Making the Olympics More Interesting

I didn’t watch much of the recent Olympics. To tell the truth, I just didn’t care. Michael Phelps? Good on ya, pal – great job. Women’s beach volleyball? Fun to watch, but I hate having to keep changing my drool-soaked t-shirts. Boxing? I never could get off on watching people beat each other’s brains out.

I also got tired of hearing about all the products that were “The Official ____” of the Olympics. I don’t really need to know that Acme makes the official jet skates of the Olympics, guaranteed to catch pesky Roadrunners.

Maybe I could get interested in the Olympics if some changes were made. One of my friends forwarded me an e-mail yesterday that suggested combining various events to increase the level of excitement. I thought that was an excellent idea, and have a few suggestions for game combinations for the IOC to consider to liven up the 2012 London games:

Fencing and Archery – played at a distance, you gain points for shooting your foil into your opponent;

Synchronized Swimming and Greco-Roman Wrestling – your team wins when they simultaneously pin their opponents until the bubbles stop coming up;

Basketball and Judo – you get extra points for throwing both the ball and the opposing player through the hoop;

Equestrian Jumping and Weight Lifting – instead of jumping the horse over the obstacle, you’d have to lift it across;

Hockey and Shooting – it would certainly liven up some of the fights, and the penalty box could double as a first aid station;

And finally,

Women's Beach Volleyball and the Women’s 100m Breaststroke – no more of that patting your teammate on the fanny…

Don't thank me. Think of it as my way of helping bring the Olympics into the modern era. And if you have any other events to suggest, lay 'em on me. Together, we'll make the London Games much more exciting.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo