Bilbo's Economic Stimulus Package

You may have felt the earth shake yesterday when Republicans and Democrats in the House of Representatives actually managed to agree on something other than mutual hatred. In a rare moment of bipartisan teeth-gritting, our esteemed representatives reached agreement on an "economic stimulus package" designed to give the economy a shot in the arm and help counter the cascading effects of continuing economic bad news. Because Republican fingerprints are on it, the "stimulus package" includes tax cuts for businesses; because the Democrats got a vote, it includes direct payments to taxpayers in the form of a one-time tax rebate.

Will this solve our problems? I doubt it. It can't hurt, but I think it's too little to do any good.

Here's Bilbo's Proposed Economic Stimulus Package:

1. Burn all hedge fund managers, stock traders, and similar bottom-dwelling creatures at the stake.

2. Impose the death penalty for stock fraud. Crushing the miscreants under giant piles of loose change would do it.

3. Eliminate all budgetary earmarks and plow the money thus saved back into the operation of the government. It might even be applied to partially pay for the tax rebates!

4. Impose hefty fines on any member of Congress who recommends a spending plan without explaining where the money to pay for it will come from.

5. If Congress is fixated on screwing around with taxes to fix the economy, how about this: make medical expenses 100% deductible, and pay for it by eliminating tax credits for paper losses incurred by individuals and by businesses that are otherwise profitable. Healthy taxpayers will probably work more, being more productive for the economy and thus paying more taxes. Oh, and how about some form of tax credit for businesses that create actual, paying jobs for Real People?

6. Did I mention burning the weasels responsible for economic mismanagement and fraud at the stake?

Okay, I'm not an economist. I don't even play one on TV, and I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. But I know, at the level of the Real Person on the street, that something needs to be done. Real People need Real Jobs that pay Real Wages so they can buy Real Products and keep the American economy humming along. It seems to me that if we want low prices, the way to get them isn't to send manufacturing and service jobs overseas ... that just means that Real People won't have Real Jobs to earn Real Money to pay for those low-priced goods.

I'm angry and starting to get incoherent, but I need to swallow it for a while. At least I have a job, and I need to go and do it.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

P.S. - a thought from comedienne Paula Poundstone: "The wages of sin may be death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."

I'm tired.

B.