Interview with the Almighty

Things had gotten so bad in American politics that God finally decided he needed to step in and sort things out. He invited former presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama, and sitting president Donald Trump to discuss how to make things better.

God began by turning first to Mr Bush and asking: "What do you believe in?"

Mr Bush replied: "I believe in free markets, low taxes, the Second Amendment, and a strong American nation!"

"Very well," said God. "Come and sit here at my right hand."

God then turned to Mr Obama and asked the same question: "What do you believe in?"

Obama immediately answered: "I believe in the power of democracy, equality of opportunity, and equal rights for all."

"Good," said God, nodding approvingly. "Come and sit to my left."

Finally, God turned to Donald Trump and asked: "What do you believe in?"

Trump replied: "I believe you're sitting in my chair, loser."

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for the announcement of our Right-Cheek Ass Clown for February. More thought then.

Bilbo

Dropping Alternatives to the F-Bomb

You may recall that I recently offered a list of "Things People Don't Say Any More" - quaint expressions that are memorable to people of my age or older and (in my opinion) worthy of linguistic resuscitation. Many of you felt the same, judging from the comments I received on the post and on my Facebook page where I shared it.

Soon after that, I received from one of my long-time friends this wonderful list of "Alternative Cuss Words" for use by those who wish to avoid the dropping of the f-bomb and the use of other crude language ...

If you already saw this on my Facebook page, I'm sorry for the repeat ... but I thought it was worth sharing to a larger audience at this juncture in our political history, when crudity has become the standard currency of discourse.

Also worth adding to the list are two Russian words which are perfectly innocent, but can - with the right snarl in the voice - sound like the most foul of curses: chemodan (pronounced chem - uh - DAWN) and ptitsa (pronounced puh -TEET - tsuh). The former means suitcase and the latter, bird.

It's worth noting that my mother - one of the most literate and polite of people - was fond of saying that curse words were for use by people not smart enough to say anything wittier. Although there may be times when things are so bad that only dropping the f-bomb or some other utterly foul curse will do, I think that it's generally better (and far more polite, and much better in the vicinity of small children) to be more creative.

So get with the program, you son/daughter of a motherless goat!

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Artificial Intelligence?

One of the classic themes of science fiction is that of machines turning on their human creators - the ultimate expression of the Law of Unintended Consequences*. The franchise almost everyone knows is "The Terminator," which was based on D.F. Jones' 1976 novel "Colossus," which in turn was derived from a terrifying 1967 story by Harlan Ellison called "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream." You could go even farther back, to a 1944 short story by Theodore Sturgeon titled Killdozer!.

This leads me to the discussion of an interesting, if disconcerting article by Steven Overly in yesterday's Washington Post: The Great Artificial Intelligence Gamble That Paid Off. It tells the story of a recent experiment conducted by Carnegie Mellon University to develop an artificial intelligence program that could play poker and beat human players - a similar effort to the one that developed "Deep Blue," the IBM computer that was able to beat reigning chess world champion Garry Kasparov in 1997. The poker program was able to defeat four professional players in one-on-one competition, winning more than $1.7 million.

The development of the poker-winning program was a significant milestone in the development of artificial intelligence (AI) because it showed that a computer can make decisions based on limited information and accumulated experience, the same way that humans do. It proved that AI could succeed in one-on-one competitions, although it was less effective when dealing with multiple players. As Mr Overly points out in his article, poker is a zero-sum game that operates within a well-defined set of rules and hierarchies of outcome, whereas decisions made in the real world “... often require compromise**, and whether one outcome is more or less desirable than another may depend entirely on the player’s perspective***.”

So, Dear Readers, what does this infer for our future relationship with machines? I, for one, am not ready for a machine that's smarter and makes better decisions than I do ... although most electric shoe buffers already fit into that category. Nor do I think I'm ready to hop into a self-driving car that relies on GPS and AI decision making on the rules of the road. While the future imagined by Theodore Sturgeon, D.F. Jones, Harlan Ellison, and the Terminator films may be overly dystopian, it isn't beyond the bounds of possibility. I think we need to be very careful about the way we integrate the use of AI in our decision making.

But then again, how bad can it be? We do a poor enough job relying on real intelligence, as evidenced by the outcome of the 2016 election.

Have a good day. Be more intelligent than your refrigerator. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* The law applies equally as well to politics as to science fiction, as Trump supporters are slowly finding out. 

** Although real people aren't very good at compromise any more, anyhow.

*** This is also true, as we observe the radical differences in how "the people" view the actions of the Trump administration based on their political and economic perspectives.

A Non-Political Post

I'm getting tired of arguing with my friends and colleagues about political topics, so here is a non-offensive, non-political post -

You're welcome.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Musical Sunday

Since Mexico isn't getting much love from the Trump administration lately*, I thought I'd share an upbeat song about the much-maligned country by Jimmy Buffett ...

Buenas dias. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* As if any other country is, unless it's got Trump business interests in it.

Cartoon Saturday

Don't worry about the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus going out of business ... it's been ably replaced by the Trump administration.

President Trump* continued his effort to look like a sober and responsible statesman by insulting the Australian prime minister and hanging up on him during an official phone call, then continued his efforts by using his comments at the National Prayer Breakfast this past Thursday to ask attendees to pray for better ratings for Arnold Schwarzenegger**, who replaced him as the star of the TV show "The Apprentice;" Mr Trump has begun taking action to dismantle the regulations imposed on Wall Street after the 2008 financial crisis; in South Dakota, state GOP lawmakers repealed an anti-corruption law approved by the state's voters on election day, claiming that "they didn't think voters knew what they were doing;" and in France on Friday, a man wielding a machete was shot by police at the Louvre museum when he attacked a group of soldiers.

This week, given the way things are going with the new administration, I thought a collection of cartoons featuring crash test dummies would be appropriate.

You have to be careful with these ride-seeking services ...

When dummies strike ...

How the ancient Egyptians tested the safety of chariots ...

I could have used one of these back in high school ...

Well, of course he is ...

Why am I not surprised?

Hitchhiking can be dangerous in many ways ...

I think this version would be more interesting ...

Yep ...

It's a good idea to be up front about some things ...

And there you are - the first set of cartoons for the new month. God knows we need them.

Have a good day and a great weekend, and come back tomorrow for Musical Sunday. More thoughts then. 

Bilbo

* It's still hard to say it.

** Trump has repeatedly insulted Schwarzenegger's hosting of the show, saying most recently that after he left the show, "The ratings went right down the tubes. It has been a disaster."

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

It's a new month, and time for a new set of Great Moments in Editing and Signage ...

I think there's a time machine involved here, somehow ...

The nerve! ...

I thought this headline was all bull, but ...

There are no words ...

I wonder what he's charging for the disposal ...

Describing your product well is the first step to closing the sale ...

I got this from one of my friends, who wanted to know if he could buy ten units, twice ...

If you can remember this, Mr Trump wants you for service in his Treasury Department ...

Uh, no thanks ...

I understand ...

And there you are - the first set of Great Moments in Editing and Signage for February, 2017. As always, if you should run across a potential item for this space, scan a copy or take a picture with your phone and send it to me for use in a future post. You will receive appropriate credit.

Have a good day. See you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

I'm Taking the Day Off

I need to recharge my mental batteries, so I'm taking a day off from blogging. Come back tomorrow for the first Great Moments in Editing and Signage for February.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Favorite Authors

As you all know, Dear Readers, I love to read. So does Agnes. So does my long-time blogging friend Andrea. And so, I'm sure, do many of the rest of you ... including my old high school friend Debbie, who is a retired librarian.

I got the idea for this post from author and public speaker David Brin, whose blog and Facebook page are sources of endless fascination. One of his recent blog posts was titled "Fifteen Authors," and responded to a question from a fan who asked for a list of authors whose books he (Brin) he would automatically purchase without question. I thought about it, and decided I'd take a shot at the question myself. Here are a few of the authors whose books I would automatically read and probably be willing to spend money on* ... books I'd like to own because I'd be likely to read them over and over. Listed with each author is a representative title I can strongly recommend:

Rennie Airth (River of Darkness). Mr Airth is the author of a series of superb mystery stories featuring Scotland Yard detective John Madden, a man haunted by his experiences in the First World War. The five Madden novels to date span the years between the end of World War I and the late 1940s, and are intriguing, well-plotted, atmospheric stories. River of Darkness is the first in the series; the most recent, just published last month, is The Death of Kings. Very highly recommended.

Philip Kerr (The Berlin Noir Trilogy). Mr Kerr has written a series of novels about Bernie Gunther, an apolitical police detective in Nazi Germany. The first three (and the best, in my opinion) novels of the series are: March Violets, The Pale Criminal, and A German Requiem. The stories are well-plotted, feature numerous historical figures, and study the moral issues faced by a policeman trying to fight "ordinary" crime in the Nazi era.

Donna Leon (The Commissario Brunetti mystery series). Donna Leon's series of novels about Commissario Guido Brunetti are set in the modern day, and each one is a gem of intricate plotting and fascinating insights into Italian politics and life. The stories are set in Venice, which is lovingly described ... you can almost imagine yourself there.

John Dunning (Two O'Clock, Eastern Wartime). John Dunning is perhaps best known for his "Bookman" mysteries, which follow the adventures of Cliff Janeway, a former police detective who is now the owner of a book store in Denver. While the Bookman series is uniformly excellent, my favorite is Two O'Clock, Eastern Wartime - a mystery set in a radio station on the east coast of the US during World War II. It has a great plot involving a murder with an interesting historical background, and is also chock full of information about radio broadcasting and writing in the 1940s. A great story.

Eric Hoffer (The True Believer). I've written about Eric Hoffer, the man known as "The Longshoreman Philosopher," in this blog many times before. He was a self-taught man with a brilliant mind, and his great work The True Believer is one of my all-time favorite books, well worth reading at this terrifying time in our history. It's short and as thought-provoking as anything you're ever likely to read, and all of his other books are worth your time as well.

That will do for the moment ... now tell me what authors you follow. Why should I do all the work here?

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Although I'm making a lot more use of the library now that I'm a retired geezer living on a fixed income that the GOP is determined to slash because I'm a lazy taker who did nothing more than serve his country, pay taxes his entire life, and marry a foreigner.

He Said What?

This is an interesting time to be a lover of language. All the discussion of fake news and alternative facts aside, following President Trump's style of communication offers a unique linguistic challenge. It's bad enough trying to follow his tortured syntax in English, but what about the problem the rest of the world has in trying to understand what the leader of the Free World is saying?*

As someone with many friends and relatives in Europe, many of whom speak no English or have limited facility with it as a second language, I can tell you that I spend a lot of time trying to explain just what I think it is that our president is saying. While Mr Trump's basic message is directed at the gut-level to his lower- to middle-class working American base, who understands what he means as opposed to what he says, his simplistic and convoluted language is not easy for the rest of the world to follow.

I call your attention to this very interesting article by Samantha Schmidt in the Washington Post: "'Make America Big Again’? The Headache of Translating Trump into Foreign Languages."

Start with Mr Trump's simple, direct campaign slogan: Make America Great Again. You and I both understand what he means by great ... but how would you translate great into another language? As Ms Schmidt points out in her article, it's usually translated as big or large, with the idea of a quality of political or social greatness as a secondary definition**. In English, it's the other way around.

And continuing on the theme of Make America Great Again, consider what we mean by America. There are two continents - North and South America - which between them contain 35 independent nations and a handful of dependent territories. The United States of America may be the largest and wealthiest, but it's still only one of 35 nations in "America." When we make America great again, do we take all the other ones along? Accurately translated, but far more cumbersome, the slogan should be Make the United States of America Great Again.

You can read more about this fascinating topic in Ms Schmidt's article, and you should. And you should also have some sympathy for those who have to convey the meaning of his twisted language to speakers of other languages.

Have a good day, and tell us about it clearly. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* I first wrote about this in my post "The Trump Thesaurus" on January 12th.

** For example, in German, the adjective gross means big or large, but it can also mean great ... as in Friedrich der Grosse - Frederick the Great.