Great Moments in Editing and Signage

New month, new collection!

I don't think the competition is overly worried ...

How we get deviled eggs ...

Well, that narrows it down ...

I think I've found another lawyer for Der Furor's stable ...

I think they need to find someone else to pick the color names ...

The sign was apparently stolen from Our Lady of Pornographic Imagery ...

Don't worry ... your freedom to purchase dangerous lunch boxes will be protected by conservatives angered about government overreach ...

Uh ... I think I'll park down the street ...

I realize it's not a good idea to ponder what goes into sausage in any case, but men's room sausage is a bit of a new thing ...

What you do when you have a lot of extra warning signs and decide to post them all at once ...

And so begins a new month of editorial and signage ya-ha's ... I hope you enjoyed them. Don't forget that I'm always looking for new examples, so if you see one, go ahead and send it to me. I'll give you credit when I use it.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for the first Cartoon Saturday of August. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

I tend to be an early riser ... most days I'm up and wide awake no later than 6:00, and usually by 5:00 or so. That's not to say I don't enjoy sleeping in, just that I seem to be biologically unable to do it most of the time. Today's poem speaks to the joys of burrowing in and enjoying just a bit more sleep than usual ...

Weekends, Sleeping In 

by Marjorie Saiser 

No jump-starting the day,

no bare feet slapping the floor

to bath and breakfast.

Dozing instead

in the nest

like, I suppose,

a pair of gophers

underground

in fuzz and wood shavings.

One jostles the other

in closed-eye luxury.

We are at last

perhaps

what we are:

uncombed,

unclothed,

mortal.

Pulse

and breath

and dream.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Hope you were able to get a few extra winks.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo  

Cartoon Saturday

Another great week, eh?.

Der Furor scored yet another charm on his indictment bracelet when several new counts were added to the indictment on mishandling of classified information; Congress adjourned for its summer recess without action on funding the government, making a government shutdown likely in the fall; two behavioral science researchers admitted that the data they presented in a study on honesty was fabricated; controversial singer Sinead O'Connor died at the age of 56; and in Lincoln County, Montana, two men settled an argument over priority at a boat landing by the traditional American method of murder-suicide.

This week, let's put together a collection of cartoons about the most widely-admired Swedish export since the fabled Bikini Team ... Ikea.

Only Lego blocks would be worse ...  

Where the UFOs are really from ...

Not quite a self-made man ...

If you've tried to decipher some Ikea instructions, you know how accurate this is ...

Follow instructions carefully ...

All the king's horses and men and a set of Ikea instructions ...

The job test ...

Traditional Swedish workmanship ...

But will his insurance cover that wrench? ...

Ikea chemistry ...

And we come to the end of another month of Cartoon Saturdays - a month when we surely needed the fun. I hope you enjoyed my little attempt to lighten up the otherwise dreary news drumbeat.

Have a good day and a great weekend. Come back tomorrow for Poetry Sunday ... if you wake up in time. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2023

Yes, it's that time again - time to shine the spotlight of dishonor upon yet another deserving ass clown. The job of selection never gets easier, but this time I think the choice is obvious (at least to me). Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the tinfoil and toilet paper crown designating

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2023

is presented, with flatulent blare of trumpets, to

Representative James Comer (R, KY-1)

In a Republican-dominated House of Representatives focused on revenge for the exposure and prosecution of Der Furor's crimes, it has become vital to muddy the judicial waters and maintain a drumbeat of innuendo and outright lies to deflect attention from the facts that: (1) Der Furor is deep in criminal liability; and (2) the current administration appears to be doing a good job of responding to multiple economic and political crises; and (3) GOP has no rational plans of its own for responding to those multiple economic and political crises. One of the leading cheerleaders of the Republican let's-fling-as-much-crap-as-possible-against-the-wall-and-hope-something-sticks approach to governance is Mr Comer in his role as chair of the House Oversight and Accountability Committee.

Accountability, of course, only works in one direction for Mr Comer and his associates, who turn a blind eye to the documented criminality of the previous administration, ignoring the mountains of available evidence while working relentlessly to undermine the current one.

Mr Comer is a master of appearing on Fox News, looking gravely serious, and making totally evidence-free assertions about the imaginary misdeeds of the Biden Administration. From his lofty, but unworthy perch as committee chair, he need not worry about such things as truth, dignity, honor, and justice ... and he doesn't.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2023, is Kentucky Representative James Comer - a fine partner to other such Kentucky luminaries as Mitch McConnell and  Rand Paul. Poor Kentucky.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday - more thoughts then.

Bilbo

 

Musical Sunday

Last Sunday marked the anniversary of the first successful test (in 1945) of an atomic bomb, memorialized in the film Oppenheimer, now in theaters. More recently than that, Japan has announced it plans to release millions of gallons of radioactive water from the damaged Fukushima nuclear power plant into the Pacific Ocean, leading to fears of a new wave of Godzilla movies. With these things in mind, it seems reasonable to dedicate this week's Musical Sunday to this tune from The Firm ...

Well, at least if you're radiated enough, you may be able to read by your own light.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

  

Cartoon Saturday

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!! ...

