Products I Don't Really Need

There are lots of things out there contending for my money. I'm a gadget freak, especially for kitchen gadgets, and if it's within my limited means, I'll usually buy it for myself. My study is littered with odd gadgets, some of which I've come to love, others of which (like the 3x5-inch digital picture frame and my early-model iPaq PDA) have gone to that great digital junkyard in the sky. But there's a fancy new digital product out there now that I don't think will be appearing in my home or property any time soon.

Say hello to the digital tombstone.

Yes, for a mere $2000, you can own the so-called "serenity panel" system as an add-on to your ordinary, tacky granite tombstone. Visitors to your eternal condo can view a slideshow of your life, watch videos of your earthly highlights, or hear your voice offering recorded greetings from the Great Beyond.

Oh, for Pete's sake...

Years ago, Bill Cosby did a little routine about funeral cliches, envisioning himself lying in his coffin with a cassette player greeting mourners with things like, "Hi! Here I am! Don't I look natural? Don't I look like myself?" I suppose it had to come to pass sooner or later.

So...

For all of you out there who are scratching your heads over what to get me for Christmas, don't bother ordering the Serenity System. Once I'm gone, I won't care.

And you probably wouldn't want to know where the tech support center is located.

Have a good day. E-mail me for a copy of my Christmas gift list. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo