Ass Clown Special Award

One of the most frightening things about present-day America is the precipitous decline in respect for the rule of law and our expectations of equal justice for all Americans, regardless of station. Much of it is because of the warped system of justice that allows the rich and powerful to evade responsibility for their misdeeds, whether by purchasing battalions of high-priced lawyers to overwhelm the prosecution, or by purchasing elected officials with huge campaign contributions or outright bribes in order to favorably shape the law during its creation. But much of it is because of the appearance ... and, indeed, the fact of a legal system that is corrupt and weighted against the average American.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today we present an out-of-schedule 

Ass Clown Special Award

to

Supreme Court Associate Justice

Clarence Thomas

One of the biggest stories in recent memory of the sad decline of American jurisprudence was the story broken by ProPublica last week of the decades of free luxury travel and other gifts provided to Justice Thomas by one of his "dearest friends," Republican megadonor Harlan Crow ... almost none of it in the past three decades disclosed under prevailing laws and ethical guidelines. Mr Crow's largesse included free travel on Crow's yacht and private jet, vacations at exclusive and expensive resorts, and numerous gifts of significant value. In one case alone, the combined value of private air travel and resort expenses for a private citizen could have reached $500,000. 

Justice Thomas issued a brief statement in which he tried to deflect responsibility for his ethical lapses by saying that

"Early in my tenure at the Court, I sought guidance from my colleagues and others in the judiciary, and was advised that this sort of personal hospitality from close personal friends, who did not have business before the Court, was not reportable ... I have endeavored to follow that counsel throughout my tenure, and have always sought to comply with the disclosure guidelines." 

You will note that Justice Thomas did not name any of the "colleagues and others in the judiciary" he claims to have consulted more than 30 years ago. He went on to say that

"These guidelines are now being changed, as the committee of the Judicial Conference responsible for financial disclosure for the entire federal judiciary just this past month announced new guidance. And, it is, of course, my intent to follow this guidance in the future."

Translation: I got caught, and I'll be more careful next time.

That the most conservative justice of the Supreme Court has for decades accepted hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars of free travel and entertainment from a well-known conservative Republican megadonor and failed to disclose it is bad enough. But compare it to the real-world ethical issues that people less important and lower on the economic and judicial food chain must deal with ...

Years ago, as a contractor working on the Air Staff at the Pentagon, my offer to donate $5 toward a birthday cake for a military co-worker was refused by the officer in charge of the department as a potentially improper contribution. And consider this recent tweet from former FBI agent and now law lecturer and news commentator Asha Rangappa ...

"Not for nothing but I was advised to never take advantage of so much as a 'law enforcement discount' (like at a restaurant or public transportation) bc it wasn’t a good look. Who knew I could get just get rich 'friends' to comp everything for me."

Former advisor to Vice President Pence Olivia Troye, now a popular talking head, expressed it this way on Twitter, in the very words I would have used if I could be that eloquent when furious ...

"If I had taken very luxurious vacations & had surrounded myself w/ exorbitant wealth & an unexpected lifestyle during my tenure as an intel officer, I would have been questioned & polygraphed. The questions would have implied-how does this affect my loyalty to our country? Can this be used as leverage for access? Could I be blackmailed? Good to know that if you’re Clarence Thomas on the Supreme Court, you don’t have to account for jack…."

Partisan lawyers and commentators argue that Justice Thomas simply misunderstood vague requirements and was innocently enjoying the benefits of having wealthy and well-connected friends able to bestow lavish gifts ... and that there's no binding code of ethics for Supreme Court justices, anyhow. I suggest it doesn't say much about a Supreme Court justice who doesn't understand the law, or ignorance of the optics of his actions. There is, of course, a fundamental legal principle - applicable only to those of us unable to afford the right lawyers - that "ignorance of the law is not a defense*." If you doubt me, try to use that excuse during your next traffic court appearance or IRS audit.

Supreme Court Associate Justice Clarence Thomas - a person to whom we should be able to look as a paragon of judicial fairness and legal rectitude - has proven himself to be utterly clueless of the appearance** of potential bias caused by his acceptance of valuable gifts and largesse from an individual whose deeply conservative political beliefs are aligned with his own ... not to mention his wife's deep involvement in the January 6th, 2021, attempt to overturn the results of a presidential election. At the very least, Justice Thomas should immediately recuse himself from any case in which Mr Crow or any of his interests or organizations is involved***; at best, he should do the honorable thing and resign.

But, of course, he won't, because the GOP will protect him to the very end and the news media will move on to the next temporary outrage. And he will continue to make a mockery of the idealistic inscription on the facade of the Supreme Court

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, Supreme Court Associate Justice Clarence Thomas is presented this Ass Clown Special Award for his plumbing of the darkest depths of political chicanery, graft, and clueless ass clownery in the finest GOP tradition.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* The official name is either "ignorantia juris non excusat" ("ignorance of the law does not excuse") or "ignorantia legis neminem excusat" ("ignorance of law excuses no one"). You can flash the Latin to impress your friends.

** And, more than likely, the reality.

*** In a statement to ProPublica, Mr Crow said he had "never sought to influence Justice Thomas on any legal or political issue." Wanna buy some land in Florida?

Musical Sunday

Today, April 9th, we celebrate the birthday of Harvard mathematician and satirical singer/songwriter Tom Lehrer, whose marvelously pithy and funny songs poked fun at just about everything and everyone you can imagine. Today, we recognize Mr Lehrer's birthday with his classic song "National Brotherhood Week," which is as pointedly accurate today as it was when it was released in 1965 ...

Here are the lyrics ...

Oh, the white folks hate the black folks,

And the black folks hate the white folks,

To hate all but the right folks

Is an old established rule.

But during

National Brotherhood Week, National Brotherhood Week,

Lena Horne and Sheriff Clark are dancing cheek to cheek.

It's fun to eulogize the people you despise

As long you don't let them in your school

Oh, the poor folks, hate the rich folks,

And the rich folks hate the poor folks,

All of my folks hate all of your folks,

It's American as apple pie.

But during

National Brotherhood Week, National Brotherhood Week,

New Yorkers love the Puerto Ricans cause it's very chic.

Stand up and shake the hand of someone you can't stand

You can tolerate him if you try.

Oh the Protestants hate the Catholics,

And the Catholics hate the Protestants,

And the Hindus hate the Muslims,

And everybody hates the Jews.

But during

National Brotherhood Week, National Brotherhood Week,

It's National Everyone-Smile-At-One-Another-hood Week.

Be nice to people who are inferior to you,

It's only for a week so have no fear - 

Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!

Tom Lehrer ... a national treasure.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Happy Easter, if you observe. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

As my Dad might once have said, if this week had been a fish, I'd have thrown it back ...

According to a report published in the journal ProPublica, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has accepted luxury gifts from a GOP megadonor for more than 20 years without disclosing them, in blatant violation of a law that requires justices, judges and members of Congress to disclose most gifts; air travelers are likely to expect more severe turbulence during flights as a result of the effects of climate change on upper level air currents*; the GOP supermajority in the Tennessee legislature expelled two young Black Democratic members for "lack of decorum," while sparing the seat of a white woman accused of the same infraction ... some Tennessee legislators described the expelled members' actions as "at least equivalent, maybe worse (than the January 6th, 2021 Capitol riot);" as most observers had expected, a deeply conservative Texas federal judge overrode decades of scientific opinion to order a ban on the drug mifipristone, which is often used to induce abortions ... within minutes, another federal judge issued a contradictory order, which ensures that the case will go to the Supreme Court**; and in (where else?) Florida, a naked man covered in wheel-bearing grease, peppermint oil and blood, and probably "under the influence of an unknown substance or substances," broke into two homes, then tried to evade police by jumping into a swimming pool and onto a trampoline ... it took four deputies to take the man into custody and three medical technicians to secure him to a stretcher for evaluation and treatment***.

This week, in recognition of far-right activists howling about the horrors of public education and the need for parents (who have not hitherto exhibited a great deal of interest in the topic) to control their children's education, I have selected a set of cartoons about where our school systems are today.

Times change ...  

This is about what the ultra-MAGA crowd is willing to let our children read ...

Sorry, kid, this bus goes to the private religious school that's being paid for with your parents' tax dollars ...

Times change, and excuses have to keep up ...

I wondered how discipline worked with classes conducted over Zoom ...

It's too late ...

This one is sad, rather than funny. And it's all too true ...

As a child of the 50's, I learned the duck-and-cover under your desk exercises in case of nuclear war. Now we have bulletproof desks and child-sized body armor ...

I often wonder why anyone would want to be a teacher any more, and I really admire those who do ...

I think in today's bizarre society, we know the correct answer to this question ...

And that's the way things are in schools today, as seen through the eyes of cartoonists. I wish the subject were funnier than it is.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, on Musical Sunday. See you then.

