Size and Space

I was a young lad at the dawn of the Space Age. I watched early science fiction television shows like "Men into Space" (and had my Colonel McCauley space helmet in the closet alongside my Davy Crockett coonskin cap and my Foreign Legion kepi) and followed the Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo space programs. My uncle Joe, Dad's brother, worked as an engineer at NASA and sent me all sorts of things from Cape Canaveral (later Cape Kennedy, then back to Cape Canaveral). I wrote letters to all the Mercury astronauts (except - petulantly - to Gus Grissom, whose Mercury spacecraft "Liberty Bell 7" sank in the ocean after landing*). In my collection of letters is a note I got back from a young Mercury astronaut named John Glenn, who returned the photo I'd sent him with the comment that "I'm sure there are a lot of pretty girls out there who would like your picture more than I would."

When men first walked on the moon, I was camping in the Sangre de Cristo mountains of Colorado, and didn't learn that the mission had succeeded until we came down out of the mountains a few days later. I chewed my nails with the rest of America when a critically damaged Apollo 13 limped back to earth, mourned with the rest of America when the space shuttle Challenger exploded during its flight, gasped at the wonderful pictures of Jupiter and Saturn taken by the Voyager spacecraft, wondered at the marvelous photos returned by the Hubble Space Telescope, and cheered when NASA threaded the eye of a needle billions of miles away, sending the New Horizons craft past Pluto with a degree of accuracy nothing less than astonishing.

I love the space program, and the way it fuels our imagination and our desire to do great things.

But it also makes me feel small and humble in consideration of what it means in terms of our place in the universe.

I told you all of the above so that I could call your attention to this fascinating article published last week in the Vox online magazine: 11 Images That Capture the Incredible Vastness of Space. I won't share all the images with you, but these are some of the ones I found especially thought-provoking:

The first one reminds us that our sun is "incomprehensibly huge" ... as this image suggests:

But even as the sun may be "incomprehensibly huge," it's the merest pipsqueak in comparison to other gargantuan stars we have discovered, as shown in this comparison chart ...

This picture shows how Saturn would look from earth if it were as far away as the moon ...

And remember that comet where the Philae probe landed last year? This shows you how big it is in relation to the city of Los Angeles ...

It took the New Horizons spacecraft nine years to reach Pluto, more than 4 1/2 billion miles away. The nearest star to us is Proxima Centauri, so far away that we have to use light-years, the distance light travels in one year, to express its mind-boggling remoteness ... Proxima Centauri is 4.24 light years away. And the most distant object yet seen by humans - with the assistance of powerful telescopes, is 13.1 billion light years away.

The realm of science fiction gives us warp drive (from "Star Trek"), hyperdrive (from the "Tom Corbett, Space Cadet" series), "jump drives," "light speed," and other literary and cinematic dodges** that allow man to conquer the inconceivable vastness of space. But none of those are likely to arrive in our lifetimes, and so we will remain here on our infinitesimal blue speck in the endless span of eternity, using our telescopes and our unmanned spacecraft and our imaginations to consider what ... and who ... might be out there beyond our vision.

I don't know about you, but it makes me feel pretty humble***.

Have a good day here on our rapidly changing pale blue dot. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* I felt bad about that after Grissom was killed in 1967 in a tragic fire during a pre-launch test for their planned Apollo mission, along with astronauts Ed White and Roger Chaffee. 

** We won't mention the "ludicrous speed" attained by the evil Dark Helmet in Mel Brooks' film, "Spaceballs."

*** And if you need another dose of humility, check out the classic 1977 short film "Powers of Ten."

Term Limits

One thing you hear a great deal of discussion about, but very little action on, is the topic of term limits for our elected representatives. It's one of those things everyone thinks is a great idea for all those worthless bums in Congress ... except for their own Senator or Representative, who is a fine gentleman and a sober and responsible statesman. This is why term limit propositions never go anywhere.

The Constitution does not place limits on any elected position except the presidency; the 22nd Amendment limits the President to two terms. Article 1, Section 2, Clause 1 establishes a term of two years for Representatives, and Article 1, Section 3, Clause 1 (later modified by the 17th Amendment) establishes a term of six years for Senators; however, there are no limits placed on the number of times a particular Senator or Representative may be reelected.

The practical result of this is that the people of a state or a congressional district can keep voting a particular Senator or Representative into office as long as they want until he or she - quite literally - dies of old age*.

Now, this might not be a problem if all that were important is that the people who are being represented are happy with the job their Senator or Representative is doing. After all, the elected official is supposed to do their will, is he (or she) not? But because important positions like committee chairs are awarded to members of Congress on the basis of (1) which party's in power and (2) seniority, we can end up with certain members wielding extraordinary power and shaping the actions of government in consideration of the interests of their state or district, without regard for the welfare of the nation as a whole. Consider the enormous amount of Federal spending that made its way to the relatively small state of West Virginia during Senator Robert Byrd's long control of the Senate Appropriations Committee.

And it gets more problematic when you consider the impact of unlimited terms coupled with congressional districts which have been gerrymandered to death in order to preserve the seat for one party, or to minimize the representative abilities of the other. The combination of the two is a guaranteed recipe for perpetual control of a district by a single party and the insane congressional gridlock we see today.

I believe term limits should apply to all elected officials - not just the president. A recent Facebook post by Representative Lee Zeldin (R, NY) expressed support for term limits and asked for feedback on several potential options:

(1) Four two-year terms;

(2) Six two-year terms;

(3) Two four-year terms;

(4) Three four-year terms;

(5) The status quo; or,

(6) Something else.

Rep Zeldin's post had gotten 202 comments the last time I checked, with option 3 (two four-year terms) having a slight lead.

We need to have an option that allows for legislative continuity without homesteading. We need term limits that provide enough time for an elected official to learn the ropes and be effective, but not enough time to go legislatively native, letting power go to the head and forgetting where he or she came from.

As I see it, two-year terms are much too short. Members of Congress already spend too much of their time engaged in fund raising for the party as a whole or for their next election, which is always right around the corner. This limits the amount of time they have available to do the job they were elected to do.

Four year terms are better: they allow the individual to learn on the job and become effective, and let the voters see whether they got what they thought they elected. There's more time between elections, and so (theoretically, at least) there should be less time spent on fundraising. I believe the optimum structure is to elect Senators and Representatives the same way we do the President: for a maximum of two four-year terms ... a total of eight years in office.

This would, of course, require an amendment to the Constitution, but I think it is one that would be much more worthwhile than some of the many amendments that are proposed each session.

So, Dear Readers, what do you think? Are term limits a good thing or a bad thing**? If they're good, what do you think is the appropriate limit and why? Leave a comment, because enquiring minds want to know.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* See Claude Pepper of Florida and Robert Byrd of West Virginia for examples.

** Sadly, there are no limits on stupidity, regardless of length of term ... so be careful who you vote for.

Labor Day

Today, September 7th, is the American holiday of Labor Day, meant to honor the American labor movement and the contributions that workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of the United States. Most of the rest of the world has its equivalent of Labor Day as well, and most countries observe it on May 1st, which is known as International Workers Day.

It seems to me that Labor Day in its traditional sense of honoring the American labor movement and the contributions of workers is pretty much a sham nowadays. Conservative legislators and governors have gone out of their way to gut the ability of unions to represent workers, and big business puts profit over the interests of its workers by shipping jobs to other countries where labor costs are lower and they aren't bothered by pesky nuisances like workplace safety rules, taxes, and other job-killing^TM measures. Working men and women are viewed not as valued members of the business team to be trained and nurtured but as an expense to be minimized.

And so, for this holiday honoring what's left of the American labor movement, and the underappreciated American worker, this cartoon from last weekend's Cartoon Saturday collection applies in spades ...

Have a good day, and enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend ... assuming you have a job and were fortunate enough to get the day off.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

Wes Craven, the director of such frightening films as "Nightmare on Elm Street," "Scream," and "The Last House on the Left," died this past week. In his memory, I thought this week I'd feature this poem that seemed appropriate ...

Scary Movies

by Kim Addonizio

Today the cloud shapes are terrifying,
and I keep expecting some enormous
black-and-white B-movie Cyclops
to appear at the edge of the horizon,

to come striding over the ocean
and drag me from my kitchen
to the deep cave that flickered
into my young brain one Saturday

at the Baronet Theater where I sat helpless
between my older brothers, pumped up
on candy and horror—that cave,
the litter of human bones

gnawed on and flung toward the entrance,
I can smell their stench as clearly
as the bacon fat from breakfast. This
is how it feels to lose it—

not sanity, I mean, but whatever it is
that helps you get up in the morning
and actually leave the house
on those days when it seems like death

in his brown uniform
is cruising his panel truck
of packages through your neighborhood.
I think of a friend's voice

and the mail still arriving,
and I feel as afraid as I was
after all those vampire movies
when I'd come home and lie awake

all night, rigid in my bed,
unable to get up
even to pee because the undead
were waiting underneath it;

if I so much as struck a bare
foot out there in the unprotected air
they'd grab me by the ankle and pull me
under. And my parents said there was

nothing there, when I was older
I would know better, and now
they're dead, and I'm older,
and I know better.

on her answering machine—
Hi, I'm not here—
the morning of her funeral,
the calls filling up the tape

Wes Craven is gone, but there are other directors still churning out scary movies. For my part, I'm waiting to see Guillermo del Toro's Crimson Peak when it's released next month ... the trailers alone have scared me poopless.

Have a good day, and enjoy the rest of your Labor Day weekend. Tomorrow we'll have more thoughts related to the holiday - come back then.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Today is Saturday, September 5th - the first Cartoon Saturday of the new month! Since Agnes and I are visiting the family in Pittsburgh this weekend, I don't have time for the usual bad news summary, but I'm sure you're familiar with it all anyway.

In honor of the Labor Day holiday weekend, this week's collection of theme cartoons deals with - what else? - jobs and the workplace.

We lead off with this ultimate Labor Day greeting ...

An interesting question: how do you call in sick when you're teleworking from home?

Never say things can't get any worse at work ...

This is how employee recognition seems to work in most places ...

I've worked in cubicle farms that are like this ...

Labor Day greetings from the people overseas your job was outsourced to ...

I can see this coming ...

Some of us are more easily replaced by machines than others ...

What happens when downsizing doesn't work any more?

This one really speaks to me!

Happy Labor Day! If you have the day off, enjoy it. If you don't, you can at least be thankful that you have a job.

Come back tomorrow for Poetry Sunday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing

It's a new month, and time for our latest collection of Great Moments in Editing ... I know you're anxious, so let's get right to them ...

I wonder if it was the math teacher who figured this out ...

It must have been a heck of a prom ...

I wonder what the first clue was ...

Well, it's not in my garage ...

I like it when the job qualifications are clearly spelled out ...

Okaaaaaayyyyy ...

Sometimes editors need specific directions ...

I suppose this is true. I just hope it's not anyone that's in the current running ...

If the rattlesnakes are walking, I'm running ...

And finally, some people are easily amused ...

There you have it - our first collection of editorial gems for September of 2015. Have you seen any good bloopers, in print or on signs in your area? Send me a scan or a photo for a future iteration of Great Moments in Editing, and I'll give you credit for the contribution. No cash ... just credit.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Great News!

As we bob helplessly in the swirling cesspool of political BS and chicanery, there's a ray of hope for those of us wishing for better! I call your attention to this article from last August 19th: Nearly Complete Human Brain Grown in US Lab.

Yes, Dear Readers, according to the article, a professor at a laboratory at Ohio State University has grown a brain equal in maturity to that of a five-week-old fetus, which would make it the intellectual equal of many current members of Congress, supporters of Donald Trump*, and the Tinfoil Hat Brigades. If the experiment continues and results in a fully-developed brain, we may be able to dispense with the expense and the scripted ass-clownery of elections by simply growing the brains we need, or replacing the ones that have gotten lost ...

It can't be any worse than what we have now, could it? And who knows, in time, the price of a new brain might come down to where anyone could afford one ... even for those who continue to support political parties that steadfastly work against their economic interests.

Have a good day. See you tomorrow for September's first collection of Great Moments in Editing. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* The man memorably described in a wonderful Op-Ed article by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar as, "... a last-call candidate who looks good in the boozy dark of political inebriation."

Renaming Things

President Obama has come in for the usual mix of kudos and hysterical opposition for his decision this week to officially change the name of America's highest mountain, Alaska's Mount McKinley, back to its original native Alaskan name of Denali ...

Native Alaskans are delighted, and residents of Ohio - the home state of President William McKinley, for whom the mountain was named in 1917 - are outraged ... as are Republicans, who are outraged over anything the President does, anyhow. For my part, I think that Denali is a much more lyrical and majestic name.

In my opinion, it's a tempest in the proverbial teapot. Things get renamed all the time, and someone's social or political ox often gets gored in the process. In the wake of the furor over display of the Confederate battle flag in some southern states, in which the offending flag came down almost everywhere, the victorious flag opponents went on to insist that anything named for a figure of the Old Confederacy be renamed for a more politically correct figure. Here in Virginia, it seems like every other highway, school, or public building is named for Jefferson Davis (the Confederate President) or any of a host of Confederate Generals like Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and Jeb Stuart ... this would make for a lot of renaming, and not everyone is happy about it except Republicans, who are salivating at the huge number of things they can now name for Ronald Reagan*.

Things that aren't named for famous (or infamous) people are often named for their corporate sponsors. Locally, the Washington football team** plays at "FedEx Field," and the "Jiffy Lube Amphitheater" and the "Verizon Center" are popular concert venues. Again, there are ample opportunities to rename things along these lines, such as the "NRA House of Representatives" or the "Koch Brothers Senate."

But getting back to the issue of renaming geographical features, what are some of the other things that the President might choose to rename before the expiration of his term***? This question was asked in an interesting article in the Washington Post the other day ... the list includes Mount Rushmore (named for an obscure New York lawyer, of all people); Mount St Helens (named in 1792 for the British Ambassador to Spain, Alleyne Fitzherbert, Baron St. Helens); and Lake Superior (so called because, well, it's pretty big). They might revert to their indigenous names: "The Six Grandfathers," "Louwala-Clough" (“smoking mountain”); and "Gitche-Gumee⁺."

So there are plenty of opportunities to rename things out there. What would you rename if you were the president? Leave a comment and let the rest of us know.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* We already have Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport, the Reagan Building, and the Ronald Wilson Reagan Memorial Highway, just to name a few. Of course, Saint Reagan would never be accepted by today's Republican party, but a little historical ignorance and revisionism is a fine thing for a political party in need of a hero.

** You're not supposed to call them the Redskins any more.

*** There is no truth to the rumor that his next act will be to rename "Hawaii" as "Kenya."

⁺ Which you know from Gordon Lightfoot's song, "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald."

The Vehicle Option We Really Need

I ran across this interesting article the other day: 10 Illegal Vehicle Options You May Not Be Able to Enjoy. It discusses a series of options, some of them potentially quite useful, which are actually either completely illegal or illegal in some states or countries.

Some of these options seem to me to be pretty useful, such as Aspherical Side View Mirrors which curve away toward the outer edge so as to cover the car's blind spot. They are apparently only illegal because of bureaucratic and legislative delays in Washington*.

Another potentially useful, but illegal option (if you live in Europe) is Remote Starting, which allows you to start your car and let it warm up while you remain in your house ... a wonderful feature in miserably cold winter weather. I have no idea why this should be illegal anywhere, but I suppose there's some political issue that makes it hard. Go figure.

Strobing Brake Lights are another option that has been vetoed by regulators here in the states. They flash stroboscopically when the brake pedal is pushed with sudden force, theoretically making the suddenly-stopping car easier to see. I suppose they are considered illegal because of their potential effect on drivers suffering from epilepsy, but who knows?

Now, these and the other options listed in the article are interesting, but I believe they are missing out on the most important and useful option of all: .50 Caliber Machine Guns. This option would be strongly supported by the NRA and other advocates of the open carry of firearms in all venues. The argument would be the same as that made by open-carry advocates: it would encourage good behavior for fear of the potentially deadly outcome of bad behavior**. After all, who would cut you off in traffic if they knew you could hose them down with machine gun fire?

Even better than that, why not forget the guns as an option on your Beemer - go all out and hit the highway in your own World War II era halftrack with not two, but four .50 caliber machine guns on it! Couple it with your Gadsden Flag license plate and no lily-livered commiepinkoratbastard liberal pussy is gonna screw with you on the highway!

Drive with confidence and safety! Park where you want! Go for the option that defines 21st century American manhood - the Big Gun!

Have a good day. Drive ... defensively. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* I know ... it's hard to believe, isn't it?

** After all, as Robert Heinlein once wrote, "An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life." That must be why there have been so few gun deaths in Washington, DC, since the gun restrictions there were struck down by the Supreme Court, ha, ha.

Things That Make Linguists' Heads Explode

The venerable Oxford English Dictionary was recently updated, adding a list of new words that have gained usage traction since the last update. The new adds include:

Manspreading - ‘the practice whereby a man, especially one traveling on public transport, adopts a sitting position with his legs wide apart, in such a way as to encroach on an adjacent seat or seats.’

Cakeage - ‘a charge made by a restaurant for serving a cake that they have not supplied themselves.’ We had a major experience with this new word earlier this year, when the restaurant at which we had a small reception after the funeral of Agnes's father ordered three cakes for the guests, then charged us not for the cakes, but for each slice of each cake.

Rage-Quit - to ‘angrily abandon an activity or pursuit that has become frustrating, particularly a video game.’

Butt Dial - to call someone accidentally when sitting by compressing the buttons on a mobile phone carried in a rear pocket.

These new terms are all interesting and useful in context. There is one, however, that is just completely and utterly silly and - in my humble opinion - a ridiculous example of political correctness gone bizarrely wrong. I refer, of course, to the term Mx.

There was a time, not so long ago, when "MX" referred to a type of deadly intercontinental ballistic nuclear missile. Today, however, it is used as an utterly gender-neutral honorific before a person's name, replacing the "sexist" honorifics Mr, Miss, and Mrs, and replacing even Ms, which was itself supposed to be a neutral feminine honorific (there being no distinction between married and unmarried men with the use of Mr for both).

Mx??  Mx?? For pete's sake, how would you even pronounce it?

Now, don't get me wrong ... I have no problem with getting rid of things that might lead to discrimination. But I think we've gone off the linguistic deep end with this one.

This is an Mx ...

This is not ...

Any questions? If so, please call 1-800-GET LIFE.

Have a good day, regardless of your preferred method of gender identity.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo