece is the bronze lullaby.


Have a good day. Enjoy the music. And come back tomorrow, when we'll announce our Left Cheek Ass Clown of the Month ... along with other news.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

It's All About That Bass!

As you know, Dear Readers, I love music of almost all sorts ... about the only style of music I don't like is rap/hip-hop. When I'm working, I like to have music playing in the background - Gregorian chants, especially, but I'll also take soft rock/easy listening. My primary iPod playlist (I call it "The Very Best") has almost 700 songs on it, and grows pretty much daily.

Over the years I've shared a number of songs with you that I've particularly enjoyed, and today I have a great new one.

A few days ago one of my friends shared this video on her Facebook page ... I loved the song and I especially loved the video. Just remember ... it's all about that bass ...

And ladies, just remember what the song tells you*:

"Yeah, my momma she told me don't worry about your size
She said, boys like a little more booty to hold at night
You know I won't be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll,
So, if that's what's you're into
Then go ahead and move along ..."

Trust me ... it really is all about that bass!

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* I absolutely agree! When I hug a lady, I'd prefer she feel like a pillow filled with warm milk rather than a paper bag full of coat hangers.

Special Music

Yesterday, I shared some of my "special" books, some the ones that are my favorites for various reasons. Today, I thought I might share some of my "special" music - the songs and instrumental pieces that I particularly enjoy. The list is very long, but here's a sample to start you off ...

Angel Mine, by the Cowboy Junkies. One of my favorite love songs ...

Bullshit, by Grace Jones. I could sing this about sixteen times a day. On a good day ...

Mr Shorty, by Marty Robbins. I love a song that tells a good story, and the storytelling songs don't get much better than this one about the day a pint-sized gunfighter in the Old West got pushed a bit too far ...

Fields of Gold, by Sting. Another great love song. The perfect blend of music and lyrics ...

Herbstgewitter ueber Daechern, by Reinhard Mey. I realize that most of you don't speak German, but this is a fantastic song that puts to rest the idea that German is a harsh and unmelodic language. The title translates as Autumn Thunderstorms over the Rooftops, and here's a sample of the wonderful lyrics:

Haett' ich all das nie vernommen,
Waer' fuer alles taub, und hoert
Nur ein Wort von dir gesprochen - 
Sag' ich doch, ich hab' gehoert.

If I'd never heard anything else,
If I were completely deaf, and yet heard
You speak a single word,
I'd know that I'd heard (enough).

Just a few of my favorite songs. What are some of yours? Leave a comment so we can all share.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow. 

Bilbo

Charlie Dore and I on the Radio

As some of you know, for nine years I had a radio show - "The Audio Attic" - on the Fairfax County Public Access radio station, WEBR, 88.5 FM (nowadays called Radio Fairfax). I'd always wanted to be a radio DJ, and when the opportunity arose to have my own show, I jumped at it.

The theme song I used to close out each of my shows was the 1979 hit by Charlie Dore about a young woman and her favorite DJ. The song was called "Pilot of the Airwaves," and because it just popped up on my random playlist that's going in the background, I thought I'd share it with you in case you haven't heard it ...

She's still beautiful and going strong today ...

Just a little musical interlude to start off your day, from one of my favorite artists. I hope that day is a good one.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo