Thursday, December 03, 2009

Signs You've Gotten Carried Away with Christmas Shopping

Regardless of the state of the economy, parents try to make Christmas a big event for their children, and most of us are willing to go to ridiculous lengths and spend money we don't have in order to fill up the space under the tree and make the children happy. Here are a few signs you may have gotten carried away with Christmas shopping...

Before stepping out of your car, you put in a mouthpiece, slip on protective goggles, and tape your ankles.

You're sure that "Visa burn" entitles you to park in handicapped spaces.

You call the kids to dinner and hear their muffled screams coming from boxes you wrapped that afternoon.

At 65% off, you don't care if that Acme Iron Lung works or not...your kids are going to use it and appreciate it!

The sign says "one per customer," but you calculate that they're not doing body cavity searches.

The bank has replaced your Platinum Visa with a one-of-a-kind Plutonium Visa.

On any given day, you have more plastic on you than a full year's worth of Playboy Playmates.

In an effort to please your 5-year-old, you trade your 2-year-old for a Wii.

Your American Express bill arrives on a DVD.

Don't thank me. If I've helped you get over your obsession, it's reward enough. And don't worry about getting me anything exotic for Christmas...the traditional 5-pound box of $100 bills is always a good choice.

Have a good day. 23 days till Christmas.

More thoughts tomorrow.



The Mistress of the Dark said...


Phfrankie Bondo said...

...darn fine list ya got there, sir...actually laughed out loud at the American Express part...

Leslie David said...

I like the list, I don't go anywhere near a mall during the holidays and my family and I don't exchange gifts so I don't have anyone to shop for besides the cat, and he's easy--a couple of toy mousies, some balls, and kitty treats.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

They're very accurate!

Mike said...

I do all my shopping on Dec 24th around 10pm at Walgreens.

Wv: probeml - The probeml is spelling.

KKTSews said...

This year I did cyber shopping, in my jammies, on "black friday". Way better than fighting crowds.