President Biden has nominated Air Force General Charles Q. Brown to be the next Air Force Chief of Staff, and Admiral Lisa Franchetti to be the first woman Chief of Naval Operations; Judge Aileen Cannon has set May 20, 2024 for the start of Der Furor’s trial on charges of mishandling classified documents; beloved singer Tony Bennett has died at the age of 97; Russia has increased its attacks on Ukrainian grain storage and port facilities, and has threatened to treat any shipping bound for Ukraine as hostile and subject to attack; the “law and order” Republican governor and legislature of Alabama have defied a Supreme Court order by failing to create a second majority black Congressional district in the state; and Russian President Vladimir Putin has claimed that the western area of Poland was a “gift” from then-Soviet dictator Josef Stalin to the Poles, and that his intelligence services should keep an eye on Poland lest it try to invade and occupy the western areas of Ukraine.

Since Mike has the market on tree posts pretty much sewed up every Thursday, I thought I'd go ahead and dedicate a Cartoon Saturday to trees ...

Law and Order: Forest ...  

Avoiding a dendrological faux pas ...

I can relate ...

It was okay until the night the leaves came off after a few drinks ...

Parents of teens will understand this one ...

When trees get irritated ...

The secret is exposed! ...

That's harsh ...

Busted!! ...

It's a prudent precaution ...

And that's a wrap for another Cartoon Saturday - I hope it helped take some of the edge off the week. 

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Musical Sunday tries to put a song in our collective hearts.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Well, Friends, it's time to take our minds off Congressional nonsense by pondering other mysteries of the universe ... like how some nonsense gets past those responsible for making sure that signs, ads, and headlines are correct. Put that safety belt around your brain and let's dive in ...

How much to ride someone else? ...

Well, I guess that's a reasonable request ...

I hear the servers' uniforms are decorated with old lace ...

When you go to a cannibal wedding ...

Send in the clones ... 

Yes, please do ...

And this is different from amateur bathroom tissue how? ...

I think I'll hold out for the professional version ...

I wonder if the sign painter has ever actually seen a rooster ...

I don't even know where to begin with this one ...

And there you go! Another collection of editorial and signage ya-ha's to take your mind off the news. I hope it worked.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday - more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

If you're like me, you'll usually forget to do something if you haven't written down a stern reminder to do it ... and then remembered where you wrote it down. This is why the marketing of fancy "to do lists" of various design is so lucrative. I myself have a large collection of stick-on reminders of things I need to do, such as these ...

For those who don't have classy printed reminders of what they need to do, poet Brian Bilston offers his own list in today's poem ...

To Do List

by Brian Bilston

• delay • defer • equivocate

• make some tea • procrastinate

• look at Facebook • stroke the cat

• readjust the thermostat

• dawdle • dither • hem and haw

• fill the kettle • chew my jaw

• write nine words • spin on chair

• play six games of solitaire

• observe the merry, dappled light

dancing on the page of white

• review my words • paper scrunch

• stroke the cat • break for lunch

• prioritise new tasks to shirk

• ponder changing world of work

• look at Facebook • spin on chair

• make a brew • loiter • stare

• reorganise the kitchen drawer

• attempt the crossword • eat coleslaw

• write nine words • cross six out

• stroke the cat • stoke self-doubt

• make tea • stroke cat • Facebook • stare

• coleslaw • chair-spin • solitaire

• stroke tea • make cat • chair-slaw • wallow

• write To Do list for tomorrow

With the exception of the reminders to stroke cats (of which I have none), this could be a standard list for me.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Who dreams up these weeks, anyhow?

An Italian judge's ruling that groping lasting less than ten seconds does not constitute sexual harassment has resulted in widespread outrage; in a major diplomatic win for President Biden and a bitter (but somehow unsurprising) loss for Russian leader Vladimir Putin, Turkish president Erdogan has decided to support the accession of Sweden to membership in NATO; three large tax preparation firms sent “extraordinarily sensitive” information on tens of millions of taxpayers to Facebook parent company Meta over the course of at least two years, enabling Meta to train its algorithms and to create targeted advertising to its own users and other companies; the Department of Justice announced that it will reverse an earlier decision and no longer shield Der Furor from a defamation lawsuit by New York writer E. Jean Carroll; and in New York (not Florida??), a middle-school principal used Snapchat to try to lure a 16-year-old girl to meet him in a remote location for sex — when police arrested him, he was equipped with condoms, chicken nuggets and a Grimace milkshake from McDonald’s.

With the news being so relentlessly disturbing lately, I thought a few cartoons poking fun at our news media would be a good things this week ...

Admit it - you always wondered what happens in the studio when the cameras go off ...

They're going to need more money and a bigger jar ...

I think these will work in most cases ...

It's what helps me get through the news, too ...

Uh, oh ...

That's how it is most days, isn't it? ...

It's a living ...

That's the top story pretty much every day, isn't it? ...

I guess times don't always change ...

Hell, I'm saying that NOW ...

And that's it for this edition of Cartoon Saturday ... I hope it helped you over the past week's news.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns.

Bilbo