Bilbo

*This, of course, is foolish, as any good conservative can tell you that increasing air turbulence is exclusively attributable to the woke policies of the airlines.

** And I think we all know how THAT august body is likely to rule ...

*** He is expected to run for a Florida congressional seat as soon as he is released from custody.

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2023

I was having a great deal of difficulty in selecting this first Ass Clown for April. The swirling cesspool of drama surrounding the arrival (finally) of possible consequences for the criminal behavior of Der Furor yielded a bumper crop of candidates, including Der Furor himself, Empty G, the lachrymose Lindsey Graham, and countless others. There was the Tennessee legislature, which expelled two Black Democratic representatives who protested (inappropriately, but in about the only way they could) the legislature's inaction on gun violence ... and did not expel (by a single vote) a white woman representative accused of the same thing. There was Kid Rock, who shot up cases of Bud Light beer after the brewer was praised in a post by a transgender activist. There was Supreme Court Associate Justice Clarence Thomas, who was exposed in a report by ProPublica of having for decades not reported lavish and expensive gifts from a powerful Republican donor and political activist. And the list went on and on.

But I held my nose and finally settled on a winner.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers,

With a sad shrug for the state of the nation, I have decided to designate as

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2023

Wisconsin Supreme Court Candidate

Daniel Kelly

At a time when respect for civil discourse and democracy is on the ropes, and millions of people gleefully emulate the hateful and boorish behavior of Der Furor, a new low was reached in the wake of Wednesday's election for a Supreme Court seat in Wisconsin, where Democratic candidate Janet Protasiewicz trounced Republican Daniel Kelly by nearly 11 percentage points, giving the state's Supreme Court a liberal majority for the first time in 15 years.

When the results were announced, Mr Kelly declined to give a traditional concession speech. Instead, he delivered an angry and bitter tirade in which he said,

“I wish that in a circumstance like this I would be able to concede to a worthy opponent, but I do not have a worthy opponent to which I can concede.”

He went on to grudgingly add,

"I respect the decision that the people of Wisconsin have made, but I think this does not end well."

It has become sadly routine for some elected officials to behave poorly, but when a losing judicial candidate - a person from whom one might expect thoughtful, measured, indeed judicious behavior, delivers such a spiteful and angry non-concession, it does not bode well for the dignity of our courts and respect for the rule of law ... both of which have been seriously undermined by the antics of Der Furor and the Republican Party in general.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2023, is would-be Republican jurist Daniel Kelly - a poster child for the angry and intolerant right. One hopes that his loss is a good sign for the future of Wisconsin.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday - as always, you'll need it.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Fear, Honor, and Interest

My granddaughter recently introduced me to one of the funniest TV series I've seen in ages: "Cunk on Earth," carried on Netflix. It's a British mockumentary series starring comedian Diane Morgan as Philomena Cunk, a hopelessly clueless and ill-informed investigative reporter who walks the audience through a condensed version of human history in five episodes. Along the way, she "interviews" an array of real-world historians, philosophers, and subject matter experts, often leaving them struggling to provide rational answers to her bizarre questions. Part of the fun of the show is watching the looks on the faces of the interviewees as Philomena deadpans her way through some truly astounding questions.

But as it happens, the show occasionally stumbles upon a real gem of interest.

In Episode 4 ("Rise of the Machines"), Ms Cunk reports on the awesome savagery of the mechanized warfare of World War I, and asks Professor Ashley Jackson, Professor of Imperial and Military History at Kings College in London, 

"Why does humankind feel the need to invent killing machines like this, and could you keep your answer to a sort of soundbite length?"

Not missing a beat, Professor Jackson responds with one of the best summaries of history in a single soundbite I've ever heard:

"Fear, honor, and interest."

If ever there were three words that summed up the reasons we humans go to war, they are these ... and we see them play out not only in war, but in present-day America. 

Fear drives many (particularly white and "Christian") Americans to extreme positions as they see their domination of the nation's life and history slowly being eroded by the growing proportion of minorities in the population who seek their own piece of the American dream. 

Honor is a quaint concept that has lost its ability to affect American behavior, particularly among our elected members of Congress. One need only look at the fawning obsequiousness of Republicans toward a crude, angry blowhard like Der Furor as they scramble to defend him against criticism of his own self-indulgent and self-destructive behavior. To today's "MAGA" Republicans, honor is found only in the slavish worship of the person least worthy of it.

Interest is the driver of modern American business decisions. In a capitalist society, business decisions are made on the basis of profit and loss, rather than on any concept of social responsibility, while the working class makes decisions on the basis of being able to afford a home, education, and medical care for a family. When profits are threatened, the business solution is generally not favorable to those on the lowest rungs of the economic ladder.

I believe Professor Jackson was absolutely right in his immediate answer to Philomena's question, although it was focused on the human drive to war rather than on everyday human activity. Fear, honor, and interest are, indeed, the drivers of today's America.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

I'll be 72 years old this fall. On most days I don't feel that old, at least not after about 10:00 AM or so. But I find myself more and more reflecting about days past and friends gone and roads not taken*, much as W. S. Merwin does in today's poem ...

Old Man At Home Alone in the Morning 

by W. S. Merwin 

There are questions that I no longer ask

and others that I have not asked for a long time

that I return to and dust off and discover

that I’m smiling and the question

has always been me and that it is

no question at all but that it means

different things at the same time

yes I am old now and I am the child

I remember what are called the old days and there is

no one to ask how they became the old days

and if I ask myself there is no answer

so this is old and what I have become

and the answer is something I would come to

later when I was old but this morning

is not old and I am the morning

in which the autumn leaves have no question

as the breeze passes through them and is gone

"yes I am old now and I am the child

I remember what are called the old days and there is

no one to ask how they became the old days"

I don't care how they became the old days ... I care only that I lived them as best I could.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Sorry, Robert Frost.

  

Cartoon Saturday

Who comes up with these weeks, anyhow?

A grand jury in Manhattan has indicted Der Furor, making him the nation's first twice-impeached and criminally-indicted former president; actress Gwynneth Paltrow was cleared of fault in a 2016 skiing accident and awarded $1 in damages; the Vatican has repudiated papal decrees from nearly 500 years ago which were used to justify European colonial conquests and destroy the culture and livelihood of Indigenous people; in an act of blatant extortion, Russian authorities arrested New York Times reporter Evan Gershkovich on charges of spying; and a Ukrainian cyber warfare group published a trove of information about the officers of a Russian military unit, including a calendar of photos of the unit wives wearing little more than their husbands' uniform jackets ... they had been tricked into believing that they were supporting a morale-building operation for their deployed husbands.

In honor of my expectation of all the bills for my knee replacement starting to trickle in, this week we feature a collection of cartoons about the horror of paying for American medical care ... it's world class, as long as you bring money. Don't bother counting it, just weigh it ...

There are all sorts of tests that need to be run to identify potential problems with your care ...  

It doesn't always pay to go with the low bidder on your health ...

There's an art to prioritizing the drainage of potentially dangerous swellings ... 

If the GOP finally manages to come up with a health care plan, it will probably look much like this ...

It's a valid question, and the first one to ask after determining what your insurance will cover and what the co-pays are ...

This one is pretty close to reality ...

Whatever works ...

I did this Bayeux tapestry picture* after having to sit through the 87,962,591st TV ad for Medicare Advantage plans ...

I think this is the same plan I have ...

This will probably be a major feature of whatever Obamacare replacement the GOP finally agrees on ...

Of course, you could always just go with the old "an apple a day keeps the doctor away," but with the cost of apples at the moment, you may not be all that much better off.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns.

Bilbo

* You can make your own here!

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Last batch of the month, this time featuring food-related weirdness ...

Courtesy of my friend Birgitta; I wonder if the "stale" ham salad is cheaper ...  

Well, it would clean up that pile ...

It probably goes well with the cat poop coffee ...

Things ...

That's a low price for quality intimidation ...

Maple Blueberry Beef Patties. Uh, pass the boneless chicken things, please ...

Just the thing for that x-rated brunch ...

Well, yes, if you eat too much of them ...

Is it just me, or is this sign a little fishy? ...

You wouldn't want any of those half walnut halves now, would you? ...

And that's it for March! Have a good day and be sure to come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday - more thoughts then. 

Bilbo

Spam, or Not Spam? That Is the Question ...

Mike's post last Monday about disappearing comments on his blog, and their mysterious migration to spam, led me to go back and check my own comment history. Behold! There were 638 comments in my  "awaiting moderation" file on Blogger, many of which were, indeed, spam, but many of which I also remembered reading before they were somehow algorithmed away into the potentially-naughty dungeon.

WTH, over?

I spent some quality time working my way down the list (still not done as of this writing), approving most of the comments and deleting those which were actual spam. I'll not repeat the comments that Mike made in his post, but it occurred to me that spam comments seem to come in topical waves.  

There was a period in mid-2020 of multiple ads for "Ugg" boots, several spasms (no pun intended) of Viagra ads between 2018 and 2021, a series of ads for office furniture (?) in 2016, and repeated rounds of phishing for personal info (such as "I really like your blog, click here to read mine" and "Please send your contact information so I can share ideas with you") over many years. There are also periodic bursts of ads for whatever  wonder drug of the moment I should ask my doctor about.

Occasionally, the spam matches the topic of the post, leading me to suspect bots trolling for potential places to insert ads: just this morning, up popped a comment on a post from May of 2014 that dealt with the most widely spoken languages (other than English and Spanish) in each state ... the comment advertised private English tutors in Saudi Arabia. I doubt that many Saudis read my blog, but in case they ever do, they'll know where to find help with their English.

I've received relatively few crude comments of the "Pauline Hickey" sort that Mike has gotten ... I was getting them for a while, but they eventually ... uh ... petered out. 

And I have, of course, gotten the occasional broadside from people who consider me an America-hating, ratbastard commie socialist libtard who needs to go back where I came from (that would be Pittsburgh, I guess) when I express some objectionable bit of rational commentary. I just consider the source and move on.

Has anyone else noticed trends or cycles in spam comments? How about targeting of advertising comments that tie to your posts? Leave a comment ... I'm curious to know if it's just me conjuring up another conspiracy theory, or if it's a real thing.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming. 

Bilbo

Privilege, Luck, and Woke

One of the things I think about every day is how fortunate I am.

I was born into a large and loving family during the last generation in which parents could reasonably expect their children to enjoy better lives than they did ... my parents lived through the Great Depression and World War II, which helped to set their level of expectation for the world they'd leave to me and my siblings.  

I'm Caucasian by race, and claim no added hyphenations of ancestry or descent. I'm male. I grew up in a solidly middle-class family, lived in a nice suburban neighborhood, went to a parochial grade school and a good public high school, earned a bachelors degree in Linguistics thanks to my parents and the US Air Force*, served a 23-year military career which included travel and actual adventure, transitioned to a good-paying job with a military contractor after retirement, and finally retired for good in 2015**. I married twice, have three fine, successful children, and six wonderful grandchildren. Despite the ups and downs and shenanigans of the economy, we saved enough money to, along with my military retirement and Social Security, own*** a nice home and live pleasant lives in a safe and peaceful neighborhood.

Yes, I've been very lucky. Of course, I worked hard along the way, but I will never underestimate the fundamental advantages I've had through my life: good parents, a stable home, the "right" race, a good education, and lucky breaks at the right times. 

In today's parlance, I've enjoyed a healthy degree of privilege. I grew up in the United States of America at the zenith of its power and influence. I have not had to overcome any burdens imposed by socioeconomic class, race, or religion. At many points in my life, I've excelled not necessarily because I was the best or smartest guy available, but because I happened to be in the right place at the right time when opportunity knocked.

I acknowledge the boost that unasked-for, but available privilege and her cousin, luck, gave me throughout my life and career. Without them, I may not have achieved what I have or enjoyed the comfortable life that I do.

This willingness to acknowledge my advantages vis-a-vis others leads me humbly to embrace the adjective woke. Woke isn't some awful impulse to deny the greatness of my country or disparage its history ... it's an acknowledgement that our history has both good and bad elements, and that the "blessings of liberty" called out in the preamble to the Constitution have not always been equally distributed and enjoyed. As one of the characters in Margaret Atwood's brilliant novel The Handmaid's Tale commented, “Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse for some.”

Woke, though, has been appropriated by the conservative right as a derisive term implying a disgust on the part of the hated "libs" for all things American. If you are woke, the right claims, you hate your country and are willing to do anything to demean it ... everything bad that happens (hurricanes, bank failures, election losses, acne, etc) happens because of an excess of woke. Like its cousin antifa, it provides a handy bumper-sticker boogeyman for those whose actual knowledge of American history and politics is minimal, and whose level of empathy and human kindness barely move the needle on the measuring gauge.

I would never claim to be a paragon of righteousness. There are people of all races, colors, creeds, and political leanings that I don't like****. But I think I'm righteous enough to understand that I am ... or, at least, that I try to be ... woke in the real sense of the word.

I hope that you can be, too.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* I may have been one of the last officer candidates who could get a two-year ROTC scholarship without a major in engineering or hard sciences.

** I think ... it's gotten hard to keep track!

*** As long as we keep up the payments.

**** Led by Der Furor, whom I utterly despise.